What did you notice with early stages of dementia with your loved ones?

All of these replies are good information. I will add (if no one has already), make certain that she is taking her medication even if she tells you she is. My husband and I are in Michigan and mom lived in Pennsylvania after my dad passed away. When we would go to visit her, it hadn’t occurred to me that because she was getting older she was getting forgetful in a dangerous way. I did see a couple of pans burnt, like she forgot she was cooking something. But when I noticed her blood pressure medication all in one section of her daily pill holder, I asked her about it. She said she remembers to take one every day so she doesn’t have to put them in the separate days to remember. I look back now and wish I had kept a good eye on if she was remembering to take them. She ended up having a stroke and it may have been because she wasn’t taking her blood pressure pills. Even if she doesn’t have dementia, like you said, we all start forgetting a lot more as we age. It may be wise to put a camera in her home to keep a close eye on her when you aren’t there. My mother never regained strength enough to walk so she is in a wheelchair and lives with us in Michigan in our home for two years now. She needs full care, diapering, the whole bit. I’m not sure if all of this could’ve been avoided, but I certainly suggest to just assume the forgetfulness could lead to something bad happening.

I noticed some minor forgetfulness at first, but my husband owned a commercial mowing business. Men on his crews noticed bigger things before I did but “didn’t want to say anything”. My husband was very good at excuses or finding ways around his shortcomings and still is. For them, they noticed he would say that they were heading to one location, then drive to a different location or not remember how to get from one customer to another. He finally started letting others drive. I became aware of problems when he used my car that we’d had over 10 years but couldn’t figure out how to turn off the headlights. The second time it happened, I set up a doctor’s appointment. Prior to the appointment, he drove us somewhere & was overly cautious - driving slow, obviously concentrating on what he was doing, wanted no distractions such as the radio on or having a conversation while driving. I knew then there was a big problem…and there was. He was diagnosed over a year ago & has continued to decline. To this day, he’ll find a way to work around something or make an excuse why he can’t do something. 100% denial, even though he is on medication and seeing neuro-psych on a regular basis. You just have to step in & do what you have to do. Your instincts are generally correct.

My hubby has early onset of vascular dementia, post stroke in 2017. In the last few months, I've noticed he asks repeatedly, what day his cataract surgery is in January, he can't remember how to make a phone call on his flip phone (downgraded from an android), how to work the tv remote, how to do things on his computer. I don't mind answering his questions, but it's things he should remember. We see his stroke doctor next month, I'm going to suggest maybe another neuro test to just see if the doc can tell me "what stage" he is at. I don't think hubby understands much of this.

All of the things that you describe point to early stages. Any real change in their usual habits are a key too. There is a quick Medicare dementia quiz that your family physician can administer that may also diagnose early stages. My husband struggled with replicating two linked pentagrams even though the picture was at the top of the page.

I think your intuition should also be a guide. You know there’s something awry - it’s why you are here. Trust that and get a doctor involved. What if you told your loved one whatever tests are involved to determine impairment are required to continue her Medicare. Like the yearly mammogram or gyno appt. (Or whatever the male equivalent is.). “Mom, time for your annual
checkup. Because you are ## this year they also test blah, blah and blah. Better safe than sorry .. right, mom? We can get lunch at your favorite place after.”

These are some of the things I noticed: My mom seemed less empathetic with people and situations. She would call my house and leave messages on our home phone while I was at work saying "hello! hello! I haven't heard from anyone in a long time!" It was a work day and it had only been a couple of days since we spoke. We had made plans to shop for clothes to wear to my brothers wedding. I took off from work to do this and when I got to her house she answered the door in grungy clothes and seemed surprised to see me and said she didn't feel like going and shut the door in my face. Looking back I think she forgot about the plans and she may not even have known who I was. She started telling me crazy stories about kids stealing her mail out of her mailbox. She had post it notes stuck over anything that illuminated, like the microwave clock, the cordless phone face that lights up, etc. She was supposed to come to my house for my brothers birthday dinner and got lost on the way over and didn't know where she was. I knew then that she needed tested for dementia. My mom was still in her sixties at the time.

If you feel that something is off with your mom......believe your intuition.

In my case, we didn't know until she broke her back. Then we had a year that we didn't know if she would be able to live at home alone. However, things were happening long before that. She was talking to scammers online. She quit balancing her checkbook. She was getting fraudulent charges on her credit card, but unable to get them corrected. My mother had always been a little absent minded, so it was hard to tell. She's fairly stable right now.

As far as hearing, yes. It does contribute.

All of the signs you mentioned are normal signs of aging - and early dementia. However, one red flag screams to me - time to beware: the not noticing smell and smoke of something burning. This exact thing happened to me with my Mom, she was sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper while the kitchen filled with smoke. When I ran in and said Don't you see all this smoke, don't you smell it? She looked confused and said "No". Another time she put a bottle of nail polish in the microwave to "loosen the cap". One time she attempted to visit her social club on her own (2 short blocks away) and got lost. These are the things that help you know your Mom is entering the land of early dementia. My Mom was 2 months short of 99 when she died: a vibrant, funny and beloved woman who still was able to sew, cook a few things, give advice, read the newspaper, and carry out a conversation - YET she could never be left alone. So treasure your Mom now for the person she is now, slighted changed - but know that these changes are a signal to you to help keep her safe.
One last thing: Mention these changes to her doctor on her next visit, and each subsequent visit so they can be documented. If and when you apply for Medicaid, your doctor will need to do the certification forms - and those records will be accessed.
We are here for you!

A friend who does research in the subject once told me, “It isn’t when one puts their car keys in the refrigerator, it is when they forget what the car keys are used to do.”. My husband had progressing memory lapses both short and long term that tipped me off that something was brewing. Then sundowning began. It wasn’t until he confused his mobile telephone with the tv remote, with the control for his chair that I knew his dementia was advancing more quickly than expected. Most often he’s fine but every once in a while the mass confusion surfaces. Socialization, art, music, continuous learning are so very important. Also, the right medications, under supervision of course, bring much ease. Blessings to you and all in this journey,

Hard to tell from what you describe; dementia can present differently in people. Dementia does NOT progress in a uniform way and this many also depend on the type of dementia.

Some folks -- not having experienced a LO w/dementia -- may assume it is just "forgetfulness" or "inability to remember" or "putting things in the wrong place" or "getting lost" type behaviors. Instead, there are a myriad of other things such as general confusion and difficulty with mental processing (such as the confusion over having two bank accounts at the same bank or letters received from the bank). Behavioral issues, especially "big changes" in behavior (becoming nocturnal, late in the day agitation or sundowning, frustration/anger outburst). Communication difficulties, especially difficulty with nouns. And interestingly, gait issues.

Here is an article about "gait" issues being perhaps diagnostic of greater later risk for AZ. Watch the video, the woman is 72 years old. If just walking, the woman has no problems. But when she walks while counting backwards, it falls apart as the brain is having a hard time processing two things at once. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/17/health/research/signs-of-cognitive-decline-and-alzheimers-are-seen-in-gait.html

All to say, many issues may be seen by you that raise concerns and YES take this seriously. And YES if you can get your LO assessed, go to a geriatric physician who can work out referrals to a neurologist, a geriatric psychiatrist a and geriatric psychologist (for the brain imaging tests, to rule out underling medical and mental health issues, and for the battery of psychologist test to get an accurate diagnosis).

The discussion to move forward to be accessed can often be very difficult for lots of reasons: denial, fear (not wanting to know), lack of awareness, on and on. My mom had something called "Anosognosia," that made her entirely unaware of any health or cognitive issues; making it impossible to discuss what I was seeing as clear evidence of cognitive decline to the point I was sure it was dementia (later diagnosed as such). Here is an article on this problem:

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22832-anosognosia

I have found the "Better Health While Aging" site, articles and videos helpful as part of my learning about dementia. Here are two that you might find helpful.

https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/6-steps-how-to-help-aging-parents-get-care/

https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/cognitive-impairment-causes-and-how-to-evaluate/

Worth trying to discuss first with your LO, more by asking what they see or are feeling and expressing concern, rather than "you need to do.....". Get the contact information for their medical providers and call your LO'a primary doctor. HIPPA (health confidentiality) confuses people. YES the doctor cannot tell you anything unless your LO has given them permission to do so; but YOU CAN still tell them things about your concern and what you are seeing and ask that they consider a full board dementia assessment. They do NOT need to say yes or no, but you can convey info. so do that especially if your LO is oppositional to discussing this.

Also, as others have said, it would be good to get all the legal paper work in place too: durable medical and financial Power of Attorney, advanced directives, and list of accounts (bank, credit cards, life insurance, IRA, 401K, pension, utilities, etc). And set up on-line access so if you need to take over, you can.

Elder care attorneys licensed in your state can help with this paperwork and planning. And good to have a plan, even if it is not dementia. At some point, something happens and scrambling in an emergency is never the best option.

Best of luck with this.

Let me just say that it is common to be confused what is old age forgetfulness, MCI (mild cognitive impairment) or dementia. I had the same dilemma with my husband and the best thing I could do was change his doctor to a Geriatric one familiar with all of them. He immediately sent him for an MRI of the brain and testing him mentally by asking many questions to see how much he remembers. It gave us a clear picture where he was with no guessing. This is a progressive disease with no cure and you can expect different stages with characteristics for each one. Go on the Alzheimer’s website as it is very helpful and educate yourself so you don’t beat yourself up. While your spouse is still cognitive and can make financial and other important decisions do that now with an attorney for POA, will, etc. My husband went from MCI to dementia very quickly so was glad we did everything as soon as we found out. Also if there is something you both want to do or travel don’t wait because it is a progressive disease. I wish you and your husband the
best.

Hindsight is 20/,20 and I think this is especially true with dementia, because the things that I slightly questioned and were puzzled by years ago are now glaringly obvious to me now as the beginning stages. Mom didn't keep the house clean ---something that was very important in the past. She no longer balanced her checking account, paperwork everywhere and not filed properly. She started falling. She struggled making a strawberry pie, something she did very well years ago. But it was hard to see and hard to approach her about, because she denied it and told me I was just as forgetful. Going to the doctor was out of the question. Both my parents have ALZ, but years ago in the beginning stages, they thought doctors were nuts and dismissed everything. It was really frustrating, but now it is beyond obvious.

He began to resist cooking from a recipe in general - and then he began to forget all the old recipes he had cooked repeatedly. He loved cooking - he had a Pinterest group which I titled Chef Papa. And then it was the beginning of the end of our life together.

Really, really hard to tell. When she moved in with us 20 years ago (we had all best intentions to look after her), she was 78 and okay. The move made her very grouchy and depressed. I don't blame her for that, I would have felt the same and in retrospect i wish we could have done things differently, but I don't know how... Anyway, the first time I recall being concerned was a year or so later, when she got muddled up with her bank statements. I studied them, explained to her that she'd got 2 different accounts with the same bank, which was why they didn't match. To my great concern, she could not understand or accept my explanation, just got more and more angry! After that... she'd often burst into my room at 7am, ranting about some letter the bank had sent her. She got worse and worse at understanding 'official' letters, although her behaviour was normal otherwise, more or less.

Fast forward: she had a number of illnesses, eg. shingles, compression fractures from osteoporosis, etc. Obviously v.painful and distressing. Every time she was ill, I could see her deteriorating. She still kept doing her normal things eg. shopping, Tai Chi class, driving - but after a real bad bout of back pain in 2013, things went downhill. She lost interest in her favourite TV programmes. Also, hearing loss accelerated the process. When our financial adviser came round, she'd just stare into space, getting more and more irritated - she had no idea why he was there.

All this time I think I was in denial, cos she could still chat with her friend, play her piano and seem like her old self. She got noticably bad in the last 3 years or so - becoming paranoid, convinced there were other people in the house, getting very anxious when I and my hubby went out. Getting up in the middle of the night, sometimes asking me who I was - but this was in the later stages. I think it was only when I read a psychiatrist's interview with her (requested by the care home she was in for the last few months) that I accepted just how bad her dementia had become. She could still hold a conversation, just, but her memory was GONE. (She died this year age 98).

This is all to say the early signs can be hard to spot. Her confusion over bank letters - even tho she continued keeping meticulous expenditure records - was an early red flag. After that, it's hard to know to what extent her ill-health contributed to her mental decline.

When we first notice dementia on my BIL it was when we asked him what month it was he couldn't say. Then we asked him what season it was no right answer there either. The neurologist asked him to repeat some words back to him he gave like ball, pencil, and car, couldn't repeat them back to him. There is a test that they can give but my BIL couldn't do it because he couldn't read past a 3rd grade level.

The best way is to have a doctor help you in this matter.

I’d say this is a complicated answer. But if you have any doubts about your mother’s cognitive abilities, I would suggest that you/she get all the essential legal and medical paperwork accomplished before she is deemed incompetent- not saying it will happen - but if it does things can become more complicated . And yes, you should connect with an attorney. My husband experienced increased short term memory issues, decreased ability to smell and be aware of his physical daily ADL’s, what I and 2 doctors thought was a depth perception issue, has now been deemed a result of mini strokes of which we were both unaware. He’s been seen by a neurologist, neurosurgeon, hematologist, rheumatologist, urologist, primary care, ophthalmologist— all docs have referred him back to the neurologist- saying that the symptoms have been/are related to his Mixed Dementia issues. If at any point a dementia diagnosis is received- ask about the specific dementia(s) and why the doc came to that diagnosis vs. another. In and of itself, short term and confusion can be related to so many things other than / in addition to - dementia

Good luck - this can be a challenging time.

If you are asking the question here, consider talking with a doctor. I am a caregiver for my father who has dementia. I recently picked Health magazine up at the grocery. They have a special edition on dementia. It has a full range of articles and covers all you are asking. Search for it online- it is a blue cover with a brain on it.

I lost my long response ! Although this is a good place to go.

https://aviv-clinics.com/blog/brain-health/early-signs-of-dementia/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=17856096207&adgroupid=142106508639&utm_content=632136967088&utm_term=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA-oqdBhDfARIsAO0TrGF3jkGgi4aHGlfweM3w4AB9FTpICt8zgJf5cLAVvcvMEXKi0RcUHfcaAq7dEALw_wcB

Gena / Touch Matters

Here's a simple "test." Casually ask her how old she was 20 years ago. This requires her to do several sequential steps in her head while keeping the final goal in mind. If she can't quickly tell you how old she was 20 years ago, it's a bad sign. If she can't do it, she'll probably pretend she didn't hear you or ask you to repeat it, or she'll ignore it and start talking about something else. If she's having trouble walking around an unfamiliar store, she probably can't tell you how old she was 20 years ago. She probably can't do it even if you supply her with hints and a paper and pencil.

Start jotting down notes after every time you speak to her, on the phone or in person. You'll notice patterns that way. I spoke to my mother on the phone almost every day for several years in the earlier phase of dementia. In spite of trouble finding the right word, her speech usually flowed coherently. When her speech started getting worse, that was a red flag. One day I was on the phone with her and I knew she was in the kitchen. I stayed on the line while she went to get something from the bedroom that she wanted to read to me. There's another phone extension in the bedroom, but my mother came all the way back to the kitchen to continue our phone call. I asked her why she didn't pick up the phone in the bedroom, since she was already in there. She insisted that the phone in the bedroom was a separate line--even tho I knew it wasn't. That was another red flag, not understanding how common household appliances work. One day she said to, "This is the first time you've lived on your own, isn't it?" Not quite! I was in my late 50s and had been living on my own for many years. That's when I realized she did not always understand how old I was or how old she was. One day she said she was considering allowing my brother's friend (age 55) to rent a room in her place, but she was worried there might be some romantic attraction--my mother was 80 years old with several front teeth missing at that point, but clearly she thought she was about 60. Stuff like that. A small clue is usually the tip of a much bigger iceberg.

Not being able to learn anything new (new town - always lost; new smart phone - forget it). Becoming more controlling of his wife, he even seemed reluctant to let her go out with her friends, after not even thinking about it before. (She was very social.) Step mom started having mobility issues (small strokes I think) and he was such an d**k - wouldn't let her use a walker. So she fell and got a concussion and then her dementia kick in big time. It was sucky. He's about stage 6 now - went from probably 1-2 to 6 over a period of 6 or so years. Very slow.

I couldn't tell the difference. My mother would get up at night at least 25 times a night, just to go to the bathroom. She only remembered about 3 of them. However, she could hold entire lucid conversations, complete with remembering the names and ages of the caregiver's children, talk about her travels, etc. and not remember a thing about it on the next time she got up. For awhile, I thought she was "Sybil" because you never knew which person she was going to be when she got up to go to the toilet.

The large number of times a night to go to the bathroom was thought to be a UTI. It wasn't a UTI. My Mom could sleep eat, sleep walk, sleep pee and sleep talk and only remembered a few. She used to get into arguments at night with her caregivers and sometimes not remember it at all. She'd be grumpy in the morning and have no idea why, however, the caregiver would tell me about the incident just in case she mentioned it. One time, she woke up in the middle of the argument and blamed the caregiver for waking her up.

She pretty nearly passed all the cognitive tests they gave her, even the ones that counted down from 7 and remembered 4 objects 5 minutes later. However, she could never draw a clock correctly. The problem with the tests is that we didn't have a baseline. Her drawing has always been horrible so we didn't think too much about it.

It wasn't until she went to an AL for respite care. Within 2 days, it was diagnosed as dementia instead of forgetfulness. She would ask the same questions to the staff over and over again...when is dinner, when is lunch, they would give her a snack and she would say that she never received it. They would ask her to go back to her room. She did, then was back out less than 2 minutes later.

That is when we realized that the frequent trips to the bathroom at night, were signs of dementia because she thought she needed to go to the bathroom, and her brain couldn't recognize or remember that she had just gone to the bathroom.

During those days, she could follow along with the plotline of a movie. What we didn't know was that it was movies that she saw a long time ago and saw over and over again.

So we took her to a new movie and she said it was horrible and the plot was confusing. She was very skillful in hiding her memory issues and we wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. So we never told her why the next time she was in respite, why she was in the Memory Ward.

When she got to the point where there was a puddle of liquid on the floor and she said that it wasn't hers and she had no idea where it came from, I became alarmed. However, the worst was when her bed/clothes/chair were wet and she said it wasn't her, that's was the confirmation. She knew that I'd make her change her clothes and change the bedding if it was wet, so she did her best to try and hide it. That is when I told her. Of course she called us all liars and only she knew the truth.

This from a lady who would be almost OCD about sanitation.

It was hard to know. However, in my case, I really didn't care whether it was forgetfulness or dementia or some other memory abnormality. All that mattered was figuring out what she could do by herself, what she could do with help, and what she was not capable of doing.

Good Afternoon,

With the Lewy Body I first noticed a change when mother wasn't making any eye contact when speaking to people.

The "peripheral vision" also looking back was one of the first signs. I couldn't figure out why my mother would be in a supermarket parking lot and walk behind a car that was pulling out when she had on hearings aids ($5,000) and cataract surgery.

Teepa Snow who is Occupational Therapist did a video on how some Dementia's when the peripheral vision is diminishing it's like wearing scuba diving goggles. Your loved one cannot see on either side. I know this now but looking back I couldn't figure out what was going on.

Secondly, spatial awareness. A few times my mother almost walked off of a sidewalk. Her handwriting was much small and not centered. Every person is different and with Lewy Body the Executive Functioning skills are noticeable.

Years ago, I literally told my mother pull the car over, give me the keys, you are not driving. Mother, at that time was on the blood thinner Coumadin--Warfarin now Eliquis. I had the responsibility to protect her and other people on the road. Her gage when driving behind another car was off. It would have been an accident waiting to happen.

A trip to a Geriatric Neuro Psych Doctor can assist you with testing and 6 month follow ups so you can compare any decline of if the patient is stable or thriving.

Sequencing of events were also difficult or more than one directive.

A structured routine, good nutrition, socialization, early to bed, minimal tv, good lighting are all helpful.

An Upwalker Lite is much better than the gray aluminum walkers that makes the elderly walk all hunched over. Exercise is crucial. Of course, running everything past your doctor.

Hope this helped!

I am not sure when everything started. My father has had issues his whole life.
He became more controlling of my mother, their finances and having to be in charge of everything and everyone. There is no official diagnosis yet. He has refused all medications regarding anxiety, depression and mood swings and even
pain medications for arthritis. It is not easy.
He thinks he is a family patriarch of a sorts. There were so many weirdy events that the hubs and I just thought were "him". We were at a sporting event once and he was insistent that we walk into the park in a certain order with him being first. I told my son to just go join his team. Dad was unglued. I could go on...

My husband was diagnosed in Dec. 2017. I started noticing a personality change in 2013. He just became meaner, nastier, and more controlling. At first I thought it was because I had lost weight and developed relationships via WW that did not include him and that he was jealous. Or that he was trying to sabotage my weight loss. I was in tears all the time because I couldn't stand our home life.

When seizures put him in the hospital in Dec. 2017, the nursing staff saw his aggressiveness (one nurse approached me about leaving our home and arranged for me to speak with a social worker, that's how bad he was in the hospital). When they wanted to release him, I said that I felt some testing needed to be done in view of the major change in his personality and that I was comfortable with him being released.

An MRI revealed frontotemporal damage, so one doctor told me he had Frontotemporal Disorder ("Do you know what that is?" "No, I've never heard of it." "It is one of the ways we now describe dementia.") A psychologist administered the Mini Mental State Exam (MMSE) and he scored 13 (below 17 is severe dementia). Our daughter was there to hear both diagnoses. If she hadn't been there, I'd be sure I made it all up and was the crazy one because neither his neurologist nor his pcp have addressed it other than to do one more MMSE (he scored better three months out of the hospital, 22 that time) and put him on donepizil. His pcp is planning to do a MoCA (Montreal Cognitive Assessment) at his next appointment. Honestly, my husband's health is failing rapidly (heart failure) and I'm not sure he'll make it to the next appointment.

So long answer to your question when I could have just said, "Personality change."

Another sign for my mom was not being able to read her novels anymore. She just couldn't keep track of the characters or the plot anymore. Got her some simpler books now but she rarely picks them up.

It was only when I looked back and put a bunch of "puzzle pieces" together that I suspected dementia.
You start looking back and you remember all the little things that you shrugged off as nothing at the time.
There was the slow withdrawal ..but my Husband was not one to talk on the phone, want to go out with people...
There were a few times getting lost but those were explained in several reasonable ways. One time I was with him in the car and because of snow landmarks were missed, there were other times when he "reasonably" explained something.
He was always a "saver, a collector" but then it became more, but he had a logical reason that made sense for the found objects he brought home.
Theft, that was the HUGE flag. He had owned a store for many years and for him to steal was just so unlike him. I remember it would break his heart when he found that items from his store were missing.
The most frustrating thing...our doctor. He kept pushing off my request to test him.

I have read that people diagnosed with dementia often hide signs, symptoms for sometimes 10 years before others realize there is a problem.

Isolation these past few years has done nothing but make things worse. People that may have been showing signs went un noticed because family and friends were not in contact with them. Socialization is so important for our mental and emotional health and to stop that can be detrimental.
And getting a doctors appointment is insane.

Go with your gut. If you think there is a problem get it checked. There can be lots of medical reasons for some of the things you mention. There are logical reasons for some of the things you mention.

My mom lived 12 hours away from me at the time she started to show signs. I would visit every 8 weeks. She started to lose interest in all the things she normally enjoyed, like cooking and gardening. At first we thought it was depression but quickly realized that she did not remember how to do those things.

This first sign was the inability to complete normal task.

We never received a formal diagnosis but I think she had Vascular Dementia. Symptoms can certainly be related to the area of the brain that is impaired. My mom’s memory issues and repeating questions did not come until much later.

She stayed in her home for 5 years with a hired caregiver to do tasks and then I moved her into my home for the last 5 years. She died in November. I did not notice her repeating herself until she was in my home. In her case, she would be pretty stable and decline almost overnight.

She lost short term memory first and then long term memory.

I wish that I had completed a formal diagnosis. It would not have changed the outcome but would have helped with her care and also helped with my expectations of her progression.

This forum has taught me that each dementia sufferer has a different journey. Each is unique. I wish you the best as you navigate these decisions.

For my mother, it was repeating the same question more than once in an hour. Then it became multiple times an hour. It became less of "she just forgot what I'd told her an hour ago" to "she can't even absorb what the answer to the question was."

That stopped after a while, though, and then it just progressed to her being kind of vague about things, becoming unable to carry on her side of a conversation, and most glaring, the loss of her emotions. She used to laugh at TV shows or something I'd say or cry when the music swelled up at the end of a movie, and one day I realized she wasn't reacting emotionally to anything anymore.

When she didn't shed a tear at my father's (and her soulmate's) death, I knew we'd lost her. She was more baffled than anything else.

Having incidents with a gas stove and not smelling anything burning or seeing the smoke coming out of the stove grill is NOT part of normal aging or 'silly things' at all but extremely dangerous signs of dementia that can wind up causing the house to burn down or for people to die! 😐 For you to chalk such a thing off to simple old age is to deny what's likely going on with your mother, when combined with the rest of her issues.

Here is a link from the Alzheimer's website about the 10 Signs of dementia and a fairly in depth explanation of what to look for:

https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia

This is not a hard or sensitive topic around here, it's what most of us deal with, or have dealt with, for many years with a loved one.

Get your mother tested asap with a mini MoCA or SLUMS cognizance exam and given a number score from 1-30 to see where she falls. The SLUMS is a 30-point, 11 question screening questionnaire that tests orientation, memory, attention, and executive function, with items such as animal naming, digit span, figure recognition, clock drawing and size differentiation. The measure is clinician-administered and takes approximately 7 minutes to complete.

SLUMS scores are interpreted as follows:

27 to 30: Normal in a person with a high school education.
21 to 26: Suggest a mild neurocognitive disorder.
0 to 20: Indicate dementia.

My mother scored an 18 her first test and was diagnosed with progressive dementia which was 100% accurate. Along with memory issues, she was introducing me as her mother, which alerted me to the fact she was having issues. Was she incoherent and drooling? Absolutely not. She was acting quite normal other than having issues with time and memory. Severe problems do not appear until much later on when the dementia is very advanced.

Best of luck to you.