My mother passed away 6 months ago and put both my sister and myself as executor to her estate. Being that I live in another state I relinquished my executor role and let her and her husband be sole executor. Finally after 8 months of waiting for our inheritance we were given most of the money and that worked out well, but the problem is that there was one investment that they told me I was sharing 50/50 benificiary with them. They sent me the bank paper that I needed to sign to release the funds and they put my sister and my joint account on that document. I sensed they were hiding something and I called the bank only to find out I am the benificiary 100 percent. I called them on it and since then they have tried every tactic to justify it including telling me they have rights to it, they deserve it. My sister has gone from being angry screaming I dont trust them to the next day crying saying she has been carrying the load for years in the family. Then now they are saying they need to keep that money to pay taxes next year on the money we received. I mostly hate the manipulation and deceit they are displaying. Now my husband and I are fighting because my sister has bullied me into agreeing about the holding onto that tax money. My husband wants me to tell them where to go and to not give the a cent. Up until now I had a very close relationship with my sister and brother in law.. I feel my sister has ruined our family for a very long time. I dont think I can every feel comfortable again around them because of how manipulative they have been. My sister did do a lot for my mother as I moved away 18 years ago from them but my mother was independent and maintained her own home. She took care of me when I was ill for 8 months in her home and didnt charge me a cent. I can't forget that she was so good to me but that doesn't justify their behavior. I am tired of being a doormat but somehow I let myself be talked into signing that paper with our joint account and I sent it to them.
Ask yourself a question: IF Your Sis Came To You To Ask For Money, Would You Give It To Her? She may NOT Be lying if she hasn't a track record of being a liar. Maybe she misunderstood advice from friends or something.
Ask a GOOD Attorney to mediate between you two. Discuss as a situation to be taken care of NOT a Scheme With Anyone Betraying You. Keep Both Hubbys Outta It. If You sisters work it out, they'll get over themselves......Your Mother Obviously Thought Her Daughters Could Handle It. Prove Her Right. YOU Have YEARS Before this, and Pray God, Years More To Go. BE The Good Friends You've Up Until Now Been
There must be some compromise you can work on with this that is acceptable to both families.
Your sister doesn't need more money to pay taxes. She herself will pay NO taxes on any of the money. Taxes are paid out of the INHERITANCE not one's own pocket.
Sorry, but your husband is right. And your sister is lying.
My whole life as far back as I remember my parents always discussed being fair, they told me since I was little all that they had would be divided equally between the sibilings.
I also remember while growing up my brother was never really arround, and my sister was arround but was always negative towards me. Some family members my aunt used to say she never wanted siblings. She alawys complanied about how spoiled I was, and how mom and dad ignored her kids.....(Im the same age as her childrern.)
My parents were in their 80's both with dementia by the time I was in my 30's. I spent the better part (all) of my 30's raising my own kids, and taking care of my parents, I would do it all over again regardless.
Anyway after their deaths, I only receieved the cash divided between the 3 siblings. I called my sister executor regarding my parents home, and orther properties that they owned. She informed me that the properties were and are all hers as she did all the work and deserved it anyway ... She also informed me I couldnt do anything about it due to her name being on the title. (I found out she had taken a lawyer to visit my parents when they were starting to become confused but not yet legaly incompitent, and she had them sign over all their property to her.) When I saw a lawyer about this (elder abuse) she said there is nothing I can do. My so called older sister screwed me and my brother in more ways they one. She also screwed my trusting elderly parents and its all legal......
Can she sell the house in louisiana if he has usufracrt ??? He is about to confront her that he is moving back in and she is receiving rent the mother has been deceased for 6 weeks..... Help!!
My sister is the executor of our mom's will and let me tell you she has done a lousy job. I was forced to hire a lawyer to make her do her legal duty. Mom's been gone 2 yrs and we haven't even scratched the surface of this mess.
Please don't let your sister and b-i-l get away with this. I'll bet your mom would tell you the same thing.
You certainly need a lawyer's advice before your sister takes something that she is not due. Even if you just let it go and she gets more, can you honestly put this away and not let it affect you relationship? I feel probably not.
As for paying taxes on the inheritance, I don't know all state laws but in the state I live in there is no tax on inheritance and no federal tax up to 5 million. If you are dealing with that amount, your certainly need a lawyer.
How do I know, my husband inherited a sizable amount from his mother. His brother was executor and there was foot draggery but not with any intent to take more than his share. he just procrastinates. No taxes due on my husband's part. Many states did away with inheritance tax or it is very low.
Like I said, Get a Lawyer!
Each state has regulations on the percentage of the estate an executor can be paid for performing their duites. Unless the person making their will puts a set amount of payment the executor receives, the amount of money the executor is entitled to can be enormous. Part of not being a doormat is addressing the issue. Telling your sister when you signed over the executorship to her you didn't sign up for her manipulating you and taking what is rightfully yours. She was being deceitful. You sound like you have great intuition. By calling the bank you were able to find out the real deal.
Your sister lived closer to your mother and therefore no doubt contributed greatly to her care even if your mother was "independent" and seemed, from your distance, to maintain her house on her own. You know, many people (including me) think it isn't fair that one sibling does most of the caregiving and all the siblings expect to share equally in the estate. There are far better ways of addressing this inequity than the caregiver being deceiptful after the parent's death. But I can sympathize with the attitude that "I deserve a little more. I did more." I don't condone cheating to get it ... but, are you willing to give up your relationship with your sister over this? Can you forgive her? It is really your choice now. Your sister made choices about her behavior. She didn't do a very honorable job on one aspect, in my opinion. Now you have choices to make. You've already decided to let her have the money. Now you can decide about your relationship going forward.
And ... since you've given up the money, how are you resolving the issues this causes with your husband?
Perhaps some family counseling would be in order here.