For those of you reading my story via previous posts (I would suggest reading them, this is better than fiction), it has come to a climactic point. I was served with an Order of Protection from my cousin, barring me from seeing my grandmother with a ridiculous story attached. Even stating I threatened both of them at gun point trying to extort money. Attached to this letter was a blanket Power Of Attorney! I was dismayed. I was sure no document existed, and couldn't figure how he was able to get one right under my nose!! Then I looked at it closely.
Its the signature page from some banking transactions affixed to a blanket POE. Its an obvious fraud!!! I mean VERY obvious, different font, references the bank, references chapters and paragraphs that don't exist, etc...
How do I properly present this to the court on Monday. I have no time, or money to get a lawyer. This has all drained me and my family. I was served at 5pm on Friday for court on Monday.
This is what I want to happen:
I want a court order trust to take over care of her financials effective immediately.
I obviously want this ridiculous Order against me dropped.
I would love for him to be arrested, even for a short time, till we can see the extent of the damage.
I feel like this is the long shot, but I would like his apartment searched. My grandmother went through a phase where she was running around trading CDs and stuff. He may have access to accounts even I don't know about and/or have cash hidden (she was a pack rat).
Is any of this possible? I have never had any luck with law enforcement. I don't think I'm dramatic enough... I have a very calm demeanor, seems to make them nervous.
Do I type up motions?
Do I just ask?
Run in there ranting?
I have no idea what to do...
Thank you in advance!
THAT is not going to go down well in family court.
Look, most demented elders want to "go home". It is either simply not affordable for them to have 24/7 in-home care, or it's just not enough care for them. In home care givers aren't nurses.
I always compare what my very wealthy and willful Aunt and Uncle had (24/7 "aides" -- folks doing their bidding) vs. what my mom had--middling grade NH care; professionals around the clock and specialist doctors at the ready when something untoward occurred. My mom got MUCH better care on every objective measure.
That's YOUR interpretation of what being GMA's 24/7 caregiver would be. NOTHING could be further from the truth.
I am asking how to stop this ASAP before he has time to liquidate and/or hide things. There has to be a way... The forged POE is sufficient probable cause in my opinion to at least try.
Home care would actually be less expensive than the AL she is in. Actually by far... She clearly stated her wishes. She wants to die at home and doesn't want her life's work and accomplishments squandered (who doesn't).
I am trying very hard to be the good guy here, set an example for my kids, and the rest of leeching family that turned their backs at the first sign of conflict.
If the Grandkids are grade school age or younger, it is not a good mix for an elder with memory issues. The kids should have a memory of Grandmother as this cuddly warm person who is always smiling.... not an elder who will go into different phases of dementia some of which could turn to be violent, and her becoming very jealous of the grandchildren.
I had placed my Mom, who was 97 at the time, into long-term-care because of her serious memory loss, as I wasn't skilled to help her. Even though my Mom was around 85 lbs, it took 2 people to lift her out of bed and into her wheelchair. Something I couldn't do as that 85 lbs was like an 85 lb weight at the gym.
Even in long-term-care, I had learn everything I could about dementia, so I could even talk with Mom. I was using "theraputic fibs" on a regular basis to help her not be so confused. My Mom needed professional around the clock care, big time.
Is the investigation you started with APS proceeding?
As for the disrespect to the Sandy responders - refusing to comply with evacuation requests puts other people in danger - it is not all about you, as they say. Your grandmother may have very strong opinions, but life may not comply with her wishes.
She had a stroke, left side paralysis. In addition to our talks in the past about being home, she made myself and my wife promise to take her home when in the hospital. We put her in temp AL to modify the home for that purpose. Then the stalling started from the cousin, later turning to terrorism.
She was listed as combatant because she wanted to go home, so he upped the dose. As i countered, he barraged with doctors (basically throwing $$ at it). Changing insurances, paying for out of pocket doctors, etc... Kidnapped. Administered "mood altering" drugs - drugged.
She is literally a hostage, and everyone praises the staff for their tolerance. Every generation feels they know best, but the truth is we are severely over medicating. But this is topic for another day.
I have to save this woman Monday. I have a badly forged POE, a hostile, scared, over funded cousin with all the time and money to make my life hell, and serious loss of fortitude to deal with.
My stress on the fraudulent POA is that he has tortured us with it for months. Assuming its completely obvious, I know there is correct move to make. Someone knows the move... I don't.
My best good luck to you and GMA.
But withoutapaddle, I fear it is you who are missing the point. The Protection Order has been applied for on the grounds that you are alleged to have made violent threats which place your grandmother at risk of serious harm; the POA has absolutely nothing to do with this, nobody even needs POA to make an application for a Protection Order. Will you be able to satisfy the court that you did no such thing?
They were not dated and general allegations except for his recount of the day I visited her. I wasn't alone anyway, I was in the place for only a few minutes and met with the director to revoke my cousin as a contact for any reason. I mean any ridiculous allegations come down to character anyway - I guess that depends on the judge. I was never good at the he said she said stuff...
However, even if I did everything he said, it would be up to her caregiver or guardian to file an order of protection on her behalf based on his story. I think its important to stop this reign of tyranny, he has been way out of control.
Be careful that your words are straightforward and factual. "Kidnapping" has a specific meaning. So does "hostage" and "drugged." And I've never heard of a Power Of Attorney referred to as a POE. (Maybe the court has --?) It is fine to express your opinions in hyperbole here or with friends, but I doubt that is the best approach in court.
You've said more than once that "we" put GM in a "temporary" Assisted Living facility after her stroke, so that you could get her house prepared for her new needs. Then you come along and claim that she was kidnapped. What? Can you see why we are confused. It seems we have to get every point clarified, and more than once.
I assume you didn't bring GM home because the house wasn't ready -- right? And why was that? Because financial POA would not release funds for it? If that is what happened, that seems very straight forward to explain. You don't need emotional (and confusing) words. Or have I still got this story wrong?
About the drugs. That was totally your responsibility. Did you take/send your Medical Proxy document to the doctor's office and state that all medical decisions must go through you? Did you arrange to meet with the doctor that you think is overmedicating GM, and get an explanation? Have you talked to the Director of Nursing at the ALF to get their view? Since you are complaining about her medical treatment and you are the one she appointed to be in charge of that, I'm wondering what you've done in the last year to try to improve things? You don't have to answer us -- just be aware this might be confusing to people.
I don't imagine much of this will come up Monday. I think that will probably be limited to whether or not there is cause to keep you away from cousin and/or GM. But the blizzard we are having today is interfering with my crystal ball, so I could be wrong!
I hope it goes well for you on Monday. Come back and educate us on the process!
I will update (Chapter 4), and thank you all!
Will he have a witness to back up his allegations that you made a threat? Do you have a witness to counter what happened? I'd be concerned that someone from the AL home will be there to testify regarding what you said.
Otherwise, focus 100% on the information that shows that the POE contains fraudulent information. Judges hate forgery. Especially forgery on a court document. If s/he agrees with you, then you will have the credibility to press the issue that you have reason to believe that your cousin is 'financially exploiting' Grandma.
Most people in court without an attorney let their emotions get away from them and start off on a tangent. Assume that you will only have 2 minutes to present your case. Write down and practice what you want to say in 2 minutes. S/he doesn't care about the back story. The judge may give you more time, but don't count on it. But if he/she does give you more time, use the next 2 minutes to present the most important information. And if the judge asks you a question, give a short answer with the most important information. Hopefully this will prompt the judge to ask for more information.
Wear business-like clothing. Think 'church clothes.' Arrive 30-60 minutes early and observe. Prepare copies of any documents that you want the court to consider so that you can give them to the judge. Organize and label your paperwork so that you aren't flipping through things.
Hmmmm. So he gets an order of protection, barring YOU from seeing GMA.
Sounds very much like a family squabble to the court.
You mention that it would have to be " her caregiver, or guardian" who filed for an order of protection. Does GMA have a guardian? You mentioned in a previous post that you were going to file for guardianship. Did you? If you have filed for guardianship, it's important to document that at this hearing. Getting guardianship is going to cost several thousand dollars.
How did you make requests for funds to be released for home modification? To GMA? Or to cousin?
If you were overheard at NH asking for GMA to release monies, that might be misinterpreted as extortion by someone who doesn't know it's gma's home, not yours, being modified.
Is it possible that GMA complains about you to cousin?
Have you told GMA you suspect cousin is stealing her money?
Have you talked to Gma's lawyer about any of this?
Do you pay rent to Gma?
I'm not trying to argue with you. I don't need you to answer. I'm just bringing up points that may be raised in court.
SO we entered court and the judge interrupted me stating Adult Protective Services is postponing the case. Apparently I got to the right people. I am starting Guardianship as of tomorrow, the DA has started an investigation and things are rolling along.
I am subject to A LOT of harassment at this point, but I look at it as a victory cheer :)
Right now it seems we went from nothing, to 100 things in the air... I will update when some start o land.
Barbara TY for hugs and wishes, they help!