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It's not easy to travel with someone in this condition, nor advisable.
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Babs75; wow they really have no clue how hard it can be to do this road trip why dont they all come visit your dad then the neices and nephews and your sister can witness the decline 1st hand look I do not know your exact situation but Id say HELL NO !! its too exhausting for him !! He acts like he wants to go but in all reality dad probly dont know how draining a long trip can be, we took my mother to see her sister 5 hour drive 1 way when we returned my mom went into conjestive heart failure again so no you are NOT being selfish actually you are a very selfless person so for your own good and your dads just say NO!! The family has to travel to see him hes tooooo frail for a long trip NoNo No just say No please do not torture yourself or your dad !!and tell the family to STOP PUTTING The Idea in his head!!! Tell the family dads tooo sick for long trips anymore ! GOOD LUCK
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Sounds like you are getting some excellent answers and suggestions here! My comment is simply 1. Trust your instincts, and 2. By all means check with your dad's doctor. That way you're not the "bad guy" in this scenario. Tell the doctor your concerns. He or she is sure to back you up, and then you can tell the relatives that although you would love to come, you can't do it against doctor's orders and risk dad's health. Then make some of these alternative arrangements such as the relatives coming your direction or (better!) a Skype visit or such. Best wishes to you, and blessings for taking such good care of your Dad and wanting what is best for him.
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Babs75 Jan 2019
I suspect his geriatric psych will back me up. She is the same person that told me anytime I need a letter written to state that he should be moved to assisted living to let her know (based on stipulations in the guardianship, I can't move him without the written recommendation from a physician.) We're not quite there yet, but it's always good to have that in my back pocket......
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Babs, so now you have read the comments, what are you going to do?
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Babs75 Jan 2019
I put a call into his geriatric psych today but haven't heard from her yet.

UPDATE: As I was typing in this website, she called me back. No, she does not recommend a trip like that for him. She said it would be too much. He is not going to understand so I don't think I'll bring it up to him unless he asks again-sometimes he forgets. I also asked her about an official diagnosis for him as she's never really said. "Mixed dementia". A bit of this, a bit of that, I guess.
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Babs75 - you said "He is not going to understand so I don't think I'll bring it up to him unless he asks again-sometimes he forgets."

Definitely don't offer anything, but if he brings it up, what I find works well (may not always work for everyone or all the time, but worth a try) is reply with something like 'tomorrow' or 'next week' or 'soon', not today...

When I have done that, mom will say OK, and then it is forgotten. She does not live with me, so I would not get a questions like that all the time, only when I visit, but generally they have no sense of time and short-term memory loss will help them forget... for a bit... easier to defer than argue or try to explain anything...
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Drove 91 years old dad in early stages of dementia with diabetes and leg problems from Orlando to Maryland. Made sure car was comfortable and we stopped when he needed a break, Which was less often than we thought. Depends are a must. 4-6 hr. drive's Can actually be pleasant and will give you and your father and your family a final memory you will never regret. Have the care giver prepare your father as my just possible and see if you can arrange for a care giver on the other end. Insist on separate rooms and with the Internet nowadays you can get very good deals. Confirm that your family will pick him up half way. Assured that a care giver will be there on the other end should assuage your concerns. Always advisable to speak to doctors ahead of time. Good idea for you to make a list of things for your family to know about your dad like whether he sundowns or how to calm him Down. Music he loves like the big band series or Frank Sinatra can be played in the car and there as it's been proven to really calm and please Alzheimer's patients. Once you have things arranged, Take a positive outlook on how this could benefit everyone. I can tell you what an amazing experience it was for everyone that my father was present with his And the bride's family. Wishing you all the best and this is your decision to make. Think about how you want to look back on this years from now.
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The adult nieces and nephews need to be informed and they are the ones that need to do the traveling at this point.

Make it fun. Schedule a weekend with 'uncle' for some point in the near future.

You're jumping through too many hoops and driving yourself crazy. Come up with the easiest way to get this done.

You might start a yearly family reunion if all goes well.
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Jasmina hit the nail on the head when she said: "I think family members who havent seen the elderly person in a long time, remember them as they used to be years ago. Not how they are now. They have no concept of the changes."

They likely have no concept of his current illness state and confusion.

It would not be 'safe' for him to make such an extended trip. Just because your father is asking to go does not mean that he SHOULD make such a trip. Elderly persons tend to overestimate their own abilities and see themselves as they "used" to be when they were in their middle-aged prime.
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Llamalover47 Jan 2019
dragonflower: You're spot on! One time my late mother said "You think I will just keep going along" (not aging). No, I was most certainly not that naive.
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