I’m 66 yo retired RN living in NYC, widowed once and remarried in 2008. My husband was diagnosed with MS in 2009. He also has DMll and is now on insulin. He has cognitive damage, short term memory loss, incontinance , and uses a wheelchair. I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer in 2014. I’m also being treated for PTSD since 2016 and awaiting settlement or trial. I’ve been through multiple bouts of burnout over the last 10 years. I have scheduled a consultation with an “elder law attorney”. It’s overwhelming!! We have no family assistance. I’m IT! I imagine myself alone and impoverished as the surviving spouse. A frightening prospect.
2. Depending on your husbands other medical conditions he may qualify for Hospice. (It can not hurt to call and ask, no longer is the time on Hospice 6 months or less, my Husband was on Hospice 3 years) Many Hospice will provide incontinence products as well as cream, gloves and other supplies. Not to mention you will get someone in to help a few times a week. And you can request a Volunteer that will come in and stay with him while you run errands or just take a bit of Me time.. (Medicare requires the 5% of the cost of patient care be Volunteer time)
I can understand your own feelings especially when diagnosed with a serious illness. Was glad to read that you are now in remission, but the treatment for breast cancer can leave a lot of lasting side effects. Especially those pills one needs to take for 5 to 10 years. I couldn't deal with the side effects any longer so I tossed those pills after 4 years :P And I started eating organic foods, do feel better. Organic corn on the cob is wonderful this time of the year :)
Yes, go see the "Elder Law Attorney", I know I was glad I went. I even had my very elderly parents [also in their 90's] to have all their legal documents updated, as everything they had was older than dirt, and filled with landmines as they didn't use a specialized Attorney in the far past. Anyhoo, an Elder Law Attorney knows the ins and outs of Medicaid, and will guide you.