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I was always grateful for the few who visited my mom despite the fact she showed no apparent awareness that they were even there - I don't think that anyone who isn't intimately connected with someone like your wife on a daily basis can possibly tell the difference. It isn't uncommon for people to sort of write someone who is very elderly or ill out of their lives, often they will tell you they don't see the point of visiting and they can't bear to see them that way.
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anonymous571675 Nov 2018
That is so sad, isn't it. I think it is human nature and we are ego centric. I have always thought, the one with dementia may not remember you as wife, daughter, husband, niece, son...what's your excuse for not remembering who they are? Your husband, mother, wife, aunt.
When we don't visit we make it all about ourselves, instead of focusing a bit of time on them.
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Yes I think perhaps it is human nature. When there is nothing you can do to help make life better for someone, well, there is nothing you can do! Certainly in many cultures, people would not be supported to live in this state. That doesn’t help you at all, but that’s the question you asked. Sympathy to both of you.
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