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Ativan, was given to me to help me sleep and yes they can give a person too much of it. It makes you sleep. Ativan (lorazepam) they are one in the same.
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I agree that Hospice can do so much more. I am a Private Care Giver and work with Hospice quite often. They can help on so many levels and more one on one care than a being one of many residents of a facility.

I will keep you and you Mom in my thoughts and prayers!
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my 85 yr old father-in-law is diagnosed with end stage copd and prostate cancer, he was put in hospice in october, the nurse said he would not be here for christmas, and then on december, a nurse told us he will not make it thru the weekend.he is still with us and all his family is telling him to fight and he will get better, is that wrong?i worry that his oldest daughter is blocking it so much, that she will be the one who will take it the worse.i have been thru the hospice thing with my own mother back in 2002, the nurse then told all of us that they will stay and suffer until we tell them that it is ok to let go, is that true.i would like to know the signs of his body wanting to let go, if anyone knows, please tell me.
steve
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My mother (I've posted about her in other discussions so I'm not going to go into detail here) would not appear at first pass to be a hospice candidate. But I asked for an evaluation anyway. And she has been accepted into hospice. The care has been much better at the nursing home since then (Dec. 2). More visitors, including nurses and aids and social workers, see her and make sure she has what she needs. I am an only child and can't visit more than two or three times a week because of work and my own family's needs. Hospice has been wonderful in getting a new and better wheelchair and carries some of the cost burdens due to her diagnosed illness (vascular disease, which has caused extreme dementia and decline). It does not hurt to have hospice evaluate sooner rather than later. If they say, no not yet, that tells you something. If they say, yes, well, then you can decide whether to enroll. Either way is a benefit. I think many people misunderstand hospice care. I would not hesitate to advise calling them in for an evaluation. Thanks for posting the question. I like all the answers here.
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I love Hospice but when I send my husband for the five nights, he comes home with urinary infection. It has happened three times out of four. They don't get the care they get at home. They give you anything you need to take care of your loved one. I found sending them there to give me a chance to get some rest, I pay for it when he comes home because he is running a temp and has an infection. One night I was up until 4:30am watching him.
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Hospice is a WONDERFUL idea. I'm sure the NH you have him in sees to his needs, but hospice can do extra things that can make it easier on you in so many ways, including financially. Let me encourage you to talk with the social worker at the facility, and a representative from the hospice company of your choice. Hospice isn't just for people who are very near death; they can also help at the beginning of that road, too. Hugs, dear.
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Starsdy65, many times a someone near death will hang on for whatever reason: to see a baby born, so that goodbyes can be said to a loved on living far away. Many times people feel they have unfinished business. Letting your loved one know that you love them and will miss them but that it's OK to let go can make it so much easier on them, and on you as well.

It's so hard to give a pat answer, because death is different for everyone, but common signs can include mental changes, such as seeing people who aren't there, changes in vital signs, diminished or stoppage of urine and fecal output, changes to breathing patterns, and skin color changes as circulation becomes diminished.

I hope this answers your question in some way.
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Yes there are many signs of dying. My husband carried a low grade fever for over 3 weels. Then it went hight at times. Liquids went into his lungs. I told Hospice several days that it sounded like it was coming from his lungs, they let it pass, I think they knew it was just a matter of time. They treated him like he would get better but he didn't. His one arm he wouldn't hardly move it and would give out a soundlike it hurt. But I wish I would have known more about it. One sign is I guess is getting stiff. Good luck with your loved one.
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I was told the other day my mom doesn't have a lot of time left, I have been her only care giver for the last 3 years, I saw some things going on that alerted me to some thing being wrong, my mom sleeps most of the day, she wakes up long enough to try and eat, most of her meds have been done away with, I do have hospice care for her, this is the second time around. my mom lives with me , Im the only person around that takes care of her, my brother came down finally after 4 months of not bothering with her, every time I invite him and his wife down he always has some excuse, my mom has diabetes, vascular dementia, and parkinsons, so her quality of life has gone. I know some people may think this is cruel, but I pray every night that god take my mom, its time, I hate seeing her go through it all, my mom will pass at home with me and the hospice people, so my heart goes out to every one who is going through this.
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Thanks guys for posting this,my dad is 92 and until right before thanksgiving he still drove (very well took state test) played pool with his buddies at the senior center,took care of my mom that is on hopice and still has all his marbles. He had a stroke and still has marbles and he has to learn to walk again very feeble now. We have him on medical marajuana and that is helping his eating which was nil before now he eats and he is in rehab a second time because he feel so much he has low blood pressure and gets dizzy,this is also from not drinking enough water they say and he still wont. He broke down and cried to me that he was scared and also he is a worrier and I know the time is near for his passing when will I know when the time has come ?
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well my mom is still with us, there has been some changes for her, she is now more confused then ever, some times she eats some times she just picks at her food, her O2 level is high then low, her bp is high then low, but she sleeps ,a lot and some times when she wakes up she says she is exhausted, but she has not needed any pain meds so Im grateful that she is remaining comfortable, we have out tree up and she likes that, so for now I just take it one day at a time.
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Not to sound harsh, one cannot put a price or value on necessary items at any age. I wonder, Is Hospice "for profit?" Josie Harper Hospice House in Omaha, Nebraska, is $280 per day for room and board. $8400/month. Medicare pays the medical side of care. Really? Really? Does it cost $280/day in a building on an ok side of town which could some "freshening up". The Pallative care worker said the cost is $260 and this location was $280. This money is out of pocket and neither insurance, Medicare more long-term will pay for "room and board". I was under the impression there isn't a out of pocket for Hospice care.
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Youngestof3, Hospice care (the care, not the room and board) is covered by Medicare. Most Hospice care takes place at home. My mother, who may soon go on Hospice, is in nursing home, private pay, at $15,000 a month. And yes, we will still have to pay that while she's on Hospice. It's for the 24/7 care she recieves.

I don't know if the Hospice organization that you mention is a for profit organization or not. You could call the main office of the organization and ask.

Hospice does not provide round the clock care and it sounds as though that's what your elder needs, that's what you are paying for. The alternative is to have family provide the care at home and have Hospice come in.
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We had in-home hospice care when my husband died. There was no cost to us. I was told that if he needed to move to their facility that there would be a room and board charge, but that they often found funding for that. My husband was able to stay home.

My mother was on hospice care in a nursing home. Her room and board was already being paid for. We had no additional out-of-pocket charges for having her on hospice.

Youngestof3, I believe it is true that Medicare covers the "care" including drugs, equipment, visits, etc. but that the patient is responsible for room and board. Some hospice organizations may have some funds to help defray those costs if necessary.
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Thank you. Crazy thing, while in the hospital, my mom seemed as though she could pass away any moment. The ride to Hospice House seemed to juggle her enough that she is like she was 3 weeks ago! Monday morning, we made arrangements to move her to a nursing home where my dad can be in assisted living down the hall and can easily visit her as much as he wants. Tonight, however it seems like my dad is ready to go, he has been worried about mom for a couple years now, and we think because mom will soon pass his body is giving out too. He is 91 and has out lived all his relatives. Mom is 84 and hasn't been my mom for probably 5 years. This health "yo yo" is really taxing!
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Yes, the yoyo thing is what wears me down. We've been told by medical staff twice in the last year "this is it". You gird yourself, you go into emergency mode, you alert closest telatives. And then they perk up. Makes wr feel like I'm crying wolf. It's exhausting. Take cate of yourself!

To that end, I'm playing hookey today and sitting on a NYC beach, early in the morning.
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My mil was on her death bed. She had 6 children and too many grand and great grand to count. Just her kids were with her, got a hysterical call from my husband that he thinks she has died. Me and my 3 kids get there in about 20 mins. So do about 30 other adults and kids. Meet husband on porch, tells me to go in and see if she has died. Everyone watching her crying, no one touching her. I go to her bedside, hold her hand, tell her who I am and very quietly tell her that we love her, I will take care of her disabled son and my husband, that we will all be ok and I know she needs to go, her husband his waiting for her and she will have a beautiful journey. 😢. She opens her eyes and says clear as day "I know"! 😱. Scared the sh*t out of me. Needless to say she was still alive. This happened 2 more times and I finally said to my husband that she wasn't able to leave because there were 35 people crying all over her and I don't think they should call the extended family next time. She passed at 3am with all of her children sleeping in her house. They was a half hour when all fell asleep and that is when she chose to go. I think there are signs but I sometimes don't think we see all of them. I just noticed that this question is from 2009, sorry.
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