I met a wonderful guy through a reputable online dating app. We’ve been texting daily in the app for a month and there’s a definite connection. I’m in my early 50s, he’s in his early 60s. I’m impressed and touched at the way he cares for his dad who is in his late 80s. He doesn’t complain, he cooks, cleans, shops, jokes with his dad, and makes his life as pleasant as possible. I asked him his plans for the future and he said that he will take care of his father until the end. Then he wants to turn up his romantic life, travel and do him. I’m glad he has a plan for his own happiness. Right now though, getting to know him has been a challenge. We text a few lines and then he has to get back to caregiving. Most times it’s near midnight after he has gotten his dad to bed and done the evening chores. He texts me, texts a line or two and then nothing; Poor exhausted fellow falls asleep and I’m left hanging. He’ll eventuality wake up in the wee hours of the night to send an apology. So far, I’ve not gotten angry. How can I? But how am I supposed to get to know him with little snippets of texts each day? We have talked on the telephone. And I did have a background check run on him, and everything checks out. We have both made it clear that we like each other a lot. And I think he’s worth being patient for. How do we make this work when his day is so circumscribed that there’s no time of day to have his undivided attention to get off a meaningful conversation or just finish a conversation? Am I asking too much? I’m not asking to be number one or number anything. His father is and should be the priority. Every day is a gift at that age. What should my expectations be in this blossoming relationship? He has expressed that he does not want to lose me. Please bring on the advice.
There is no scheduled time to allow for a text or even a phone call. When you get a minute, and remember what you're doing, you do it.
It's interesting that you say you don't want to be number one, you have a pretty good understanding of what he does all day, yet you want advice on how to have a meaningful, complete conversation. Sorry, but I don't see that happening. His dad is the priority and his life is on hold for now. If what you get is not enough, this is not the guy who can give you more right now.
Hope that you don’t feel harassed. Glad that you are taking it slow and truly hope it works out for you. If not with this guy, then another person.
Might not be a bad idea to consider other options too. I can appreciate that you feel a connection with him.
My only intention was for you not to be harmed. You haven’t agreed to meet him so I do believe that you are taking it slow and assessing the situation carefully. You have done background checks.
Best of luck in finding new friends or promising romances.