This woman preyed on our father by meeting him in a senior active community, started having him pay for her bills and she even wrote checks from his account (before marriage). She married him in a secretive ceremony in which we were not old of until after the fact. This was 2 years ago when my dad was 83 and at the very beginnings of alzheimers... now this woman has put him in several nursing homes.. this last one is 4 hours away from any of his family. She has also told us/threatened us many times that she has Power of Attorney and can do anything she wants with him and not let us see him if we aren't 'nice' to her. We know our dad had at least $800,000 in savings for his retirement/health care but she has spent it all and is telling us that she has no more money to pay for the nursing home he's in. We have proof and several people's testimony (from private investigator) that this lady has married old men before (she's 60-ish), spent/took all their money and then they either die or they get a divorce. She is clinically diagnosed as bipolar - hence the big spending sprees and sexual advances we've seen. She was also bankrupt in between her last relationship and meeting my dad.
I know my dad chose to marry her and it seems like this is some form of 'legal robbery'.. but was hoping there was any chance we can prove her for the fraud that she is and get her in jail so she doesn't do this again to yet another naive elderly man and his family.
I'm scared she's spent all of my dad's savings and won't have money to pay for his care anymore, take him back to her home she bought with his money and not take care of him in the way he needs to, to the point where he may die an early death and then take his life insurance as well. (the private investigator does have a quote from her neighbor saying that she told her she was a nurse and can kill someone and 'get away with it'). Just wondering what our options are since this isn't technically an outsider scam but a woman who preyed on him, got married to him and spent all his money.
Thank you,
Pam
I too am at a loss. He has some obvious mental deterioration but is in that gray area where he could easily fake it if pressed. And he certainly isn't so far gone that he should be so blind to this. But any argument or discussion or disagreement with him only seems to drive him further into her control.
Our issue is that the lady married our dad and he gave her full power of attorney. when he was of sound mind a few years ago... but now he has alzheimer's and can't testify against her or say that he wants her gone/wants his money back.. he basically has no clue anymore what happened. From what I understand, she is basically legally able to use his (technically I guess 'their') money.
Meanwhile she put him in a nursing home and has 2 houses, couple cars, hundreds of thousands of jewelry, taking cruises/trips and not visiting him hardly at all. From what I understand, as long as she is 'taking care' of him by paying his nursing home bills - she can do whatever she wants with his money since they're married and she has POA.
Ugh - so frustrating.. this stranger has come in and taken over a million of my family's money all for herself.
The reason why we're 'waiting' is when she runs out of his money and then is legally bound to him by marriage to pay the nursing bills still. What then? We think, then she will come after us for those bills... We don't want to have anything to do with that - he had more than enough to support himself.. she spent it all... we are not going to pay for his or her care out of our own money. That would mean she would be basically taking/'stealing' money from us now too.
Just honestly don't know what to do next other than wait... :(
Thank you all for your help - just don't know what to do.. so frustrating..
We were in england at the time i first wrote about it but since we moved back to florida things quickly esculated.
We think we know have a federal case instead of formally been told it was civil, so i say dont wait.... This women has drained everything he and his parents worked hard for and she has done nothing.
Shes bought 3 homes and bought land to a total of 1 million dollars and is currently having 2 homes built on more land she bought with his money.
I hope i can nail this evil nasty waste of a life and give her what she deserves for putting my family through hell for the past 12 years. DONT WAIT :)
And, as for being dishonorable, if she's not balanced on her medications, there isn't much point of discussing what's right or wrong, necessarily, as the bipolar who are out of balance with their medications aren't seeing the world the same way other people do.
Another sign is paranoia. If you rethink her actions and think that paranoia is behind many of her actions, that's another reason to think she's having issues and possible not capable of executing the POA.
Does that sound like a good plan? Is the 'wait and see' plan seem good for now... Anyone else know what we can do?
Thank you all for your help and advice and support!
If you do have documentation and eye witness accounts then I would have immediately headed to an attorney, the fraud department of the police and every other agency under the sun to get this woman and nail her to the wall.
If she made such a statement to the neighbor, how do you know that she hasn't already killed someone in the past?
It is my understanding that when a person becomes POA all monies are to be spent for the benefit of the person who gave you their POA, not to buy houses, or apartments, or jewels, or cars. I believe this is considered fraud and I believe she could be thrown in jail.
If someone stole $800,000 of my parents money, you can bet your bottom dollar I would be all over them and reporting them to every agency I could find. There are agencies that deal with fraud of the elderly. In Los Angeles the LA City Attorney sued a contractor for me for my elderly mother who had ripped her off. Go everywhere and speak to everyone to obtain help. Your father was duped and his wife needs to rot in jail!
Yes, I agree with what a prior answer said, dishonorable people think everyone is like them so go ahead and be honorable and go for the guardianship. She will have to provide all kinds of proof of payment, bank records and how every penny was spent-eventually.
I just read a quote from someone to the effect that honorable people often underestimate the depths to which dishonorable people will go...I am sorry this has happened to you and the Dad you love.
My best to you and your family.
However, they did sue her as I am recommending you do as well. At least you can damage her credit and the house can be sold IF you can prove she did defraud your father. Gather all the information and documents you have, and also check with your State of Nursing board to check if she has/had a nursing license. If she still has one, you can make a complaint to the board. When there is a marriage, and your father has dementia, it is going to be pretty hard to prove fraud, but try. I went through millions of my husband's money, but he always gave it to me. You father must have been "in love" and it will not be the first time men have been "swindled" by women. Widows with money have also been taken by men who promise to love them, so this is not unusual. I am sorry your father has dementia and cannot tell you what he was thinking when he married her.
If he gets pension or SS call and report what you are seeing. Have other siblings do this also. Elder abuse is a crime.
That's where l'd start. If you have appropriate documentation, they will start an investigation at no charge to you. You must stress the emergency status of the financial draining. They can freeze accounts and have judges set aside someone's POA if they believe it's warranted.