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Angie, a couple of thoughts. Does your dad have dementia, or cognitive decline? Back in the day when mom had MCI and was in Independent Living, she wouldn't have been able to figure out how many of each item she needed to have enough clothing for a one week turn around. Also, due to anxiety issues, she would never believe that her clothes would find her way back to her. She also would have taken as gospel truth any awful story another resident told her about laundry turn-around. Not sure if that helps, but it might be part of this thinking.
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I might check myself on the turnaround time for laundry. The AL's that I have seen do laundry 3 times a week. It may just have to be something that you put your foot down. You can just inform him that the service is the way to go or do it himself. And stay firm. I still find it odd, but, I suppose time will tell what's at the bottom of it.
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Dad is 95 years old, and although he has no cognitive problems, at his age, he shouldn't have to be washing clothes if he doesn't want to do so. (That said, though, he always did his own laundry when he was living at home with my mom. He was in his 90s at the time.) I just don't want to be the solution to his problem. Three years of free laundry service is enough, and he can well afford to hire the laundry done. We would take care of labeling the clothes for him, which is required.

I'm really irritated by his passive-aggressive approach to the situation. Today he told me how tired he was from doing the laundry and that it always made him tired but that he'd take a nap after lunch. When I brought up the subject of paid laundry service, he said that they didn't return the clothes quickly enough and he would run out of clothes. He brushed off my offer to equip him with more garments. Later on, my husband pointed out to me that we had been giving Dad one-week turnaround when we did his laundry--apparently that wasn't a problem for him at the time.

FreqFlyer, I love the idea of the sling, but I doubt it would help, because Dad brushes aside any mentions of my own health. After my surgery, I mentioned that I was feeling a little "off" because of the side effects. At the end of the conversation, he said, "I'm glad you're doing beautifully."
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Maybe he thinks it's a way to guarantee that you'll visit. Assure him that you want to be the daughter, not the laundress, lol!
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AngieJoy, I wouldn't take on the laundry duties again, but I would try to figure out just what is causing his insistence. One thing that might get my curiosity is whether he remembers that you have have already told him no. It's possible that he's forgetting the previous conversations and that's why he seems insistent on the matter. I'd see if that is the case.

It also could be that he's not sure how to pay them. Could it come out of his account or would he have to pay separately. Maybe, his check writing skills are going and he's afraid he won't be able to do it.

Or, who actually comes to get his laundry with the service. Is he having accidents in his underwear and he's embarrassed for them to know about it? Maybe he gave up doing laundry for a reason.

I noticed that my cousin hadn't done laundry in a long time and wondered why. Later, I discovered that she had dementia and she could no longer navigate the instructions on the washing machine.
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Why does dad think that his laundry is YOUR job?

Send it out, get it done in house, do it himself. Not your problem!
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AngieJoy, may I ask how old is Dad? If he is a certain age, then he still feels that laundry is "woman's work".

My Dad [95] never did laundry in his life. When in college he use to mail home his laundry for his mother to do, of course back then one didn't had a washing machine and the dryer was the clothes line. After college Dad found work and lived in a boarding house where the house mother did the guy's laundry. Then he got married, and my Mom did 72 years worth of laundry. So, it is your job :P

It could also be he is tying up the machines at Assisted Listing by forgetting he has a load of wash that needs to be dried or he has dried clothes sitting in the dryer. Bet the ladies who live there aren't happy campers.

It's funny, he lives "independently" yet you and I feel so exhausted.... like, what is up with that?

Buy an arm sling and wear it when you go to visit Dad. Back when I broke my shoulder I was out of commission for 6 months yet the doctor didn't want me to wear my sling after the 2nd month.... I told my physical therapist about my parents and how they act when they see the sling, and he laughed, told me I have his permission to keep wearing the sling any time I am around the parents :)
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