Hi, new here. I am an RN, single and lived in a beautiful mountain area. I have moved to suburbia (don't like it as I am a big outdoor person) to care for my elderly mother. I still have my home in the mtns. which needs major repairs and I am caring for mom 24/7. She has always been critical of me and made me feel bad in many ways thru the years. As much as I miss my home, I am OK being here as she needs the care. But, when I mentioned that I would need financial help for my mortgage, etc. and just money for things like my car fuel, upkeep, etc. never mind just some extra for me, she balked at $500/wk. My mom can easily afford this but thinks it is WAY too much.
Is the amount I asked for too much?? She'd pay a lot more for an aide or companion. I don't want to be rich (evidently) but be able to have a little spending money for me. I feel hurt. I have already saved her life by holding some of the meds the MDs discharged her on which would have dropped her BP to 0 if given as prescribed. I don't want an award, just for her to appreciate my value and that I care for her enough to give up my life and she should care for me in this way.
As for your Mom thinking $500 per week is too much, and if she needs around the clock care, that would come to $3.32 per hour. Ok, if Mom sleeps through the night, then it would be $4.47 per hour for 16 hours per day. Maybe using in terms of "per hour", Mom might then feel that is too low.
If you were working at a hospital or at a doctor's office, you would have your salary... probably health insurance which in itself is quite expensive for the hospital/doctor to give as a benefit... payroll taxes for your Social Security and Medicare.... paid vacation/sick days.... possible life insurance, and other benefits. If your Mom never worked outside of the house, she may not understand all that is involved in today's world of employment.
And yes, my Mom gets up a few times a night at least (and of course, so do I) so I guess I would be earning $3.32 per hour …. with no vacations, time off, sick days (geesh! I must be insane!!)
But these red flags jumped out at me:
"She has always been critical of me and made me feel bad in many ways thru the years."
"I don't want an award, just for her to appreciate my value and that I care for her enough to give up my life and she should care for me in this way."
We read so many posts like yours on this forum: adult children of abusive or difficult parents giving up their own lives to, I assume, try to finally earn the love they deserve.
Please rethink this situation.