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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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When I try to change him he grips on to his clothes with unbelievable strength. It is impossible to pull the clothes away. It can take 45 minutes to an hour to finally remove his clothing. Please, any suggestions ?
I've seen one of Teepa Snow's videos about dealing with Lewy Body Dementia in which the patient does just the opposite of what is being asked. "Open your mouth, honey, so I can help you brush your teeth" and the mouth is clamped tightly shut. "Lean toward me and I'll help you up" and the patient leans back as far as he can.
These are not deliberate opposition. They are the brain scrambling the message. Hmmm. It may help to just know this. Also less talking about what to do and more reliance on muscle memory. Instead of saying "open your mouth" gently direct the tooth brush toward the mouth -- the mouth will know what to do.
When my son helped my husband up from a sitting position he would stand directly in front of him and say "Give me a hug, Dad." And hubby would automatically lean forward and reach out his hands, allowing Son to work with him. Saying "lean forward and grab for me" was just too complicated. "Hug me" evoked an automated response.
Perhaps a search would let you view that particular video.
My husband also went to a day program. It got harder and harder (for both of us) to be ready when the van arrived. I arranged for him to start an hour later and stay a little longer. Much better all the way around.
Random suggestions; Make sure the room is warm (maybe hot) so that he doesn't feel the cold air as a shock. Maybe try filling his hands with something else (a towel?) before removing anything, and remove the clothes SLOWLY. Maybe sleep in a hospital gown, sweats or other easy-to-remove garment? Cover privates with a towel so he doesn't feel exposed (get lots and lots inexpensive white hand towels for cleaning up -- you can find them in 12 packs at Costco).
Lion, I think I know the stiffness you're talking about. My father would stiffen his body when he fell. I couldn't even sit him up because his abdominals would lock in place. One time when he fell in the middle of the night, we tried to get him back in bed. He pushed back and held onto blankets, rather than helping. It was almost impossible and I swore to never do that again.
My father had mixed dementia. I don't think that he was opposing being helped. I think that he didn't know what to do and locked his muscles. It may be the same with your husband. He doesn't understand completely what is being done, though he goes through it often. My only suggestion would be to get him ready the night before if his clothes would stay clean enough. Then he would be almost ready to go when he first woke. Of course, if he has to be changed in the morning, this wouldn't work.
Lion65 - OK, I'm sorry my input didn't match. My dad does not go to adult daycare - (he should, but refuses) and I can see that it is beneficial. So - obviously he needs to get dressed to go, or to be changed. My dad is not yet fighting dressing/changing - but others on this forum will no doubt have some good advice for you. You have a lot to handle caring for your husband - take care of yourself too.
Three days a week he goes to adult daycare which I feel is very beneficial for him. I also have this every time he needs to be changed. I also don't feel comfortable going to bed if he is up. I do appreciate your input.
My step mom goes through this with my dad. Is there a reason he has to get up? My dad sleeps until lunch time then is cooperative - he has to get changed to have lunch. Of course, he stays up later at night but my step mom just goes to bed. is it possible to let him drive the schedule somewhat instead of having a fight with him? Good luck to you
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
These are not deliberate opposition. They are the brain scrambling the message. Hmmm. It may help to just know this. Also less talking about what to do and more reliance on muscle memory. Instead of saying "open your mouth" gently direct the tooth brush toward the mouth -- the mouth will know what to do.
When my son helped my husband up from a sitting position he would stand directly in front of him and say "Give me a hug, Dad." And hubby would automatically lean forward and reach out his hands, allowing Son to work with him. Saying "lean forward and grab for me" was just too complicated. "Hug me" evoked an automated response.
Perhaps a search would let you view that particular video.
My husband also went to a day program. It got harder and harder (for both of us) to be ready when the van arrived. I arranged for him to start an hour later and stay a little longer. Much better all the way around.
Make sure the room is warm (maybe hot) so that he doesn't feel the cold air as a shock.
Maybe try filling his hands with something else (a towel?) before removing anything, and remove the clothes SLOWLY.
Maybe sleep in a hospital gown, sweats or other easy-to-remove garment?
Cover privates with a towel so he doesn't feel exposed (get lots and lots inexpensive white hand towels for cleaning up -- you can find them in 12 packs at Costco).
My father had mixed dementia. I don't think that he was opposing being helped. I think that he didn't know what to do and locked his muscles. It may be the same with your husband. He doesn't understand completely what is being done, though he goes through it often. My only suggestion would be to get him ready the night before if his clothes would stay clean enough. Then he would be almost ready to go when he first woke. Of course, if he has to be changed in the morning, this wouldn't work.