Mom really hasn't eaten in 3 weeks now; just a teaspoon of jello or part of a popsicle. She's still drinking fluids. She's been home for 9 weeks now and is definitely weakening and sleeping a lot more. She had broken her hip and fractured pelvis in 2 spots and refused physical therapy due to pain. If she has any dementia, it is very mild. She keeps insisting on us helping her try to walk. A few weeks ago, my husband and I sat her on edge of bed and put a walker in front of her and got her on her feet. She couldn't support herself at all. Today she asked to try again! I told her she can't and she keeps wanting to try. I said no. She said that she can't be a cripple the rest of her life and she needs to eat to get better. The nurse told me she's not going to improve, which I pretty much knew. So it seems that she's forgotten she's going to die and that's she's just sick and will get better. Any advice on what to say to her? Thank you all so much.
Best wishes
Only Gid truly knows if your mom is going to get better or not.
If she wants to eat more feed her more.
If you already know her wishes once she dies, then there is no need to discuss her dying.
The mind has a lot to do with a person getting better or not.
Whst purpose would it make to tell a person they are never going to get better and they are going to die? We're all going to die at some point.
Let your mom live out her remaining time on this earth doing exactly whatever she wants, as long as she isn't hurting anyone.
She just might surprise you. 😇
I wouldn't
Gen
Tell her you'll help her try her walker when she is stronger. It really could be rallying and it may even be for your sake.
But I wouldn't lie to her either. I think I would like to be spoken to honestly at the end of my life, I would discuss her dying depending on her spiritual beliefs, give her as much comfort as you can. If you don't think she can or wants to hear that, then comfort her and tell her she must rest now and the future will sort itself out.
Take care of yourself in this difficult time.
If there is something she would like to eat, you offer it to her. She probably won't manage more than a taste of it. That's okay.
In short - whatever offers your mother peace of mind and comfort in the moment is *fine.*
If she has always been a religious person - has she? - and you have any concerns about her being prepared for death in a ritual way, consult her minister.
She won't be trying to stand much longer, so just go with it for this short time.
Be positive, be kind, and just love on her while she's still with you.
Sometimes, just before the end there is a burst of emotions and it’s sort of the last hurrah! Look up rallying before death. My brother did this before his death.