Can family siblings request my moms financial statements on a monthly basis even though I have Power of Attorney?

Janejones, don't let your sister intimidate you. Seems she has already managed to do this. Can you consult an elder attorney & ask that a letter be written to her asking she summarize expenses for Dad for x number of past years, along with details of her $$ compensations? You need to learn how state laws protect you. ALL the best~!!!

After five years of caring for her - in home - with progressive dimentia, my mother passed in February. She gave me financial and medical POA several years before she began to slip.the last time my brother was at all involved was when he brought her back early and said the following: " do whatever you think is right with her. I'm not looking for any money. I never expected any. Don't call me. It's too much for my blood pressure."
Silly us -- we took him at his word.he is now demanding an independent audit. Can he do that, and does there need to be accountability for that period? We did not keep receipts and records. We were just trying to stay ahead of the dimentia.
Not sure where I am with this. Can you help?
K

Katame, you may not have kept every receipt but it is unlikely that there are no records. If an independent auditor were to go through them, what would be found? Would you, if you think about it neutrally for a moment, have anything to fear from such an exercise?

That's one way to look at it; because actually agreeing to it might be the easiest and fastest way to make this problem go away. N.b. if your brother wants it done, it's your brother who pays the auditor of course. And by independent, make sure he means independent as opposed to forensic and litigious.

But let's suppose he is out to get you. In that case, he would have to find evidence that you did abuse your POA - the Maserati in the driveway, the Facebook photos of your cruise round the Caribbean, that kind of thing. In other words, the onus would be on him to prove that you DID, not on you to prove the negative that you didn't.

For peace of mind in the interim, check with a specialist elder care lawyer. But don't despair, and don't stick your head in the sand either. Please update, hope it works out okay.

I am interested in an accounting of my mother's financials. My sister is her power of attorney. How do I request this without upsetting her and putting her on the defensive. I just want to ensure that she has fulfilled her obligation without any misconduct.

My mother who is 85 took care of her mother for 13 years without any of her siblings help. She gave them copies of everything, put them on her mothers bank accounts and included them in every decision she made. If there was a question the 3 siblings meet at the attorneys office. All they ever did was try and take my grandmothers money. They took loans and constantly harassed my mother about paying their bills for them. My aunt on 3 occasions took large unauthorized withdrawals, diverted the bank statements to a different address then hacked into my mothers accounts online. my mother finally had a heart attack. I stayed with my grandmother while my mom was in hospital. My siblings and my mothers doctor decided the two old ladies couldn't be left alone. I got voted in to step in. i moved on the property, I paid rent and I worked 27 hrs a week without pay to help my mom and grandmother. my aunt and uncle had a fit.They demanded all kinds of things. my grandmothers attorney told my mother she did not have to account to them! plus my aunt had all the bank statements! Guess what ... now my grandmother died, she was 108 yrs old, they are making her account for every dime for the last 13 years!! my grandmothers savings had run out and my mother brother and sisters all pitched in! we loved our grandmother very much. no person from my mothers siblings families had even seen my grandmother for six years! all there is, is a tiny house for them to split 3 ways. They have spent over 40,000 dollars since june. Its awful! I just sent in 1200 pages of statements to them. What for? because they can. Keep good detailed records. Keep every receipt. See an accountant that can help set up the books for you. Right now they can cry all they want, you don't have to oblige them. Once mom passes, they are entitled to everything from the minute you got involved!!!! Good Luck...

I think my dad turned a corner yesterday but unfortunately I have a sister who believes the world revolves around her. She is the trustee for my parent's living trust. Yes, it hurts that mom chose her over me but that's her choice and I respect my parents. My mother passed away November 2016 from lung cancer. I was her live in caregiver. My father has Alzheimer's with aphasia. Aphasia affects the speech center. My sister immediately moved in with my dad to care for him at his home. I was not consulted. Dad is very sick now. I've been trying to see my father since mom passed but my sister has been very uncooperative. Her husband lives with her at dad's and suddenly dislikes me but won't communicate with me. I'm heart broken.

My sister has finally returned my calls and told me that dad has taken a grave turn. She asked me to see him. Thank God. I was thrilled and relieved to be welcomed back. My sister and her husband work full time jobs. I do not. I have ample time to be of assistance to my dad. Daddy cried when he saw me. I know he misses me. I miss him terribly. He is down to 145 pounds. He is a 6'4" man. She is starving him to death. Literally. I need answers. I need to know what power I have to care for him again. He is suffering a painful death. This discovery is devastating me. Yesterday she called Kaiser and removed my authority to act. This must be a part of her way of coping with the loss of the second parent. It's cruel and heartless. I've never seen this side of my sister. She and her husband are alcoholics. I suspected that they have been giving my dad beer. I was right. My dad confirmed this with his few words last week at a Super Bowl party. I showed up unannounced and they scattered like ants trying to hide the alcohol. It's like dealing with irresponsible children.
My questions are many. I know she is the trustee and executor of their substantial estate. Do I have the right to view the revocable trust? Mom's or dad's will? She still has not provided me with any financial statements or account balances, etc. I have no idea how she is handling this estate. How do I know that she's not spending the money on herself? But what about the ability to care for my father's medical needs? I have a copy of a DNR signed by my mother before she passed. But I have no document showing that my sister has the authority to act for my dad. I believe she has a POA signed but how do I know that includes the ability to act for my dad's financial AND medical needs? I need help.

Ask dad if he wants to go to the hospital to be checked out. If he nods yes, call 911.

Just a minute.

We don't know over what period he has been losing weight, or what other conditions he may have, or how long it is since Dmoveup last saw him.

D, I'm sorry for your loss of your mother, so recently, and I'm sorry for your anxieties about your father. Who was caring for him before your sister moved in?

We don't know much, and neither does DM. Is he going to trust what sister tells him about dad's medical condition? Probably not. She's removed, apparently, his Medical Proxy. Hence, having dad assent to being checked in an ER is one solution.

It doesn't sound as if he can consent, though, does it, do you think?

DM was living with her mother until her mother sadly died in November. In November, sister moved in with Dad at his house without informing DM - so presumably the parents were no longer together? And so who was caring for Dad beforehand? - it just crosses my mind that his weight could conceivably be up to 145 lbs, rather than down to 145 lbs, for example.

There is now in-home care, but how long has that been in place?

DM, is there a family lawyer who dealt with the trust and so on? Could you perhaps start there for advice?

It seems to me that if he can indicate that he's had beer, he can nod or verbalize yes, he wants a doctor to check him out.

If he's got advanced Alzheimers he'd nod to snorting cocaine. But it might be a good idea to consult a doctor anyway, preferably the family GP. Or what about calling Kaiser - they must be mandated reporters, surely - and raising concerns there? You don't need authority to act to remind them of their legal duty to their client.

if your poa everything is up to you they dont have a leg to stand on let them get a lawyer it will be a waste of money on there part as they will get told they have not a leg to stand on thats why poa are appointed so poa can make the desissions on behalf of there loved onesyou dont need to show them nothing or move her

If you have nothing to hide, then by all means let them see it. Given your position, I would have no problem letting them see it if I had nothing to hide. Being transparent where a loved one is concerned is key, so people who have nothing to hide or transparent.

* Just make sure they have no access to any of the money and don't let them have their names on the accounts or attached to any of the assets.

Oh, how I understand your plight. I too have DPOA over my Mom. I have had it for several years at her request. Even though my Mom is of sound mind and still independent living in her own home, she has me taking care of all of her finances as she no longer wanted to do it. Several of my siblings requested copies of her finances too and Mom said NO! It is between she and myself. Only one of my sisters has a problem with that and she has accused me of robbing my Mother blind. If that were true my Mom wouldn't be living in a house that she picked out and that I helped get her financed on. She also wouldn't have a nice car to drive or to pay any of her other bills. So NO you do not have to share that information with any of your siblings unless you Mom wants you to do so. As long as your Mom is of sound mind and you have Durable POA then they can request anything they want. They can get an attorney and try to change the arrangements you have with your Mom but that doesn't mean an attorney will file charges against either of you. More than likely an attorney will side with you.

Hi, it's the 1st March 2017. I and my sister as our passed uncle POA at present being put through the most horrendous experience anyone could imagine.

Our preciousness Uncle in August 2014 had a massive stroke. His younger sister lives in America, and our mother his other sister lived across the road from Uncle Peter. Uncle Peter named myself and my sister as his POA. His sister in America was absolute furious that we were asked to do this. When our uncle had his stroke, I was living in Cyprus, I got an urgent flight back with my husband straight away as my aunt had requested me to do this. For years I had cleaned my uncle Peter home and our mother who as I said lived across from uncle Peter for 40 years had always had a key for his home. When I got back to edinburgh I and my husband went straight to the hospital to see my uncle, he was very unwell. So over the next 5 weeks I visited the hospital every day spending 6 to 8 hours a day consorting uncle Peter, my sister Susan visited every night also traveling 60 miles a day.

Our aunt from America, our mother sister arrived 6 weeks later, as Uncle Peyer flat was empty and it was just across the road from her sister, me and my mum thought it would be better if our aunt stayed in our uncle/ brothers flat. So our aunt arrived from America, staying in her brothers flat. I went to pick her up the day after her arrival as my sons had invited us over for dinner. When I arrived to pick my aunt up at my uncles flat, she had opened his personnel documents, which held his will and his POA. The reason I know this as the documents were lying on my uncle table, she never mentioned anything to me that whole day that she had found his will and his POA.

The following day the Monday she called our uncles lawyer to see if she could have myself and my sister removed as POA, the reason I know this is that our uncle lawyer told us this. She then proceeded to change the locks on our uncle flat. She said that the lock was faulty, if that was the case why didn't she give my mother a copy of the new key, and why was she not more transparent with her actions.

Our aunt locked us all out of her brother flat, as she was the sole benifishery to our uncles estate and the sole exector. We had to have lawyers letters sent to our aunt at our uncle flat, so we could gain access to do our job as POA, she refused us access to his flat it was only after 2 lawyers letters were sent and she was going back to America that she gave us access to our uncles flat. As you can imagine our mother was appalled by her sisters behaviour. While our aunt locked us out of our uncles home, she made a full intinary of ever single item in her brothers home.

Our aunt went back to America after causing mayhem to the family in Scotland, never to be seen again until 20 months later. She came over to see her brother, I forgave my aunt for her behaviour but my mother did not. When our aunt came back to see her brother some 20 months later, she asked me if she could as her brother exector book his funeral, I said yes off course, so she did and paid for it in full, telling the funeral home in edinburgh that if anything happens to her brother they were to take instruction from me.

I'm now going to go back to when myself and my sister as our uncles POA, what we had to deal with on a daily bases. Our mother and our aunt asked that as our uncles POA there brother never ever be placed into a nursing home. But in order for this to happned our uncles flat had to be fully adapted to meet his now requirements. That meant me giving up my life in Cyprus and having to return back to edinburgh. But I loved my uncle so much this seemed a small sacrifice to make, even though the financial difficulty we had to deal with also on making this sacrifice. Any way we did it myself and my husband returned from Cyprus to assist with the works that were required to make our uncles flat liveable for him to return home.

We did all of this over 5 months, whilst visiting uncle Peter every single day in hospital, for hours every single day myself and my sister took our uncle waning home also every day, at night doing wading all night that was soiled with human wast, months and months of time our lives, then meeting with doctors Occupational therapists, meeting with care companies, trying to get the right care company to look after uncle Peter at home, we gave up our lives.

Our uncle was a very wealth gentleman, and we made sure he had the best of the best in his last 24 months on this earth.

We had full POA no restrictions, our uncle trusted us impeccable, it's a pity our aunt didn't.

She has served a citation on myself and my sister, to provide accountability for every penny we spent, over the last 2 years.

We bought our uncle a car, so we could take him out safely, the car had to accommodate a wheelchair and Zimmer. The car had heated seats Uncle Peter loved his car. Had we waited for a disabled car the waiting list was 3 months, he needed to get out from hospital ASAP as this was a Hugh benefit to his health and well being. Uncle Peter had to have 24 hour care in place to stay at home. He only had a 1 bedroom end flat so the care company only available had x3 different carers coming into his home ever day, he absoluty hated this all these different people coming in and out his home every day. This care company cost per month were £10,500.00 for 28 days care. We had lots if issues with this care company, sending staff that could not speak English, them not looking after our uncle properly. My sister Susan did all the daily shopping every day visiting uncle Peter for 4 to 5 hours a day travelling miles to see him every day.

Susan was on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week, had no social life what so ever and my aunt is questioning the salary she was paid at 10 per hour.

We gave small gift to the family from there beloved uncle, which it said as his acting POA we could do.

When Uncle Peter passed, on October 11th 2016, my son called the funeral home, the information that my aunt gave me as she had booked and paid for the funeral. The funeral home duly came and collected Uncle Peter in the middle of the night. The next morning my son again called the funeral home to confirm that they had his Uncle, he said yes I believe my aunt has already arranged the funeral. There reply was no she cancelled it.

Our aunt then not 36 hours after or uncle death locked us out of his flat, we haven't even got our uncles passport to register his death.

I don't know what's going to happen to me and my sister, all we ever did was love and adore our precious uncle, it breaks my heart that our aunt is using our uncle money to do this to us.

I'm now being placed into debt, by myself and my sister having to hire a lawyer to defend ourselves for what we do not know. it is disgusting that this is allowed to happen, the only reason she is doing this is beacause she is in a financial position to do it.

Our aunt never attended her brother funeral, we had to arrange everything. She left her brother in a state of undress in the funeral home for 10 days, our mother who has little had to go and buy her brother a suit, shirt and tie and shoes, so the funeral home could dress him for people to go and visit him for the last time.

I will update this thread when myself and my sister find out what's going to happen to us.

We have supplied 90% of the receipts. But what I would say to anyone is never ever ever take on the role of a POA unless your an exector and benifishery of the will. We the family will never ever understand why Uncle Peter left everything to his sister in America, our mother and the rest of the family have our own thoughts on this but I will leave it there.

Our mother was in the will to be left everything but only if our aunt died.

Louise if it's not too late contact the OPG (Scotland). They may be able to advise you about what to do if you're accused of abusing power of attorney. Get back-up from any healthcare or social care organisations you had contact with, too - they were there to observe what you and your sister were doing for your uncle.

Your aunt sounds like a piece of work. It's very sad when people get so fixated on the money they forget all about everything else - including what the money needs to have been spent on. She probably truly believes that she's "defending" your uncle's interests and wishes; there'd be no talking to her. Sigh.

Most POAS /guardians must make annual financial reporting to the court and SSA, as the Rep Payee. Give them a copy of that.

I would provide them with semiannual statements.

What if the power of attorney (such as my sister) manipulates original beneficiaries and changes over all cash accounts to annuities with new beneficiaries (herself and her children) thereby leaving you with virtually nothing. And, doing this when your mother can barely talk or walk - taking her to banks to close out the accounts and then setting up paperwork with the annuity representative and you don't find out until a few days after your father dies. Previous to that your mother died five months before. How would any of you feel about that? See the other side, please.

Get an attorney to file a claim against the estate. POA's must not change final documents, especially when they are the benefactor. It is a conflict of interest.

As long as your siblings have good intentions, they are right to want to make sure you're not abusing your powers. Sadly though, so many times people abuse their powers whether it be POA, DPOA and even guardianship. In fact, I recently saw a very sad story on Facebook of a female public guardian who would take custody of elders and have their bodies cremated when they died and store the ashes in a storage container in a storage unit, some of them for even years. I'm not sure the elders ever had their own funeral arrangements already in place or if she overturned them and did her own thing, but I can tell you she's been caught and that situation is being dealt with as human ashes are returned to the families.

Yes, your siblings are right to be concerned, good for them! Too many times we here sad stories where some poor soul who had some kind of authority over someone else's matters became a monster, especially when they were given power to make financial decisions for someone else. Money is just too tempting to give that kind of power to anyone, and I think you should work with your siblings if you have nothing to hide. If you have nothing to hide, then be transparent and give an account of where her money is going and show proof through receipts. If you have nothing to hide, prove it and put them at ease so they're not suspicious of you, especially in this day where so many vulnerable people are taking advantage of behind the families' back's. Putting myself in the shoes of your siblings, I would be very suspicious of anyone who acted like they were trying to hide something, I don't blame them! As long as their hearts are in the right place, they should be very concerned and yes, they deserve very honest answers and the proof to back it up

I had the same problem, when I sought legal advice and I filed to have my mom interdicted, it cost me about $1000.00 in court fees, my friend is an attorney and did my case pro-bono. Once my mom was interdicted, the judge order the POA to be the Curator and me the UnderCurator. The Curator have to report to my sibs a full report of my mom's assets, expenses, health, caretakers scheduled, basically everything about my mom. As UnderCurator, the Curator cannot make any decision about my mom without consulting me first. My entire family was upset with me, but it's the best move I've made concerning my mom and getting information about her.
Good luck!!

Document everything you do--especially your time and her money you spend.
Usually, if you were also recognized by a judge as the legal POA, you do an annual accounting to the judge. That is the only legally binding ledger you can be held accountable for; however, your siblings can hire a lawyer and make your life miserable. Be open. Document. Speak with your lawyer.
Darby

I agree, you cannot loose your POA. And, ignore the people adding to your stress. If mom is happy, just block their calls until they understand you are in charge of her care. I KNOW you are allowed payment. I had a contract with my partner, but never acted on it. His kids were a work of art. They were as nasty as they could be. I came home from the funeral shaking to the point my doctor wanted to give me anti-depressants.

They are only interested in what they can GET. Nothing more. This is so common. My sister and broker were horrible when my mom passed. They went over to her house and took all her valuables while I sat with her in Hospice for the last few hours. It is horrible what this does to families. I have learned and got rid of everything before I go. There will be nothing to fight over.

I look back and realize how lucky my sisters and I were. I retired early, paid $7,000 to move to be near my mom. Although one sibling mainly wrote out checks for our mom, we all had POA and all had debit cards for her bank account so we could each pay for her coffee or buy clothes for her when we took her shopping or ordered clothes from catalogs. We ALL received monthly bank statements from mom's bank. When I had a once-in-a-lifetime chance to take a trip to country of our g g g grandparents, my sisters insisted it come from my mother's money. Our mom was very generous when in charge of her own money so we all knew that the trip would have been exactly what she would have wanted. The hard part was actually accepting the gift because we were always wondering if there would be enough money for future unknown expenses (there was). After 12 years, mom "left" and I moved back ($12,000 moving expenses this time) to be near my own children.
Looking back, I see our mom gave her children yet another HUGE gift as our inheritance. She had raised us all to be meticulously honest and bend-over-backwards fair, which meant we had total trust in each other. The way she raised her kids when they were young had direct consequences for her in her old age.

Tell them you will have your mother's attorney call them. The attorney will set them straight in 5 minutes. You are POA. Are you executor of her estate? You all need to sit down and quietly work this out.

To me, when relatives ask questions about financials and do not participate in the daily care, their agenda is selfish and greed. Only caregivers are aware of the day to day. If being "uncomfortable" to come to your home to see their mother is a viable excuse to "them" write them off. I got a magic jack so my mother has her own telephone number. I seem to be the only one calling to make sure it's working. Where is the excuse there? I bought a Tend security camera from Walmart. It has dual audio. I can watch my mother in real time on my cell when doing errands, in the middle of the night, etc. Best of Luck.

Respite concerns me. I'm offered this as a caregiver however when I checked it is for a minimum two weeks and it would be in a nursing home. Two weeks is sufficient time for non-caring staff to be the culprits behind bed sores, a decline in mentality, etc. so I suck it up, own up to the choice I made to be a caregiver, take a nap, whatever and get through my day.