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Thank you shezza1 for your honesty and speaking the truth. My heart goes out to you. Big HUGS to you!!
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Not everyone has a perfect mother like you MEG!! Not everyone believes in god. There are plenty of atheists out there. If I could erase your guilt inducing stupid comment on here, I would. None of us are going to take care of you.
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Newsflash for you meg the judgy mcjudgerson perfect martyr——most people here spent or have spent many years providing hands on care to their elderly parents and/or spouses and have cared for them so much that they.....wait for it.....sought even BETTER care in a facility staffed with trained professionals! I am about sick and tired of jackasses like yourself who think so highly OF YOURSELF for taking care of someone as if it makes you so much better than the rest of us! Did it not occur to you that people in facilities can be better taken care of because they have a village taking care of them instead of a single burnt out caregiver? Huh? Did you think about that? Some people’s parents have received BETTER care In a facility than the care you provided to your parent Or could ever provide! How do you like that reality check?
and did you know that many here who are advocate for placement in a facility NEVER placed their own parents? Do you realize that they sacrificed their Heath, their personal relationships, and financial well-beings so their parents or spouse could be cared for at home? And that they are speaking from experience and encouraging others not to make the same mistakes they made? Did that ever occur to you? There aren’t a lot of people here who will tell you that they cared for a relative full time and had no life and gave up everything and that they would gladly do it again in a heartbeat.

so please. stop judging the people you disagree with. You don’t know what they’ve been through.
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lealonnie1 Jan 2020
Well said. I can truthfully say that my mother would have died years ago had she not been in Assisted Living where the staff recognized pneumonia symptoms immediately, called in the doctors who come to the community, and got her on antibiotics right away. Several other instances where a health issue was immediately addressed rather than stalled while I was at work making a living and not at home. Not to mention the social interaction she's had has been so helpful to her state of mind. The self important people who insist the only good care is at home are misinformed. Not that there aren't good care givers at home too, it's just not the ONLY way.

Just because you're right doesn't make me wrong, and vice versa.

And lastly, those caring for severe dementia cases at home are facing danger with the elders potentially getting out at night and wandering. A man I used to take care of did just that and wound up falling in the street and lying there for hours before being found. He passed away the next day from a head injury. I know how badly the family felt for refusing to place him in Memory Care.
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Thank you worriedincali for your perfect response!!! You summed it up perfectly!!!!
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To Meg523: Just wondering why you would be laying a guilt trip on this OP or on ANY ONE of us when you've apparently had your OWN MOTHER placed in a Nursing Home, per this comment you left on a thread on 12/29/19:

"Go to walmart or any such store & get a laundry marker. Mark all there cloths with there last name & room number. Use a light color so the ink shows up. This is at first a lot of work but helpful & worth it. Don't by real expensive clothing it may come up missing. My mom's pants would till I caught on. It's ok to let house keeping do the laundry. Get to know the head nurse & all the shift nurses. I was there so much they all thought I worked there. Also get to know the social worker. Never be afraid to say anything. You have to be your parents help. I have gotten one person fired & 2 removed from the floor. Always talk to & listen to your parents. Check there bodies out for unusual marks, brusies, sores & such. There depending on you to protect them & care for them. They can't. There was an aid who was verbally abusing my mom & one who was lazy & neglecting her & one who just showed up to do things when she figured someone was watching. Always ask questions about everything. If your like me you'll figure out what aids & nurses are there because they want to be & love there jobs & those who just need a pay check. After 13 years in the nursing home situation I know quite a lot. Be on a constant alert."

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
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worriedinCali Jan 2020
Wow! That is unbelievable! She must be trolling us.
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My heart goes out to you. really it does. I feel like you do maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. That being said I go once a week to see my dad in a facility. Last time I thought he was going to bite me. But the time before he was great. So, I'm here and don't know what to tell you. Sending hugs and lots of them your way....
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