Should I charge my mother rent?

Question

Should I charge my mother rent?

Follow

Share

75 Answers

Of course, she can afford to pay her own way. I paid a lot of money out when I was caring for mom in her home. It was just easier, as I never had her check book with me. When mom dies, everyone will show up for the money!! So do it right, an let her pay her way. When your mom dies, you will be surprised to see who shows up for what they feel they deserve.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

I charge my mother rent. She lives in a house that I own. She doesn’t require any physical help at this time.
I have taxes to pay on the house. Any repairs that are needed I take care of. I charge her $750. a month. I could easily get twice that amount if I were to open it up to strangers.
I have no problem charging her rent! She is safe. And she loves her independence.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

My husband and I paid for everything until one of my sisters suggested using Mom's debit card (with her approval) for one grocery run a month. That helped some, but definitely wasn't even near her share of costs. Mom was completely dependent on us, both physically and financially, but we didn't feel right using her money. We listed her as a dependent on our taxes. Even though money was tight on our fixed income, I'm so glad we handled it this way because it enabled Mom to have a large enough bank account when we moved her to a memory care facility to live out the rest of her life, rather than worry about a MediCal nursing home.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

Yes, Absolutely you should charge rent. If she has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and dementia you should also consider being her Power of Attorney. As already suggested, you should seek out an Elder Care Attorney and get her and your affairs in order ASAP. Good luck

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

I’m reading all these posts... consider this... first you are family, second you are helping her, third pool your resources and support each other as a whole, it’s not about rent it’s about how you feel and you may be feeling resentful ... are you on her bank accounts you should be by now and budget funds for the household.....expenses you are taking care of her....

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

If she has a will and leaving your half of her assets then perhaps no need to charge her for rent. She just wanted to teach you responsibility by charging you that small amount. Mothers are like that they mean well but can be irritating. I raise my hand as a Mom.
Take your doing with the sense that the good you are doing will bring rich blessings into your life. You are improving the value of your house with that bathroom. You will need it one day yourself or, you will sell your property one day to someone who needs that exact bathroom set up.
What if you wanted to do it for her, but did not have the money to do it and had no means? How would that make you feel?
Your 12 hour shifts are your everyday vacation. Enjoy your days at work helping others. Going to work is an independence we don't appreciate until we do not have a much needed job.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

My mother has been living with us for 20 years! She has dementia and has had it from the start. (And before) I get no support from siblings so yes I've started letting her pay for things. Diapers, toiletry items, etc. And she pays me an amount covering food, car expenses, caring, (which I do) granny sitters very occasionally, a maid once a week for her. I still do her laundry and other personal things. She should be in a nursing home but we can't afford it. So yes I don't feel guilty and you shouldn't either.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

My short answer is yes.
My long answer - When my mom moved in with me 10 years ago she insisted she pay a small amount of "rent" each month. I realized she needed to contribute and feel like she was carrying her own weight so I said yes. I paid everything else. The phone I had installed for her, the satellite TV that she watched all day, the utilities, her clothes, the personal items...the list goes on. Eventually she needed a full time caregiver when I was at work. Mom only gets Social Security and nothing else. She had a tiny bit saved up during the time she was living with me and then we had to use it up for a caregiver for her and now she is on Medicaid. You can bet during the time I was having to spend her savings I was wishing I had let her pay for more things instead of taking care of it all for her. Having said that, I'm grateful she had the money there to pay for the caregiving she needed.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

WOW! My first question is... What is she doing with all that money she has saved!!! Sounds like cruise time to me! But seriously... I will give you my situation... my Daddy lives with me I handle everything. I try to let him live as independently as possible so every month we go to the bank and he withdraws what he believes he needs for the month and with that money he can do anything with give it away, buy extras, treats, go out with friends, whatever. With the rest I pay his part of the utilities, his grandpad cell phone, his tithing, his medication, his clothing, basically his needs. When we file taxes he is his own single. I am my own single.
Hope this helps
Blessings
hgnhgn

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

My mother makes the house payment and pays the electric bill plus her insurance all on a little over$1000. I pay for groceries, water, phone, cable and internet

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

Reading these responses I am curious if having a parent living with you makes you the head of household? Then you could file joint tax returns, if that would be helpful. But certainly your mom should pay for her own expenses and chip in on the groceries if she has the money. Also her money could go to part time aide if or when she needs it.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

Yes you should ask her to contribute. My dad lives with me and I have a DPOA. He doesn't want to discuss finances at all and trust me to manage his money. I do not charge rent exactly but I do keep all receipts for groceries and anything I buy especially for him. I charge him half for the groceries and all paper products I buy (he and my disabled brother go through tons of paper plates, napkins, paper towels, depends, etc.) I used his money to fence in our backyard for his dog which is now living with me also. I keep records with all the receipts so if anyone asks (my two other siblings for example) I can prove what I used his money for. I also use his money to pay for a sitter to come in and stay with him when I need to take my brother anywhere because dad can't be left alone. I think all that is perfectly reasonable. Don't feel guilty. But do get a durable power of attorney that covers you. I had a lawyer draw up a DPOA, a Living Will, and a new will that spells out everything.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

Some of these questions/answers are a lifeline to me. My 87 y/o Mom lives with my husband and me for year and 1/2 now. Dementia (Alz) and heart disease. I do all the household chores, cooking, laundry, errands, Dr. appts, medication reminders _- everything! She refused to accept the changes in her life and prepare for them until her living environment, became well, unlivable. She is a hoarder as well. It has taken me over a year to clean out her house. She has never offered us a nickel. A great deal of her money goes to support the house she can no longer live in. Taxes, utilities etc. She refuses to consider for a moment to sell that house. Even though it would probably sell quickly given the shape its in because it is in a historic district.
Brothers are supportive but live too far away to help. GTG. Off to cut her grass. I know. I need a reality check.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

Yeah, she needs to pay you something. I'd say do the math and charge her accordingly. She'll need to contribute something as $3000 a month is roughly what me and my husband make in a month! (It's expensive to be poor)

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

LOL - love the comment - its expensive to be poor!!! ; )

(1)

Report

Charging her rent is a whole can of worms you may not want to open. It could affect your homeowners insurance rates because landlords pay more for home insurance and once you start collecting rent you are technically a landlord. If you collect rent and do not tell your insurance company about it you could even void any claims you may have. As a landlord you will also be subject to tenant laws of your area and will likely owe taxes on the rental income.
On the other hand she has an income and should be paying her own way. I would expect her to pay for all of her own stuff if she is able to do so. That is an entirely different thing than rent. She should pay for her groceries, hygiene items, clothing, phone, gas for the car used to take her places, etc etc. If she doesn't have a debit card and you should go to the bank and help her get one. If she doesn't want one then you can get her a prepaid debit card in her name and then transfer money onto it from her account, as needed, to pay for her things. Since she has an income of 36,000 a year it's unlikely you can claim her as a dependent but it wouldn't hurt to ask a CPA about that.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

It's her mother....not a tenant. She wouldn't be considered a landlord unless a contract was signed.

(2)

Report

See 2 more replies

It is perfectly reasonable she should contribute to living expenses. This should be called helping with responsibilities not rent. You are right.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

Your mother gets quite a bit - $3,000.00 a month?! My mom lives with me and yes pays me some rent. I'm on a very tight budget and almost all of it goes towards groceries as she eats a lot and most meals at home. I also am the errand girl, take off from work if she has an appointment, driver her an hour out of town because she will not switch doctors and it also goes towards water, electricity, & cable. She is at my home enjoying it all day. I feel like since I'm single it is only fair. Plus I'm saving her over $500.00 if she continued to stay in her own apartment.

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

My mother in law lived with us for years. We got along great and I never had a problem with it. Then she started to decline mentally. I had to work as well as my husband and realized it wasn't safe for her to be alone. So I started to look into AL. She only had a very tiny check from SS and I knew nothing about medicaid. I was told I had to charge her rent. I was horrified as I would never take any money from her. But finally had to do it (and show the checks). But they wouldn't tell me how much to charge. So I guessed at how much. Turned in the paperwork and the woman said, "That's not enough." I started to get mad and asked, "Well how much should I be charging her?" And she told me. So I told her I would charge her that much from now on and she approved it on the spot. Why in the world they played games like that was beyond me. She ended up in a great AL before she had to go into a nursing home. At the end I was the only one she recognized. I'm so thankful I had the time with her I did. I'm also thankful the AL and Nursing home were right down the road from me. And I was allowed 24 hour access so I could always check on her.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

Yes. My mother insisted I take $700. I figure that 400$ is food and necessities. Another 100$ is utilities (she keeps the heat at 80). So that leaves 200$ a month leftover so I can pay for my mental health care because this is so not fun or enjoyable. :)

Helpful Answer (8)

Report

I pay everything except I make my mom pay for DirecTv and the Landline because those are her non-negotiables. (Those total up to around $200) Sometimes she has to help me pay for plumbing repairs or 1/2 of improvements we make to the house. She pays for her meals out (unless its her birthday), but I pay the mortgage, utilities, groceries, car, car insurance, taxes (house and income). I take her to all doctor appointments using my sick time, do all the chores, as she can't do too much since her balance is off. I am now her POA both financial and medical. I pay all of her bills (from her accounts). She just has to pay for her insurance, meds, and her credit card bills. I tell her she has happy money, as well she should in retirement, but I should have a little happy money too. She has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia. It is difficult to work full-time and be a caregiver. I have a teen daughter who doesn't do chores on a regular basis. I do have someone come in twice a week to do light chores, fix mom lunch and watch her. Mom actually would prefer that I pay that! Imagine! Bless you for being a caregiver. Do ask for help where you can from her. It is ok. You have to draw the line and that's ok too. You are not a doormat.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

I would definitely talk to a CPA or a tax attorney and ask about how charging rent might affect your right to file tour taxes as head of household. If you’re not currently filing as head of household, you might want to do that. I don’t know if or how charging rent would affect that, or which would be more advantageous, but it is worth looking into.

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

Of course, she should be contributing, especially if it’s financially straining for you, although you didn’t specifically mention that, other than you work.
You did mention that if she were healthy, she’d help, which is the right thing to do.
I think that you should make the decisions about how her assets are handled, especially since she has mental ailments.
Its difficult, but fair & necessary.

A bit of wisdom.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

Yes she should pay you room and board, a reasonable amount. But, do not consider it as "giving" that implies a gift. It is paying her way. A fixed amount monthly and documented if the form of a lease.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

My Dad paid for the in-law apt we added as he did not want to cause us financial hardship taking him in. He pays the difference in real estate taxes and insurance as well as his cell phone, meds and junk he likes to eat/drink each week. He actually enjoys going to the store with me and doing his own “shopping.” He even picks up a “surprise” treat for me - so sweet!! When the time comes, he will pay for home care as needed. I pay for groceries and utilities which I’m fine with because I don’t want to nickel and dime him and will work from home part time when he should no longer be home alone.

Am I benefiting from the increased value added to my home? Absolutely. But it is far less expensive than going into a nursing home plus he is surrounded by love, good meals, conversation and support and is home. The toll on caregivers is high but I do it willingly. I have zero guilt. If i were wealthy, I might not have him kick in at all but that’s not my situation.

i do keep a notebook of “Dad” expenses in case my siblings ever question how his money was spent.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

Charge her rent and cut back on your hours at your job. Trust me you won’t get compensated for all the extras you are doing.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

Unless you are Forbes level and able to live more leisurely the answer is yes. Be sure to make or buy a rental agreement too. Put everything in writing this way as she ages and goes into other physical or mental stages to protect yourself as you cannot predict the future.
If you have an attorney I would pass some things by them. God Bless.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

Are you her power of attorney for financial and medical affairs? If yes, you can use her money to hire a caregiver to help take care of her. They usually work a minimum of 4 hrs each day and can take her to medical appointments. You wouldn’t have to take time off work to do that anymore.

Also, sign up for Meals on Wheels. The caregiver can help with giving her the food, clean up after each meal, give her meds (already set aside by you) and help her with bathing.

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

You should absolutely charge your mother rent. If she wasn’t living with you and was in an assisted living or nursing home it would be costing her a hell of a lot more. My mother has lived with me for the last 10 years and has a very nice situation can I charge her $500 a month. Believe me it’s a bargain for her and the rest of my family

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

Caring for someone requires sacrifice from your life savings and income; you can charge rent but be mindful of taxes that must be paid with any income into your account. You can also set up a "caregiver's contract" with an eldercare attorney then see a tax lawyer about getting a corporate account set up -- which MUST be done right -- so you get more tax breaks. She is very lucky to have a very generous retirement income and can certainly pay you -- but you MUST adhere to tax laws. See an eldercare attorney for details and estate planning. If she ever ends up in a nursing home it will wipe out her savings and there is a five year look back law to get on Medicaid so you really need to do this very carefully.

If she is not willing she can certainly live in an assisted living facility and with her income she can live in a very nice one. Everything you are doing an assisted living facility can do for her.

PS: If she is on Medicare, they can provide a hospital bed at no charge. All they need is a doctor's order.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

Being a corporation has expenses that would not be justified in a rental situation like this. You have annual corp commission fee and annual corporate minutes that must be kept, not to mention the state licensing required which triggers a need for commercial liability insurance. A tax attorney or a good tax cpa can better advice him on the best financial route for his circumstances.

(0)

Report

HELL, YES. Charge her 1000 dollars a Month, That is Fair and Square and Actually with the Food, Utilities and GOOD CARE....MORE THAN FAIR!!!

Helpful Answer (7)

Report

1 2 3

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Should I charge my mother rent?

75 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions