What did you do? I work full-time and unfortunately I have custody of my mother who is 86. When my back is turned she wears the shoes that make her a fall risk and she says how’s the neighbor, go and get a coffee, when the doctors have told her no coffee. What do you do when you have a mother that acts like a 13-year-old?
So she fell, but at least she walked. Care of a determined 92 year old does not always mean finding a good answer. For me, it meant making the best choice available from a bunch of not so happy ones.
‘No matter what she has said, you may find at some point sooner or later that her needs for many kinds of care has exceeded your ability to meet them, and at that point you will have to do with love, what is best for her safety, physical welfare, and security.
Many of us have reached that painful and difficult place.
If your mother IS acting like a 13 year old girl, consider whether you’d entrust life decisions to a child that age, if you dearly loved them. Then act accordingly. In her dementia, she is losing her ability to make safe decisions for herself.
‘Making the best decisions for her is painful and difficult, but if you are acting out of love respect and concern for her, and for yourself, you will never have any reason to regret the choices you make.
What did I do, I placed Mom into a nice Assisted living near me. When her money ran out, she was placed in a LTC facility. By that time she was in the last stage of her Dementia. She paid privately for 2 months giving me time to get Medicaid set up and it started the 3rd month.
You are now the adult and Mom is the child. She no longer can reason. She suffers from short term memory loss. So isn't going to remember you told her something the next day or the next minute. And, she should not be left alone. There are ways to get help. Medicaid in home may give u an aide if Mom qualifies for the service. If I was working full-time, I would not want to be carrying for someone suffering from Dementia. Too unpredictable. I woould place her.
Yes, get rid of those shoes.
First. Remove any clothing that is not safe for her. Pants that are long, shoes with higher heels, slippery bottoms, ones that are difficult to tie, shirts with sleeves that are too long.
Pick your battles with some thing, go easy on the stuff that is not important.
What is the reason the doctor said no coffee? Is decaf acceptable? Can she have 1 cup, 2 cups or none?
If caring for her at home has gotten to the point where she is not safe your 2 options would be to hire caregivers that will monitor her closely. Or placing her in Memory Care.
But now in all seriousness, please look into having your mom placed in a facility, so she can be looked after 24/7. If she doesn't have the money, you can apply for Medicaid for her. That will be a win win, for you both. Best wishes.
Can you just take away her fall risk shoes? Looks like she'll keep wearing them if they're available.
Does she live with you? But your work full-time and therefore are gone 40+ hours a week?