NNot a question but asking for an opinion…
Visiting a family member after placement is something facilities frown on but my opinion is that they're wrong and non-patients need to say so.
I really think visiting should be allowed since family members can always say “we’re going to the store/work/ whatever and will be back later” and come back the next day etc.
You can help put clothes or familiar things away, “have coffee” in the dining room etc.
You can join the patient for a short visit each day as you usually would or especially during this new transition period and help they settle in so it’s a gradual process and everyone is more comfortable.
It’s often hard enough to take someone to a facility and leave even if you're coming back soon without feeling that you're abandoning them even for a week.
I really think this needs to change.
What do other people think?
I’m sorry if this is in the wrong category. I can’t figure out the best one
Many times a person will not acclimate to LTC if their family is showing up every day or taking phone calls every ten minutes in the beginning. Often times the person convinces themselves that if they cry, manipulate, guilt-trip, throw enough tantrums, and demand to be taken home, their family will be worn down by them and will give in. If it's memory care, definitely the person will not acclimate if the family doesn't stay away for a few weeks in the beginning.
When family doesn't show up for a while, this gives the person a better chance to acclimate to their new environment because they are not going home. The LTC facility they're in is their home. They will not allow themselves to acclimate to their new life and to form new relationships if their families are always around.
Then you get the people who go into AL and are fine with being there. They enjoy not being alone and they form new relationships with other residents. These people are usually fine when family visits and are also fine when they go home.
It depends on the person.
So being that their routine is being very disrupted when being placed, it makes great sense to me to allow the facility and your loved one time to adjust to each other so a new routine can be started.
A person placed in a facility needs to begin to rely on the staff and not family for basic needs.
If you come in daily and do things to "help" your LO may not begin to trust and rely on staff.
ONCE that transition is done and your LO is adjusted then visit all you want. BUT be a visitor do not Change a brief, change clothing, if things need to be done request that the staff do those tasks.
This is also a safety measure. The facility does not want either you or the resident injured.
This is a recommendation and they recommend it because they feel that over time it has proven to help with adjustment.
As they say, we can make statistics say about anything we want them to say, so who knows.
If you are uncomfortable with this tell the administration why and I am certain you can come to some agreement of how this would work best in your case. Nothing in this realm is set in stone in most cases.
If family keeps visiting day after day, then the family would be always interrupting that person. The love one would be saying no to community activities, to physical therapy, and not learning a routine because family will be visiting. Then that makes it hard on the Staff.
It is best to do what the Staff recommends. They have been at this a very long time and knows what works and what doesn't.
My Mom, adjusted with no problem. Not everyone does.