92 yo bedbound mother, chronic UTI, CHF, on daily nitro patch, recently began having erratic HR (26/39/56/87/110) in a rapid and sporadic manner, once or twice a day... this morning had pain in chest; gave two sublingual nitros and it resolved (not first time, but been months since last episode). Yesterday noticed bruises on the bottom of one of her feet. Looked like true bruising - not speckled mottling? Noticed another bruise on outside of her calf tonight... Bruises are confusing to me as they are not speckled and mottled...Just trying to prepare. She has given me soooo many false alarms, I feel a bit numb. (false alarms due to my lack of experience - not any kind of manipulation on her part!)
She is still alert, talking, eating, drinking, pooping and peeing...
Also she doesn't seem to know she is drawing close?? I am a bit lost about how to or whether to talk to her about this? In the past when I thought she was about to go, we had talked about it and she had joked about "finding the button and pushing it" or "having Scotty beam her up" and more recently, that she didn't know "how to go"....
But hasn't been any conversations like this of late.... She is such a private person.... I am reluctant to bring it up...and don't know how to proceed. She has always said she wants to be alone when she goes...
Advise?
Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. Good to know the 3 signs....
I appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Lainey
I appreciate the counsel to give her some alone time.... It is a delicate balance. I want to be there to give her the nitros - which stop the pain...
Thank you again for speaking up. Sorry you have regrets with your mother. This dying business is certainly not easy. God bless you!
As for the rest, are you not getting any guidance from hospice? If you are unsure you shouldn't hesitate to call them, that's what they are supposed to be there for. I do believe that we have some ability to choose out exit time so don't sit in constant vigil, allow her some time alone too.