My wife and I are very concerned about the combination of vicodin and valium being prescribed for my mother in law. She is showing alarming side effects, but her physician will not discuss with us since we do not have permission from her and she will not give it due to her dependency for the medication at this point. We desperately need help and do not know where to turn.
I had the same issue when my dad became ill, went to lawyer got the POA and from that point I had no issues whatsoever.
If she is acting strange - as in overmedicated - take to the ER or call EMS. They can get her for inpatient treatment for overmedication or medication dependency issues (preferable term compared to OD which is near fatal). Unless she is declared incompetent, she has the right to live her life any way she chooses.
If she has signs of substance abuse/dependency that is interfering with her life and relationships, I recommend you both attend Alanon or a similar support group for family and friends of substance dependent people. You need to avoid co-dependency issues while trying to obtain better care for her.
You are not alone. Prayers and blessing for your family.
I am on both anti anxiety meds and opiates and boy, I get the 3rd degree every 3 months. My PCP is on top of the law and will NOT refill prior to 90% of the drugs being used. My psych doc prescribes the antianxiety meds.
Now, playing devil's advocate for a second---do you know the names and dosages of her meds? A Tylenol 3 is like a Tic-Tac to me and my arthritis and back pain. One valium? I wouldn't even notice it. I have a friend who does not understand pain meds--she had a knee replaced and I went to care for her one day. She was beyond upset that her dr has prescribed her 1-2, 5 mg Norco every 4-6 hr for pain, with 600 mgs of ibuprofen 'piggybacked' in there. She's 2 days out of major surgery and sobbing in pain b/c she had taken ONE Norco 4.5 hours earlier and 'couldn't take anything else for 90 minutes.' I explained to her that she could take another Norco, the ibuprofen and we'd have her on a 5 hr schedule and she could slowly taper off. She was in enough pain she did take the 2nd Norco. It took a few hours with me gently coaxing her and icing her knee before she finally said "Oh, I think I'll be OK". It took 3 hrs for the pain to go from what she called a 10 to a manageable 4. It was absolutely horrible and sad b/c she really, really was suffering, but she had seen all the billboards about opiates being 'killers'. Not a dumb woman, just really, really, uneducated.
She was off all but the ibuprofen in a week and flushed the remaining Norco--although I told her it is not a bad thing to have a stronger pain med available....she was absolutely frantic about addiction.
You know who the MOST ADDICTED people in the USA are??? Anesthesiologists. I know, b/c my DIL is one and she TOLD me. She said the 'opiate crisis' is an inflated scare tactic made up by the gov't. TRUE drug abusers will get the stuff they crave, no matter what. The pendulum will swing back towards center and we won't all be so panicky.
Not saying your MIL doesn't have a problem, but it would be a lot more helpful if you KNEW what she was taking. Old people hurt. IMHO, it's criminal to withhold pain meds from them. I know w/o mine I would not be able to function on a daily basis.
I do think you need to address her behavior and such, but I wouldn't do so without a LOT more information.