Saw the checkbook and was shocked to see $300 to Charity A, $200 to charity B. Two weeks later, the same again with another charity given $100. How can I stop this? Pretty soon there will be nothing for his future. I did call charity A but they said they can only reduce the number of mailings, not remove his name.
I often feel that charity fundraisers have hearts of stone. They can target people who are older because they tend to give more money than others. Then they can put people on a "sucker list" if they give a donation. They sell this list to other charities. Someone who gives once may find himself the target of multiple charities looking for money.
I've had limited success calling the bank and the so called called charities to get the charges reversed even though I have financial POA. Ultimately my only choice if this continues will be to get the charge card away from him and supply him with just enough cash to get by. It will be ugly but it may have to be done. I'd rather have him pissed off than squander thousands on these crooks.
If the dear generous man is not competent to make decisions in his own best interests and you have his POA, then you have a lot more flexibility to do things like limit the funds he has access to.
You will also be able to call the cc companies and request a new card number be sent to the PO box. You will then have a cc in the name of parent, but the old one won't work. When you go out with gramps, you can supply a prepaid card that you pay for out of the checking account.
This requires that you have your name on checking as POA. Get gramps to the bank before he is completely out of his wits, as the bank has to have original signatures on their own forms - brokerage houses also. Don't make these joint accounts, but POA accounts so that you can pay the bills. "if he's in the hospital, or if the property taxes come due and he is unable to find the bill."
For any Cdns, it was refreshing to see the recent show they did on the many challenges with redeeming airmiles... along with their coverage of the one person who complained to the gov't, the laws were recently changed in ON.. this enforced the conglomerate to ease their rules)
Squeaky wheel gets the grease. This is a topic that needs public discussion. Lets be like the guy in Ontario who enabled fairness for all of Canada with one issue.
Different situation, but hopes as just one complains, then another... willfully sucking money out of those who's brains are incapable of proper decision-making is a vile act & should be made illegal.
This tactic did work as her mailbox has little to no solicitations and her phone definitely rings less. I understand this may not work as well for others who do not live with their parent, but other tactics of using a p.o. Box to divert their mail would work well also. It really is a shame that you have to do these things to keep your loved ones from predators, but my tactic worked well I haven't had to send any letters for a few months now. i hope this helps
He routinely brings in the mail. So beating him to the mailbox is not part of the solution. He usually listens to me when I tell him those are SCAM letters, and need to go into the trash.
Now for the phone calls:
We both have android cell phones. I took our phones to the shop and asked a tech person to do this:
The only time his phone RINGS is when me, my children or his children initiate a phone call. All other phone calls he get are silent, do not even vibrate the phone. He keeps his phone in its holster on his belt. Thank God.
Every evening I check his phone and delete all the SPAM calls he received. Sometimes there are as many as SIX. If I have time, I put those numbers on a reject list.
So far this has worked. So far.
Oh, and also, as he is still able to drive, but SHOULD NOT, (he gets lost) and sometimes gets into his pickup truck and leaves without telling me, I am able to track him with a gps device on his phone. I have had to go find him before 2 towns away. As long as his phone is charged up, and he is wearing it, I can keep up with him. He is VERY physically fit. He walks 2 to 3 miles a day, up and down hills. I am 74 and can barely keep up with him.
Eventually though, it became apparent that he really couldn't understand anything about budgeting, so we started just giving him cash several times a week. That's worked very well. It was a long, miserable fight though.
She still pays the major bills with a check, but my POA brother gets a cc of her bank acct each month. She can buy what she wants, but on a limited income and with many, many meds that require huge co-pays..she's limited.
She gets a ton of mail everyday. Used to get tons of calls, too. Some years ago I showed this trick: You ask the caller of the charity to tell you what percentage of what they raise goes to the actual charity. (By law, they HAVE to disclose this.) Then I ask for a printed invoice of their contracts. By then they have usually lost interest in you.....but that also makes sure they likely won't call again. AND many charities actually end up giving ZERO of what they raise, since the workers are paid FIRST.
Mother recently got a cell phone which she doesn't know how to use at all, so the scammers quit calling her. We can't get to mail before she does, she greets her mailman with a handful of "Hershey's Kisses" each day. She does get a TON of stuff begging for money in the mail, but luckily, I was able to explain to her that they were no better than telemarketers and to choose where to spend her "charitable" funds. I also have been known to toss her "begging for money" mail in the recycle bin before she sees it. About all we can do--everyone has to figure out this on their own, what works with their folks.
https://dmachoice.thedma.org
to opt out of all these junk mailings. You can also go to https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0262-stopping-unsolicited-mail-phone-calls-and-email
To get info on how to opt out of other kinds of communication. I've done this for myself as well and really get very few mailings. When I do, I call the organization and tell them to take my name off their list, which they are required by law to comply. Hope this is helpful.
Once he agreed and I wrote letters which he returned, advising that he has no money. Still, like certain undesirable insects, they kept coming.
On the second link you posted, there's a blurb about the Dept. of Motor Vehicles and limitations on information it releases. It's slightly inaccurate, at least for Michigan, which releases voter information to political parties. It doesn't release actual voter preferences, but does release information on who voted and when.
One of the solicitations I got from the Democratic Party provided a list of my neighbors who voted and those who didn't! I was so furious, but calling did absolutely nothing b/c according to the person with whom I spoke, they're required by law to release the names of people who voted and who didn't. Likely some politician(s) made sure they could get access to this voter information.
So from then on, when I got more solicitations, I contacted the candidate (if I could locate him/her - most of the individuals didn't even post phone numbers) and told them they would lose my vote b/c of the harassment. And I didn't vote for them!
Once I spent quite a bit of time collecting so-called charities' e-mails and sent e-mails to a few dozen of them. A few stopped, but most of them just ignored the e-mails.
I'm trying something different now; I'm going to call them and ask them how much money they can send me or what they can do for me, and pretend that I thought that's why they're sending me solicitations.
If they try, as did Doctors w/o Borders, to override my demand for no more solicitations, I'm going to start railing on how poor I am and keep telling them I thought they wanted to give ME money. And I'll keep calling, moving up the chain of command until I annoy some exec. who might just get the message and take my name off their lists.
So I tried that; it's a fun way to annoy telemarketers.
Does your dad have dementia? Do you have POA?
I got a PO Box. I explained the situation to the local post office and they worked with me. When the mail stopped coming, she freaked out, because it became her job. Every day, she would look forward to the mailman coming and she would go through her mail for hours. It was like an addiction. She also started to hide the mail from me.
Also I talked to the local bank manager and they were very concerned about mom, she had multiple issued with overdrawing etc. If you have POA - you may want to get access to dad's accounts.
Anything that had a return prepaid envelope, I would send back stating that she wasn't contributing. It actually took about 1 year for the junk to stop.
Anyway, to try and make this a shorter story, I took over paying her bills two years ago and brother is POA and she is running short on funds. If it comes down to it, she will be in a Medicaid run facillity.
Whatever you can do to stop this spending before it gets worse, just do it........
I would caution that you need to get his checking account, credit cards away from him and in your control ASAP. These scammers are heartless and don't care if their stories for help or promising the moon leave your loved one out in the street.
My mother can now see how wrong that was to give her money away but now way too late. (I had talked many times to her about giving her personal information away to someone over the phone.)
I would say don't wait till it's too late after someone has talked him out of everything he has with a good story.
Stepping down off soapbox now.