My uncle, T, in his 70s, has had several physical health problems over the past ten years, and we recently found out that he has dementia as well. Over the past 10 years, T's late brother's partner, J, has allowed T to live on his property, and J kept a watchful eye over T. J became T's POA and was taking steps to have T placed in a nursing home.
In the past few weeks, J has been diagnosed with a terminal condition, and he doesn't expect to live more than a few more weeks. He is now trying to seek some closure in his last few days, and one of the things that's worrying him is the care of my uncle, T. After J passes away, there will be no one to watch over T. J's property will be sold or willed to other people, and my uncle, T, will likely be evicted.
J wants me transfer POA to me. I live in another state. I last saw my uncle about 20 years ago, so I don't have any idea of his condition except for what I've heard second hand from other relatives. He has some cash saved. I understand that I have to get him to go into a nursing home and apply for Medicaid. After the fees eat up his savings, then Medicaid will start paying the fees. The problem will be that he won't accept that he should move into a nursing home. (Because of his dementia, he sometimes believes that an old friend is coming to get him and take him to their home to live or set him up in a nearby apartment.) I'm not sure what I can do from another state.
Does anyone have any advice for me?
To get a reluctant LO into a facility you can use a "therapeutic fib". Tell him he needs to go to a "hotel" while his home gets treated for bug infestation (as one example). Inform the facility of the storyline so they can play along and pack your uncle as if he's going away for 2 weeks. Two weeks is how long a new resident usually needs to adjust, as suggested by many facilities, but could take longer.
I wish you all the best...I also am a PoA for 2 people who are 1600 miles away.
What his POA needs to do is turn your Uncle over to the State. They will get him placed and he will have a guardian. He should call APS. The guardian will be able to get things done faster than u can. Medicaid requires certain info you are not privy to.