Hello, I’m having a hard time getting over resentment towards my sister for not helping my mother. I just can’t get it through my head that family can be like that. My mother has recently passed away and she is also not doing her executor duties. I’m just struggling with the resentment. Is it ok I am resentful and that our relationship might be over because I just can’t accept the type of person she is?
In a result, I do not have brother at all, they banned me from everything, mom was getting worse for the last year and finally she is in NH, I am feeling guilty but in the same time very alone, as i dont have even a possibility to talk to him....so you decide...
Shared genes are not a free pass for bad behavior, nor are they a guarantee of companionship.
Your problem is 1 that instead of trying to take your sister on, get an attorney and let the legal system see what she is or isn't doing and petition to become guardian/conservator.
IF mine siblings were ever to try and take this from me, they'd lose big time.
Take everything away from her through the Court, turn the tables on her.
I'm also fighting 4 step-siblings and I wish they'd let me take care of my step-father too. They all live out of State and they're just collecting his retirement and my Mom's $30.000 waiting to divide the $$$.
GO AFTER HER WITH THE HELP OF AN ATTORNEY.
I resent all 7 so called siblings, but they don't realize that they are under my thumb now.
What goes around comes around
Please know that sadly your situation is not uncommon; family members can display the most amazingly selfish behavior. I am afraid we all could write some pages describing how people has truly surprised us displaying behavior that we could have never imagined, yet, they are our family.
I think the only approach that could help me to see things under a different light would be to think about what my mom would have wanted me to do.
Would she have wanted me to be angry and resentful towards my sister?
Working on not resenting her, specially now that things are still fresh, still happening, is extremely hard, so what I would do is to keep distance, at least for now. And if she is not doing what she should still now, take it as ‘the expected’, nothing new, so no reason to add to the list of things that hurt you.
Stopping resenting someone that has hurt us deeply, particularly because I know she didn’t only let you down, but you feel she let your mom down too, which is also hurtful, is not a simple process; it will take time and patience, but keep in mind that resenting her will only hurt you, not so much her. She will continue living life as usual, meanwhile you will have have bitterness and a forever open wound in your heart.
Think about your mom, she would not want her daughters to resent each other, right?
Do what is in your hands, which is all you can control, to release the resentment, but for now distance yourself mentally and even physically. You need time and space to heal a little, but work on that resentment as soon as able, as soon as a little bit more at peace.
May God bless you and help you find the strength and wisdom to deal with this situation!
I gave up asking,, begging and even caring for my sisters due to the lack of care when it came to my parents lives. they claimed they have their own and don't have time for parents. well I have my own also, kids, job, husband, home etc but I managed to take care of them.
As the parents got worse health wise I realized my time with them was limited so I decided to move in with them and love them as much as I could to the very end. and that is what I did.
I had four sisters once, but not anymore.
my parents, their parents brought us into this world , loved them and was always their for them and they don't have time to chip in to help with them.
go on with your life. forget about them as you now know who and what your they are, truly are....if something happened to you I hope you don't try to depend on them as lepard don't change their spots if you know what I mean.
forget and concentrate on your family, loved ones and don't look back.