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Book the cruise and have fun. If BJ is a responsible adult then go on the cruise and tell her only call you if its life or death. Otherwise, don't check in or worry. Get cruise insurance just in case something happens at the last minute. I love to travel as well and often took my mom on vacations with me. Now I don't know if we could manage that anymore but now I can't leave her overnight so no more girls weekends with friends for now. I am an only child and there are no other relatives that can stay with her so its just me. Be greatful that BJ can handle it and go enjoy yourself while you can. Life is short and you need to live it while you and your husband are still healthy. Trust me, if the positions were reversed, sounds like your mom would go on vacation and leave you under the care of BJ. LOL. Have fun and don't worry. If anything happens, it would have happened whether you were there or not. Twelve days will speed by and you'll be thinking OMG its over already.
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I would arrange for a "friendly" visitor who will check on and take care of whatever needs should arise while you are away.
Your mother is more dependent on you and fearful of something happening than you realize.
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Look up Narcissistic personality disorder, call the travel agent, and get on the next plane to somewhere else.

My mom pulled this crap with me when it was time to go to camp, college, or out with friends. So I married a guy 1800 miles away, selfishly had two children, a career, and even went to Germany in the past 19 years.

She kept threatening to do "something" at every turn. She has every condition in the medical manual, especially hypochondria.

The answer to what if something happens while you are away is that you can check her into a nursing home for the duration, but she will have to pay for it.

The answer to what if I die is that you'll throw one heck of a wake and funeral. What kind of keg do you want us to get mom? You can't take these things she says seriously because it's just to control you. Only you can live your life.
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