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Thank you Gladimhere, I will check out the link you sent. Looker
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My brother is a hoarder, we’ve done the clean out twice with him (with his blessing) He’s redone the hoard, sadly, but there are some things that helped that I gleaned from my reading on the subject of cleaning out. One is to take a pile of one thing, say books, make a pile of twenty and quickly decide on five to keep and donate the rest. The other is linked to the first, and that is quick decisions, it’s crucial with my brother and it was also recently was for me in cleaning out my father’s home. When you spend a lot of time mulling over an object, it doesn’t get any easier. Just go with a quick decision, it’s very rare that you’ll find yourself regretting letting go of something that your first instinct was to toss or donate. Best wishes in this
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Looker Sep 2020
Dear Daughterof1930, That sounds really good. Thank you. Looker
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I am a neat freak who loves collections, collecting, junk shops, etc. So you can imagine the pull in my head. Were it not for my severe control issues I would likely be a hoarder. When we moved to a smaller place 20 years ago I got rid of 1/2 my life. Best thing I ever did. Now I am known as the lady who puts the "best stuff" out on the street for others. Gave up all collections but two; I tease I will begin again next life.
Hoarding is a mental issue that precludes any of that. Were I to come to your house I guess I would say "Looker; have you USED this in the last year" and your answer is no, then out it goes. Starting in one corner you work your way in, knowing it is slow, knowing you cannot bring in more.
I don't honestly think a hoarder can do this alone. I think you need someone NOT FAMILY who is an organizer who would assist.
I admire your intention. I hope you will be us updated. For me, keeping things neat kind of keeps my "head" from getting so cluttered. Our homes often reflect our inner feelings.
Wishing you so much luck and admiring your attempts at this.
I guess I don't believe in the box for donating, box for saving and box for throwing because because in these days no one wants donations and the keep box is the one that fills. If it is good stuff put it at the curb. The general public will let you know quickly enough if it is REALLY good stuff.
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Looker Sep 2020
Alva Deer, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thorough reply. Looker
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Is this for your own stuff or a family members?

I struggle with hoarding. My Dad is a full blown hoarder and I never want to get to that stage.

My problems are linked to 2 traumatic events in my life where I had no control, I was scared, my support systems had collapsed and I hung on to stuff, because it was the only thing I could control.

In trying to clear out, I would find things that triggered all the feelings from the trauma and I would freeze. I would be unable to function.

I have taken a slow and steady approach. But most importantly I have hired a lovely woman to help me. We started 16 months ago and have met about 12 times. We do one room at a time.

We have the trash, donate and recycle bags, I just want stuff gone so I do not have a sell pile. When one of the trigger items comes up, I tell Carolin it has to disappear, I leave the room and come back later. I do not touch the trigger item.

I have 100’s of books, after donating a few 100. Over the winter I will sort and shelve them.

I am a quilter and I need to sort my fabrics, notions and tools. Again a winter project.

I have a ways to go, but the slow and steady approach is working for me.
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Looker Sep 2020
Dear Tothill, thank you for your kind reply. I sympathize with the traumatic events in your life. Slow and steady sounds good to me. Looker
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Whenever Ive downsized, I've used the 3 pike method.

1. One pile is discard.
2. One pile is donate
3. One pile is keep.

From the keep pile, you then identify the place it goes.

Do this for maybe 10 minutes a day. As GA says, if you get "stuck" either relax for a while or move on to another task. Good luck!
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Looker Sep 2020
Dear BarbBrooklyn, You have hit the nail on the head: identify the place it goes. I see I need shorter work sessions and more relaxing breaks. Thanks for the insight. Looker
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Looker, when you get stuck, can't think clearly, or just feel tired of the situation, that's the time for a break.  Read, listen to music, watch tv (nature or animal programs especially), go for a walk.   Redirect and refresh your thoughts.

If you're having trouble categorizing, make a list of items to keep, donate or discard, and standards for each.
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Looker Sep 2020
Dear GardenArtist, What do you mean by standards for the keep categories? Looker
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I would start by googlng sorting skills for hoarding, there are many hits that may help.

https://hoarding.iocdf.org/professionals/treatment-of-hoarding-disorder/treatment-of-hd-skills-training/

Therapy may be helpful.
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