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In all honesty there is no way of getting around her becoming upset, it will happen no matter what. When we have to begin being parents to our parents, we do not want them to become angry with us, we want to be nice and them be compliant.....for the most part it does not happen, you wind up having to be firm and stand your ground!

God Bless You, this is never easy!
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Summer, your father would be doing battle with the DMV, not you and the doctor.
In NY, the driver eval and road test are done by the state. If the state is dumb enough to pass him and he's in an accident, you and the MD are protected and the victims can sue the state DMV.
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Summer123, I can empathize with your situation. Driving is not a right. It is a privilege. Is he and others at risk for injury or death if he is allowed to drive? That's what needs to be determined. Your local police can advise you, and then it's out of your hands.
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What you MUST keep in mind is: 1. Is the general public safe when he's driving. 2. Is there a possibility he may get lost and not find his way back. 3. Can your conscience be intact if you knew he injured or killed someone while driving when he could have been prevented form doing this damage!
I say no, you shouldn't be able to pass off the blame to him if he is mentally incapacitated. It should be on the hands of the familial caretaker.
My mother hired an attorney when this happened and the judge ended up granting guardianship to the two daughters and declaired her incapacatated giving us the right to remove the car.
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My mother who is 83 still maintains her license, but is too afraid to drive a newer replacement car she bought. She bought this newer car without test driving it thinking she will slowly get use to it. It has been just sitting in her driveway for three weeks registered and insured. Now she wants to sell it for less than she paid for it. What irritates me is she made this purchase without thinking it through or asking for my opinion like she usually does. Now she wants me to help her sell the car and take care of taking her to the insurance company to cancel the insurance and registration. What is it with the elderly who want to continue making decisions without accepting the responsibility that comes with it ????????????????
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Debralee, we are once an adult and twice a child. Be thankful she is giving it up on her own and not driving through a storefront. We had to take Mom's car away in May, and after three MD's told her not to drive, she has finally agreed to sell it.
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I am a caretaker who is also in the process of not driving because of a neurological condition. And for me it has been a process. First I gave up long distance driving and driving at night. Then I gave up freeway driving, and taking my grandchildren places. Now I only drive a few blocks around my house to the grocery store, and to the senior center. If you want to encourage your family member to give up driving, help them to find an alternative. For example: I have a list of friends who will give me a ride; I can ask my children for a ride; there is a handicap transport bus which takes me to my doctors appointments for five dollars one-way; there is a community care car which will take me places in my little town for four dollars one-way; there is the regularly scheduled bus that stops two blocks from my house; and I can either write my big new tricycle or walk if it's a mile or less, and I'm having a good day. For fun, shopping trips, or should order groceries,there's always the Internet. for nice long visits, there is Skype, e-mail, snail mail, and phone calls.. Do everything you can to encourage viewing not driving as an adventure, a problem to be solved. Giving up driving is not a humiliation, a comment on deterioration, or a punishment.spend a few minutes imagining what it would be like if you were suddenly deprived of the privilege of driving Be empathetic when you discuss the matter.Work together to make a list of the places your parent usually frequents, and make a list of alternative ways to get there.
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I have an update on having my mom's driver's license suspended. Folks on here told me se would forgive me. The good news is she has just as people told me on these forums! I also recently had to ask her to stop cooking. Cooking and baking was my mom's favorite thing to do. But she would start cooking and completely forget she was cooking. I don't always know when she cooks so we have burned many pots. I asked her not to cook any more because it was dangerous. To my surprise she agreed! I was glad I didn't have to remove the knobs from the stove - that felt like it would be degrading. The only downside is now I have to cook for a very picky eater while I am in a weight loss program. It is worth it to keep us safe! I hope your situation ends as good as mine.
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Take her to the DMV or Secretary of State and they have someone to test older driving skills. Let them break the bad news and you can remain the emotional support to help them through this loss.
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My father is 85 and healthy except for macular degeneration and is hard of hearing. He has always been the provider, and is very proud. He drives to the gym each day and to the store, and Doctor appointments. We are willing to help with errands are bi weekly outings. When the topic comes up he tends to get upset and defensive. We love and respect him dearly, what else can we do. I don't want to trick him or be dishonest in any way. Loving Daughter
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