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My 90-yr old cousin has Alzheimer's, she has stopped eating, became very ill with a UTI, and now she’s weak and cannot walk, and needs adult diapers. The hospital cured her UTI and sent her back to the mem care center. She signed dnr papers when she was in her right mind years ago. The very expensive mem care center she's in is now having hospice help with her care, they have prescribed appetite enhancement drugs, and they increased her antidepressants. My question is this: is this congruent with her wish to not be kept alive...?

They're giving her appetite drugs and anti-depressants because sadly Alzheimer's disease is not considered a terminal illness. It is but hospice doesn't treat it like one. Especially if the memory care she's in is a high-end expensive place and she's paying for it herself or has a great LTC insurance policy. Hospice and the memory care will do everything they can to prolong her poor, miserable life until the money starts dwindling. Then making sure your cousin is eating and drinking won't be such a high priority.

Such as it is, they're following the rules of hospice care. There's not anything you can do about it. Visit your cousin and see for yourself how she's doing.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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AlvaDeer Dec 11, 2024
This elder is on Hospice care. She should not be given, imho, appetite enhancing drugs.
I highly disagree that a memory care that is high end would keep someone alive for profit. At least in my area they have long waiting lists. It is not my experience of at least the ones I am familiar with and my best friend is a DON at one in San Francisco.
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If Hospice has ordered the medications then it is permitted on Hospice.
If she is eating then the medication is working
If she was at EOL (end of life) the medications would NOT work as stopping eating and drinking is part of the natural way the body shuts down.
IV's and feeding tubes would NOT be permitted on Hospice. (a feeding tube is ok on Hospice if the person had one prior to getting on Hospice.)
A DNR is a document that states that no resuscitation is to be done. And if it is a newer form that states no feeding tube or intubation they are still following that directive.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Yes. This is congruent with your cousins wishes. It sounds like she is receiving excellent care. Going on hospice will enable her to remain in her current home w/o having to be sent back to the hospital.

Neither of these will keep an actively dying person alive.

Beneath your post is a link to DNR. Click on this and read the articles for a better understanding. Also click on Hospice if you would like more details.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Hey Woolnutzy, Your cousin is blessed to have your love and concern. My first thought was that the high end facility\ facility doctor had a hand in keeping her going for the money. That is an awful thought. I hope you can see if she has her own doctor that’s not connected with the home she is in. Otherwise I can say that when my husband’s grMother at 92 was on hospice and received appetite enhancing meds( her body didn’t seem to be failing in other areas) it seemed to work a bit but not for long as her body’s natural process over rode the meds and she stopped eating again.
Hoping your loved one has a decent end of life.
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Reply to Bellerose63
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The memory care facility cannot "have hospice help" on their own. Your cousin's guardian or POA is the one who had to meet with hospice and sign papers allowing her to enter their care. Cousin can live in memory care, and hospice workers visit her there, which is her residence.

I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish with questioning the care she's getting. She's at end-of-life, and she planned for it. Let those who are helping her keep doing what they're doing - it's not up to you to change things at this point. It seems like she's getting thoughtful, expert care. I am very sorry for your coming loss.
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Reply to Fawnby
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The memory care is not doing any of this. Its your cousins doctor who's ordered medications and a hospice evaluation. Whomever is her POA will need to speak to your cousins doctor to discuss these matters.

A DNR simply means Do Not Resuscitate if her heart stops by using CPR. Increasing antidepressants is intended to keep her from feeling miserable!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Who is the POA here?
That's what is important at this time.
If you are the POA discuss with the MD the withdrawal, now she is on hospice (who will help with the withdrawal of unneeded medications) all medication to promote long life should be removed. The goal now is to understand that the loved one is actively dying and that comfort is an issue. If the anti depressants are on board for some time now then an abrupt withdrawal of them is NOT A GOOD THING. They can stay and they provide comfort.

Again, this is for the POA or next of kin to handle, to make it clear that the goal now is comfort EVEN if this comfort care and medication does cause death early by some moments, hours, days or even weeks. The POA needs to discuss medications with the Hospice personnel in charge and the MD in charge.
I am so sorry for the coming loss.
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