My 91 year old father lived alone but has increasing trouble with forgetfulness and daily needs. He can dress himself, walk on his own, play the piano and be very charming and with it but then he forgets what happened in the present. He makes numerous phone calls to all our siblings because he can't remember that he just called.This caregiver is trying to train my father to rely solely on him and to change things that my father used to do and that brought him comfort. My brother stayed upstairs in the evenings and the caregiver wants him out and wants us not to pick up my fathers phone calls . I
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Now, you mentioned they want to "train" the elder, (what they really want to do is coerce them out of everything they have that's of any value). You really need to do your homework and wise up about elder abuse, including but not limited to elder financial abuse. Abuse can happen to anyone at any age from any life stage
Special warning:
I don't know where your elder is located, but if this happens to be anywhere within Lorain county Ohio, you may want to have a heads up because there's a lady in her 50s who also took advantage of my bio dad home later developed Alzheimer's. She became his POA, moved in with him, then took advantage of him when she used her POA to change the beneficiary on his ford motor life insurance policy through UniCARE. I'm dealing with the aftermath of this right now as we speak, there's a pending lawsuit. Please don't end up in the same situation I'm dealing with right now, these types of cases can be long and aggravating. I'm just warning you from experience because I'm dealing with the aftermath of elder financial abuse.
Apparently your elder has some money/assets or this vulture wouldn't be doing what they're doing to gain everything and benefit themselves. This person doesn't care about your loved one, you can bet this person has other plans.
What you want to do is immediately fire this vulture. I don't know how long they've been working for you, but I wouldn't give them another dime.
Does this vulture work for an agency? If so, immediately call the agency and report it now before it's too late and your elder ends up broke, it will happen. If this is just a private individual, I would definitely make a police report. If this person has a car, get the license plate number so that you have a better reference of who this person is and then go for a permanent restraining order.
Now, do a background check and look in the public records to see if this person has been in trouble before. If so, post it all over every social media service out there and warn everyone, especially if you can get a picture of this person to include in those posts. You don't know how many more people this person has actually targeted and everyone unsuspecting who has not yet been hit really needs a fair warning that'll prevent exactly what others have already been through
Another thing I noticed you mentioned is this person is actually a "new" caregiver. This is a sure sign of financial abuse or at very least planned action of it. Vultures planning attack first to make preparations by keeping everyone away from the victim, this is exactly what happened to my foster dad. I actually had two different dad's, a bio dad and a foster dad later on because my bio dad was never much of a father to me. I may not have the money to fight the professional guardian to remove her and overturn the guardianship me or dad even saw coming, but I can sure get my story out there and tell everyone what happened and expose this person for who she really is. The last time I saw him, he was being handled roughly and there was definitely tension in the air that particular day. This was the second abuse I saw at that same nursing home from that same particular ward.
Now, you can take steps to protect your loved one's finances, and I hope this elderly person who is being targeted isn't carrying any cash in their wallet. If they are, get a hold of that wallet and put their cash in their bank account and leave it there. Lock up any and all check box and expensive jewelry. I would talk to the bank and let them know what's going on but try to find out if this victim has a joint bank account with this abuser. If so, tell them what's going on and what you told us here, they should be of great help.
By law banks mandatory reporters. You can also call the APS and report what you told us here and you can even remain anonymous. When you check the person's wallet, grab all cards and lock them up, I personally would go for a safety deposit box at a bank you trust but go for the victim's bank and speak with the bank manager privately and then have the manager take the victim privately by themselves into their office but you wait in the lobby after speaking with the manager. That way, the manager sees you're not up to no good if you're willing to wait for your loved one in the lobby and let the manager deal with this. They're supposed to know their customers' banking patterns, which is a way they help protect you. I can't stress enough how important it is to keep all of your money in the bank and just go all digital. Going digital means there's a record kept with your bank of every one of your transactions. This is partly why I don't carry cash no more or do any business with cash only places. Cash can also get lost or stolen, (especially if you happen to accidentally lose your wallet). Also situations like yours are perfect examples of why it's best to keep it all in the bank. That way, if a vulture happens to show up, they'll quickly fly the coop when they realize they can't get nothing from you. It seems funny when you run into wealth, you have friends and even so-called relatives, out of the cracks until that wealth is gone and they vanish. I don't know if you have any idea how important it really is to protect yourself, especially as you get older. The earlier you start, the better because the smarter you'll become especially after doing your homework and learning what others have been through. You never really know how serious this is until you yourself have a situation fall into your own lap when it gets that close to home. That's when you start wising up and I think what happened with my bio dad is exactly what it took for me to wise up and start getting smarter with my own money. It's not the money I use to pay the bills, it's my extra money after bills and groceries that I had to become smarter with. It's good to enjoy shopping, but people often overspend until they're broke. If you ever wonder why America is in financial ruins, that's only one good example. It took a vulture secretly taking advantage of my vulnerable dad to realize how important it is for me to start preparing for my own future. When you're in a situation where no one will finance you for a car alone just because you don't When you're in a situation where no one will finance you for a car alone just because you don't make enough money have enough income have enough income, you come to the point of realizing you don't have no other choice but to cut out all extra spending and not spend another dime until you get a car. It's not until you have something hit close to home that you realize sometimes you hit situations that require desperate actions. When you get desperate, your actions show it.
Right now, someone needs to take over the finances for this elder who needs their money for their own needs. It sounds like this person probably needs to be in a facility where they can get the right help but be careful, not all nursing homes are equal. Set your standards high and only go for five star rating and nothing less. It seems funny the vulture in this person's life must know they have something or they wouldn't be pulling this trick you're describing. If this person can't manage their own finances no more, someone trustworthy needs to do it for them before all the money and valuables are gone. Apparently this vulture knows something, and when vultures find out what you have, then they make their move but not until they find something they want. This is why you really need to round up everything of value and get a hold of it before the vulture does, even if you need to take the police with you to help you get this done. When handling someone else's wealth, don't be tempted. For too many people this is easier said than done but you're actually better to hire a guardian who really doesn't need the money. Of course having a guardian is always a risk even if they don't need the money because professional guardians can also be vultures. Sometimes you just don't have a choice if someone develops dementia or Alzheimer's, but I'm glad new medications and other treatments are being discovered to slow down progress and keep patients independent longer. What I would do now is see about researching to see how diet may also be able to help slow down or even reverse mental decline. The more you can have this person restored, the better