Am the sole care giver to my 97 y/o mother and only child. Advised I need a knee replacement "asap". My wife recently passed with cancer. I have examined local asst. living sites, that would allow her to stay as a respite status....NOT full time. One center was used by close friends who had positive experiences. I have friends who encourage the surgery, but no "I" am the one wearing the black hat...any suggestions....I can forgo the surgery and who knows (not getting younger" suggestions appreciated...Thanks
Remember that your mother's life is not the only life that's important here, and her care is not the only care that matters. As only children, you and I can get caught up in that silly mindset sometimes. But the truth is, OUR lives are JUST as important as THEIR lives. I needed a hip replacement and neck fusion surgery when my parents were alive and of course I had it. There was never any question in my mind that those surgeries were necessary for my well being and if I didn't have that neck surgery stat, I faced the possibility of paralysis.
Your knee replacement surgery is just as important to your well being. Your mother is a big girl and will be just FINE in AL for however long she needs to stay there, and she'll have lots of other elders her age to talk to and complain to about all sorts of things. That's what they DO: they kvetch to one another about the food and the serving sizes and one another.......the gossip is endless! Put all your fears to rest and focus on YOURSELF for a change while others see to your mother and her needs. You deserve to.
Best of luck with your surgery and the recovery process.
Respite exists for many reasons, taking few weeks for yourself with or without surgery would be recommended so is 2 weeks or a month for nice vacation.