It is not like she is depressed - just disinterested. It is difficult dealing with her increasingly smaller world. My Mother, who used to be so interesting, has become a total boor. Self-obsessed and self interested. So of course it gets very tiring to be around. Where are all the wise, elderly people? Mostly I see spoiled toddlers in eighty year old bodies. Sorry if thats sounds harsh but my Mother listens in on my phone calls, screens my phone calls, walks in on me whenever she feels like it. She has no boundaries. It reminds me of when my children were toddlers except that it is far less charming and way more irritating Mostly harmless stuff but still...... Do we have to lose all interest in life as we age?.
cscstle & Mstone55 for your thoughtful answers. Sometimes others in the community do not realize that we have been to the doctor, gotten the antidepressants, jumped through the proper hoops and it does not really matter. Cannot force my Mother to take antidepressants when she insists "They don't do anything." What she means is they do not make her young anymore. She is 89 but we are not allowed to say anything about her age or the fact that she is old. She is so vain and self centered. I love my Mom very much but these are the facts and this site is where I come to for venting and maybe some possible solutions. The reality is that there is no solution for aging. We get old and die, always has been that way and always will be. I just really want to learn from this experience so I will not put my children what I am going through right now. Would give you all hugs but haven't figured out how to do that yet! Prayers for all.
In my mom's case, she is insecure (guess never noticed this when I grew up) and my father was her world. He died and she kinda of rose to her "independence" for about 18 mo then slipped. She was around new friends but when they "judged" or made comments about the way she dressed or talked to certain people; her fragile ego couldn't take it and she withdrew completely from the group. This was the downhill fall to not venturing out anymore for new friends, new places, etc.
I guess best advice is try to take your mom to senior center or go with her on a senior outing and slowly introduce her to others in her age group. Maybe initiate a tea or luncheon with other senior friends at your house and slowly encourage her if she is open to it to develop new interest or friends to talk to and be with.
Hopefully this will ease your craziness. PS -- I see many active seniors who continue to do for others, volunteer working sometimes 40 hrs per week to stay active and busy and have full active schedules; my mom isn't one of them -- but I sure hope to be as I get older!
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Probably not everyone who develops disinterest is depressed. I don't know. But I think a visit to a doctor would be very worthwhile.
Has your mother always had poor boundaries or is this something new?