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This is very strange! The woman is in memory care, but yet is able to give this man a phone number to call the OP? And mom is able to tell OP that this man bought her a haircut and style and color?

Why is mom in memory care? And are you really a guardian? Something does not add up. Your profile says mom lives with you? What is the story?
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The fact that she is in memory care says that she shouldn’t be going off with this man, especially since you claim that your mom is an escape artist.

Why is he paying for her salon bill? I would object to him to paying for these services. Tell her that in the future you expect her to pay for her own services.

Can you notify the salon and ask them not to accept payments from this man? I wonder if he pays for other women’s hair appointments.

You said that you haven’t met this man. You don’t know anything about him. I wouldn’t accept any gifts from him because he may not be giving them out of the ‘goodness’ of his heart. He may expect something in return from your mom for his generosity.

Your mom is vulnerable and probably feels that his payment to the salon very flattering.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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No, this man should absolutely not be allowed to take your mother outside of the facility property. She is in memory care because her dementia is too advanced for her to remain at the assisted living part of the facility.
You most certainly can set some boundaries. Make sure the staff at her memory care is aware of this relationship and that this man is not allowed to spend time with your mother anywhere but the common areas of the memory care.
No going into her room or anywhere else even semi-private. She cannot give consent for sex because she is not mentally competent to. Her "friend" should also be told this as well as being told in no uncertain terms that if he were to go ahead and attempt sex with her, he could be arrested for sexual assault on a person with diminished capacity.
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Hell yes you should “let” her.
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sp19690 Jan 2023
Really a woman with dementia whose memory is so poor she has to be in memory care and whose disease is making her hypersexual should be allowed to date and scr*w this predator?
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Memory Care is locked, on both sides.

Why is this man even allowed to get into the MC?

If someone is in MC, they cannot give legal consent. And, since she is not competent to give consent, you should not give consent, either. Your job is to look out for her welfare.
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sp19690 Jan 2023
Thank you.
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All factors considered, I'd say no to allowing your mom outside of the premises on a date with this man. Being that her dementia renders her hypersexual, as you said, this sounds like a recipe for disaster. And what is a man from AL doing wanting to date a resident from Memory Care??? Highly suspicious in my opinion. If they both lived in Memory Care and wanted to spend time together, that would feel better to me than this fish story. I'd tell this man to get lost and then alert the staff that he is NOT to take your mother off the grounds nor is he to pay for any further services on her behalf. That feels CREEPY to me 😑
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sp19690 Jan 2023
Damn straight. Sounds like the old man was and still is a sexual predator.
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You need to become familiar with how a psychopath targets vulnerable women.

He has already found her unsuitable in grooming by gifting her a beauty treatment.
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
Not necessarily. My old man gave me a delightful spa weekend as a New Year's gift. He also pays for my stylist. Since I was married to him and am currently engaged to be married to him again, I'd say he does not find me unsuitable.
There's nothing wrong with getting her a beauty treatment or with him spending time with her. So long as it is in the memory care facility and under supervision.
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In my opinion the man is a predator. She should not be allowed to go out of memory care with this man. Obviously she is not capable of consent with this man due to dementia. If she was in assisted living and not memory care it would be a differnt story.
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