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Joy135, I'm thankful for this site. It really makes me feel less alone in what we're going through.

My other issue is that my Mom gets MAD when you try to clean up her tissues. She'll cry out that "Those are clean!" "I need those!" And while it's unsightly, I don't want to make her angry or depressed. On one hand, it's not the end of the world... (She hasn't clogged any toilets yet so that's a plus... But my brother has complained that he once spent a FORTUNE resupplying her paper towel addiction for months.)

I wonder if I can reason with her and just provide a stack of washable towels I can just throw into the wash weekly. Perhaps there's a place I can just order a bunch for a $1 each or something? (IKEA maybe?)

This is tough!! Everyone here has my sympathy & love.
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lidodeen, I am so glad you commented on this because it made it show up in the Ask a Question section even though it is an old thread. My mother is the same way! I didn't know it was a "thing" for so many folks! That woman speeds through tissues and paper towels, and I am constantly cleaning out her purse and finding used, rinsed out paper towels hung up everywhere to dry.
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This is my Mom! She hoards sheets of paper towels and toilet paper, folds them and keeps them piled up in her room, in the bathroom, in her clothes and on her wheelchair. It's nuts! She's moving in with me soon so I have to hide my tissues/rolls behind locked doors or she's going to take and use them all. I'm at a loss.

She'll use the paper towel sheets like napkins throughout the day. It just creates so much waste. I HOPE I can just give her a fresh face-towel daily and that will keep her happy.
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Please...I learned the hard way, don't sweat the small stuff
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I'm in the tissue/TP club also my husband stuffs his pockets so full I can hardly get them out at night. 6 months ago I started recycling them we he goes to sleep I empty his pants pockets just bag them up and deposit them into a small napkin holder box and he again folds each one and starts on the pockets again. After a couple of go arounds I give him a new box. Can't beat 'em might as well join the fun.
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And there is the paper lint on all the laundry,, because you missed one!
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Omg I am soooo happy that im not the only one. We empty 2-3 waste baskets per day, her pockets are spilling over and I used to FLIP OUT over it. Now I just remind myself over and over....IT COULD BE DOWN THE DRAIN, and we could have clogs DAILY...so I try to get past the enviromental sadness of all those poor trees, and I just empty them.
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Now my husband has joined the group. he loves to get a new big box of tissues. He will sit and pull each one out. He said he was checking them to see if they are okay. He put water in them for awhile. Now he says he isn't going to do that anymore??????? He also loves to get into the waste paper can in the living room by his chair. I just keep it empty now. He threw my new glasses away last week he said he didn't want them on the stool. Today he took the top off of his razor and put it somewhere? I had to go to Walmart anget another one for $28.00. thank GOD they had Braun. What next? I can't leave him for a minute.
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I'm surprised in 121 replies, only two people mentioned a toilet seat bidet. They are very helpful for the elderly and caregivers. We are in a retirement area and have been seeing a lot of customers come in that are 80+ years old.
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This seems to be a common fixation that goes away eventually when the dementia progresses. I learned always to check all pockets before laundry. The myriad of folded potty and tissue paper I just quietly saved and used myself or for the car where I just 'happened to find' some paper in my purse when he needed it. It is especially annoying in restaurants where we always have to ask for extra napkins. My husband now uses the same one over and over, dirty or not, and stuffs the extra ones in his breast pocket. Hugs to you!
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I should have stock in Klenex tissues. Any suggestion for husband that goes through a box a day, sometimes not using just folding neatly & filling every pocket, same with napkins when we are out. I tried putting the unused back into the box but he knows, and will never use the same tissue twice, " I'm not going to use someone else's tissue"
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I have the opposite problem. My 89 year old mother who has dementia, doesn't use enough toilet paper and therefore does not wipe herself properly and makes a mess of things. Her colitis has recently flared up so this is a big concern.. I thought of taking away her toilet paper and substitute a different product that is larger. We tried the wet wipes, but she refused to use them just for urination. Any suggestions? Product must be flushable.
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My Mom has a paper problem, but not quite like these others. My Mom has her own bathroom in my house, right off her bedroom. She keeps at least 3 extra rolls of toilet paper on the toilet, some neatly folded toilet paper on the window sill, along with at least 2 -3 boxes of tissues. She has several boxes of tissues in her bedroom, at least one on each piece of furniture & others in some of the drawers. She even sleeps with tissue under her head at night. I guess she's afraid she's going to run out of it!
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Mom loved paper. She would fiddle with a napkin or letter until it was just limp from wear.
I think hers was a nervous thing. Just needed to do something with her hands.
Caring for Dad now in my home and he won't use enough TP for my likes. He rations it like it is a dollar a sheet.
But then he also squirrels away tissues in his pockets like it is the last one, so better keep it and they go in his pockets and disintegrate in the laundry. He comes from a generation where you throw nothing away. Use everything until it is worn out or broken, then have it repaired or patched up.
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My mother-in-law would not only go through kleenex, toilet paper but also paper towels. I just considered it something I had to get used to...great ideas from all of the above.
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Two ideas.. For the smells, try vinegar. Urine has ammonia which is alkaline and try to neutralize that with the acidity of vinegar. You can put it in a spray bottle and spray the air or put or bowls of vinegar to absorb odors. The vinegar smell dissipates. Also it's not dangerous if it gets touched or ingested. Second, try substituting something else for keeping the hands busy. Instead of tearing up tissues, could you get their help in recycling yesterday's newspaper? See if they could "help the animals at the shelter by tearing up the paper into strips so it can be used for the poor animals bedding or litter boxes". They can put the strips in a large garbage bag which you can then recycle or "take to the shelter or vets office". If anyone tries this let us know how it works out.
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Yes, have that problem too!
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I dont know. I think you may be right. Mommy is always so sweet now and laughs at everything too. That's sad, gosh now you got me thinking. She gets confused a lot now and tries to pretend she just forgot for a minute. She wants to laugh with us and never think we would laugh at her. We all love her and respect her. I am so thankful she is pleasant now. Sometimes I need to tell her 4 or 5 times before she gets it. Sometimes she will shake her head yes and look at me really weird with a half smile on her face. Wonder what will happen next? Two of my daughters watched her for me yesterday from 1:00pm til 11:20am this morning. They said gosh Mom you made it easy with all your instructions but we are both tired. You nesd a brake Mom! I had to take my husband to sleep apnea test in Gainesville, FL. Because of sundowners I had to spend the night with him.
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My mother keeps her bedside radio on a talk radio station all night. She says it helps her keep her mind off 'things' & helps her go back to sleep. Her dad was a radio & tv junkie with some type of sports going on both in the same room. I think some people have difficulty with their inner thoughts or need the distraction from fears when getting older. Or can't handle quiet & need noise.
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my father also moans lightly when lying down (he says he is resting his eyes cause he can never sleep......even though we hear him snore). But my father also likes to have noise around him. I have went to their house to find a radio on in the kitchen, the tv on in living room but also a radio turned down low so you only here a hum, and then another radio on in bedroom. I think in his growing up years as a child felt like he was abanded or something cause he doesn't like silence. and heaven forbid if mom goes outside to look at flowers, she hears him in house yelling where are you.
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College, you said your Mom just laughs when you ask her what is the matter. My Mom laughs at everything. I wondered if it is because they have NO idea what you are saying or mean or it is just a habit to laugh. My Mom laughs at everything! Just wondering?!
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I don't know why they do it but my Mother does the moaning and groaning thing too. Iy makes me have anxiety when now I know nothing is wrong with her. I ask her if she is in pain or what is the matter with her and then she laughs..
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Luv it tryinghard54. I was JUST thinking about my own mother and her 'absent-minded' moaning/groaning. We just had two full days of company for mother's day and birthday. It was wonderful for her with all the family and she had a great visit. But as soon as house goes back to normal she is back to the moan thing again---out load, all day where I hear it. I usually go in my room and turn on music or tv to drown it out. She, like your mom, doesn't even realize she does it but it is annoying and depressing.
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We have tissue stuffed everywhere, my Mother constantly wipes her eyes, nose, mouth, How she doesn't succumb to infection is beyond me!. Toilet rolls are stuffed in her drawers and if we run out, we always know where to find some! . All day long, she moans " Oh God," " Oh God", when I say " is something wrong?" she says she doesn't know she's doing it. From the moment she wakes up till the moment she goes to bed she moans and whimpers, it is extremely irritating and she expects me wait on her hand and foot, even though she is capable of making a sandwich, or a cup of tea!. I'm moaning again aren't I! ?
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Not sure where the Kleenex/TP fascination comes from, but my folks have it too. Mom and Dad both have dementia. Every day, as soon as she gets up, Mom takes 5 Kleenex, folds them up into little squares and puts them in the pocket of her robe. Every day. Exactly 5. She has a constant clear fluid drip from her nose, so she keeps them to wipe her nose.

Dad uses LOTS of TP. We called the plumber about every six weeks to clean out the drains. He said DO NOT use "flushable wipes" as they are not really flushable, and do not disintegrate. As for the TP, since Dad insists on using so much, we stock his bathroom with the cheapest TP we can get that is safe for a septic system.
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My Mother does the same things with tissue, paper towels and toilet paper. I am so happy to hear these things. I thought she was weird. Now she sounds like the rest. I can handle this! Thank you all so much!
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my message goes to chloesgram...she is NOT doing this to be spiteful...it sounds like she doesn't have anything to do with her hands and thats why she is a "napkin/kleenex refolder"...i learned early on to ask her "WHY ARE YOU FOLDING THIS KLEENEX.......ARE YOU WORRIED IT WILL GET DIRTY? OR WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER?".......TALK ABOUT IT TO HER!! LET HER ANSWER!.... give her a bag of peas to shell, a bucket of green beans to snap, labels to put on envelopes, stamps on cards, anything to keep her hands busy......it will help......also, i constantly tell my mom the time of day,from the moment she wakes up til the time she goes to bed......remember, she probably can't remember what time of the day it is.....softly tell her, its 6 0'clock , time for the news , then dinner, then bedtime at 9 or whatever your schedule ...i think you will be surprized how much this helps .......our parents need a schedule too......it helps so much to have a routine.......before i did this with my mom, it was difficult getting her to go to bed....now she understands, its time to go to bed at nine and time to get up at eight......i say it the same way everytime.....especcially with her hearing loss this helps.....
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And chloesgrams2012 it seems you have enough on your plate without having to be an alarm clock for two capable adults. Have you talked to your husband & daughter to see if they could get friends or co-workers to help them out on that issue? Keep posting & checking this site. It is a lifesaver for me, thanks to everyone who contributes!
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I have been using Clorox Cleenup in a spray bottle to clean the raised toilet seat & around the toilet & that seems to help with the strong urine odor. Have to be very careful to rinse well, tho. My problem lately has been bm odors as my mother refuses (or forgets) to use the exhaust fan & that travels. She wants to use cover up sprays which imo are worse! rhondalo222 I am with you on warmer weather & getting fresh air!
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Rhondalo222, I feel for you. I am glad I am not by myself, but would not wish this on anyone. It is almost to the point where I do not want to go check the bathroom for fear of what I will find.........As I type, it is almost midnight and my Mom is setting in her chair rattling a potato chip bag and eating chips. For the previous 3 hrs she has shuffled and rustled the Sunday paper scrunching and crunching the ad inserts! I am about to go stark raving crazy, I am soooo tired!.......I am beginning to think it is an obsession with ALL paper kleenex, toilet, newspaper and especially the rattly kind that can drive you crazy!!........I go through quiet a bit of room deodorizer, also, but it is also just about as bad mixing it with the pee smell!!......I have absolutely NOone to confide in or vent to. My husband works out of town 5-6 days a week and we are just very thankful he has a job. Plus, he doesn't have to put up with what I go through and my daughter is a PA at the ER of our local hospital and stays extremely busy. I call both of them to make sure their clocks and phones have went off to get up and they both wait for me to call knowing we have to hit the floor now. I have been being late in doing this and I am not happy because I have always been on a schedule and on time. She is wearing me out! Thanks for listening. It helps to talk.
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