Before her surgery, my mother said she wouldn't treat it if she had cancer. But in front of the doctor, she said yes. The tumor was very large (11 inches) and wrapped around several organs. She weathered the surgery like a champ. Still waiting on the pathology report, which has been sent to Stanford. The type of tumor she has is very rare.
Any comments appreciated.
Good for you asking the questions and doing the research by the way, not simply jumping in to treatments. This is not to say when you have all the info you need chemo won’t be the path you both choose of course but better to go into it with eyes wide open rather than tunnel vision. Thinking of you through this battle.
RN, OCN.....retired.
Chemo is so rough on the elderly. She’s 85.
Most of her years are gone. Let her know that you love her and when it’s her time she won’t be suffering from chemotherapy.
I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.
Check out Chris Wark for more information. Chrisbeatscancer!
My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer over 11 years ago. The surgery was a great success, but the oncologist wanted him to do follow up chemo. I researched the side effects he would deal with and he said NO. The chemo would have made him an invalid for who knows how long. The surgeon was thankful when my husband made that decision because he didn't think it was in my husband's best interest. My husband is 68 years old, still works full time, is planning to expand our garden this year, and is SO thankful he did NOT do the chemo. Ask the doctor if he will be there to clean up the vomit.
There are new things that are being discovered right now that sound wonderful. I truly believe we are on the verge for a cure to most cancers.
i agree, about asking for other options!
dear ThisIsntFun,
i think you should avoid chemotherapy.
i have a friend (mother with cancer), doctor urged chemo, friend was against it, doctor kept insisting, mother went ahead with chemo. it was terrible. only made things worse. she died. doctor later said sorry, she shouldn't have done chemo.
It was tough to do, but I did find that only going on her wishes did make it easier in the end. I know, in both mind and heart we (me) what she wanted. By the way she lived to 98. God's blessings and care for both of you. This is not an easy time for either of you. Hugs and comfort!
My mother, at 75 told me they had spotted a lump in her breast on a mammogram and put her through stereotactic biopsy before she told me about it. I asked her why, at her age, she was still having mammograms? She said, "because the doctor ordered it" for her. The 'lump" she had was not cancer but fibrocystic disease, totally benign. If it had been cancer, the chances that it would have grown fast enough to be her cause of death were pretty low. Before she got the results, she had decided after a long talk with me, that she would not go through treatment as she had had friends that did who were miserable and regretted their decision to have chemo. She also decided to no longer have mammograms at her age. On her next visit to her primary care doc, she told him her decisions (no mammograms, no chemo for anything if something showed up, except palliative) and he wrote it in her chart. Luckily, this all happened prior to her mild mental decline when my dad died. She died at 82, 3 1/2 years after my dad died. She was miserable and depressed without him after 62+ years of marriage and I considered it a blessing for her.
She was so sick after the 6th round she was saying she wished she would die. I regretted begging her to go through the treatment.
Her doctor took her off chemo because she couldn’t tolerate it. I think he was concerned the chemo itself would take her. The side effects created permanent damage.
If you are following her wishes, that is the most important thing. Sometimes people change their minds when they have all the facts and the scenario is no longer hypothetical. Although she has been diagnosed with some dementia, her brain may work more effectively when faced with a crisis.
These are difficult times and it is so wonderful you are there for her. Lots of people disappear when facing such challenges.
IMPORTANT questions to ask are: How long has this drug been in use? It is still experimental? Would this be compassionate use? How long will it allow my mother to live? Again, get more than one opinion; do your research. I am a retired oncology nurse. The practice I worked for dealt mainly with ovarian cancer patients. Best to you and your mother.