My mother in law has dementia. She is now living at her daughters house. There is no power of attorney. What are the rules of this? There is no surviving spouse and there are 3 children. My husbands sister thinks that she has control of everything. My mother in law can't handle anything on her own. I don't know what my sister in law is doing with her SSI checks.
Hands-on caregiving is difficult and can cost money. Hiring an outsider to do this work would cost a great deal. So, please don't jump to any conclusions about the daughter's use of your MIL's money. That said, everything should be in the open and a POA should be obtained. The caregiver may even be paying for some respite care. That shouldn't be a problem, but it needs to be documented in order to hold the family together, as the money should go for your MIL's care, medications, etc.
I hope there is a good enough relationship in the family to talk this through.
Carol