My mom who is 83 might be coming to live with me. Since being in a rehab facility, she’s been wetting the bed almost every night. Advice?

Johnhusic,

UTI is urinary tract infection
MC is memory care facility

There are a few stores that cater to elder supply items.

Don't like to repeat myself, but I do know that often people post comments without reading all the previous responses.

Vinegar can be used to cut urine odor, but if you do this, do NOT add bleach to the laundry. They form a chemical reaction and the result is Chlorine Gas.

Repeat: DO NOT USE BOTH VINEGAR AND CHLORINE TOGETHER!

For some detail and other interesting do not mix items:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/16-common-product-combinations-you-should-never-mix

There's a product called Odoban or Odorban. Works pretty good to cut smells in fabrics. I get it at Sam's. There's also Gain original that works wonders. Any of the laundry detergents that have Fabreze are good. Put them in washer and let agitation start and then turn washer off to soak a while, then start again.
Some folks use vinegar in the washer to cut odor.
If she was not wetting bed prior to rehab, the problem is probably due to short staff not answering call buttons quick enough and the patients have no other choice. They just can't hold it long enough to wait on assistance. Problem may resolve in the home if you put a potty chair next to bed and get her up several time during the night to retrain the bladder to pee in pot and not in the pants. You might also add a pad or pull up in the beginning that can be tossed out.

I use washable chucks on Amazon. They never leaked. I put mom in underwear with a pad during the day. No issues with bed sores. At night Sams club pull ups with a Sams club pad inside. Rarely leaks. Then I wash the clothes and bed pads with Arm & Hammer Oxyclean. I pre spray the washable pads with Oxyclean.
Medline Softnit 300 Washable Underpads, Pack of 4 Large Bed Pads, 34" x 36",
You may find once she is out of rehab she is not incontinent. It was just no one coming to assist her. 5 years ago when mom broke her femur rehab said she was incontinent. Once home she was fine.

i used Arm&Hammer oxy fresh detergent. If you have BJ’s Club-they have a better adult disposable diaper which was much better than Depends and 10$ less per case of 92. I also had a waterproof mattress cover under the fitted sheet and put a disposable waterproof pad (paper on top/plastic backing) on top of the fitted sheet. From Walgreens. I also cut them in half to line his wheelchair later on. This worked very well sometimes put a towel on top of the pad to make it softer and stay in place. My dad could get to the bathroom and change these himself ( or change the underwear in bed himself. Self closing metal cans with disposable garbage bags were a great fit and controlled the odor. Yes UTI definitely made this worse

I put the urine clothing and bedding in washer and run a "rinse only" cycle with at least 1 cup of vinegar. You can also buy "Odo-Ban" but a gallon is about 10X the price of a gallon of vinegar. After that rinse cycle is done, I do a regular wash in warm water with detergent. I also buy the re-usable/washable Chux which are pads for bed that go underneath the person's mid-section for their bed or chair. They absorb the urine. I put the Chux on top of the sheet. I also put a disposable bed pad under the Chux because the Chux is not completely waterproof. For the bed buy Chux in large size in case it shifts during the night. They come in various sizes. I bought from Ebay. I got 4 for about $30. Let me know if you need more info.

So, plenty of suggestions here - disp briefs, waterproof mattress + bed pads, etc., plus laundry options (do heed my warnings about vinegar and bleach - big NONO!) Your profile indicates this plan to take mom in is temporary, but you also mention that her "mental and cognitive have declined.", so this plan may have to change. It all depends on finding out what is behind the night time bed wetting. Taking care of the issue and laundry is secondary - this should be the more important aspect.

While this is of concern (no idea why she's in hospital rehab, was it injury or stroke?) and should be checked, note there are other, often treatable, medical issues that can contribute to both the cognitive decline and bed wetting. If she had a stroke, it may be why her cognitive abilities have declined. If she had any anesthesia, it can also contribute to cognitive issues. Sometimes these can resolve over time (being in unfamiliar places, esp moving to hospital then rehab can also contribute to some confusion), but she should have a full checkup when she is ready to come "home" or as soon as possible after discharge, whether it is to your place or hers. She may not be able to pass the mini-mental exam, BUT it would be a baseline, so if her condition improves, it would be observable.

I did see someone finally mentioned the UTI. Your profile indicates she has had some issue with UTIs. When I first joined this forum, I was skeptical of the UTI comments, until it happened to my mother! She used to have UTIs several times/year when she was still competent, and would manage to get it checked/treated on her own. Many months after we moved her to MC, she got her first UTI there and had severe sun-downing (agitated, demanded she had to get out, go home, had guests, etc) This went on every day later in the day until the UTI was found and treated (it started on a Fri night, so no access to doc! Also, she would be "fine" in the morning!) We also had to add anti-anxiety until it was resolved.

So, your mother isn't having sun-downing, BUT, I wanted to mention the above because it IS a sign of UTI. Too often in elders there are no "typical" signs of UTI. That said, the next 2 UTIs mom had resulted in night time bed wetting - SOAKING everything! No sun-downing, just soaking the bed, herself, etc, even with disp briefs. Once it was found she had a UTI and it was treated, the bed wetting stopped. The nurse in charge realized this when the second episode of bed wetting happened, so it was found and treated sooner!

So, one component of that health check before she comes home or as soon as possible after is get her checked for UTI - the dip stick test may not be enough, you should request a urine culture, esp since she has a history of UTIs. It might be wise to see if this can be done NOW, before the planned discharge.

Meanwhile, you could start learning about dementia, researching what's available for services (hired aides for her home or yours) and facilities, because if this is dementia, eventually you ARE going to need help and/or find a place for mom. Being a working single mom is hard enough (been there, done that!), but if mom's care is going to be more than just providing a safe place temporarily, you are most likely to get in over your head!

Lysol laundry sanitizer,
"kills 99.9% of bacteria" 0% bleach

If mom has large amounts of urine, you can place a plastic shower curtain on the bed. I put a sheet over it so it is never next to the skin. Pad the bed with puppy pads or washable incontinence pads. Make sure to use depends at night.

Always check mom's skin for diaper rash. Toileting her every 2-3 hours while awake and cleaning skin well after changing depends will help.

If her urine smells "strong": make sure she is getting enough water (2 liters a day of fluids), does not have a UTI, and always wipes bottom from front to back. Antibiotics and other medications will tend to give urine an odor.

We do similar things in hospitals. Yup, I'm an RN.

You might want to toilet her every 2 hours while awake. Limit liquids after 6 pm. Talk to Dr to see if a script such as ditropan would help. In addition to the other suggestions.

I also use :
HME Medical Washable Quilted Incontinence Underpads, Moderate Absorbency, Colored, 34" x 36"
I found these on Walmart website. They are the exact ones they use where I leave my Mother for Respite. They come in different packs I got the pack of 3.

Arm & Hammer Plus OxiClean Odor Blasters Liquid Laundry Detergent ... Works wonders!!!! Clean up things everyday. Depends and diapers...pads on bed. Change everyday!

On a related note, I noticed our bath towels were seeming as bit musty so I started a few months ago with a simple laundry hack: (I use it for any laundry that needs a de-odorizing.)
After loading the clothes I start the washer, without soap, but add about 1/3-1/2 box of baking soda and about 1/2 cup plain white vinegar. Once the water starts filling, I pause the cycle and let the items soak. When I’m ready to start the cycle again ( usually a few hours or longer) I add the regular detergent and complete the cycle. I also skip fabric softener.
The clothes DO NOT smell of vinegar at all after drying but it really freshens them up. Hope this helps.

'''''''''''Washable 32 x 36 and large pads are available from Betty Mills 800 238-8964. Good luck.

I use Of Odoban with my detergent
Wax melts in the bedroom, behind a stand on the windowsill.
Put a towel under the sheet with "puppy pad". To protect the mattress & pad.
Vinyl flooring is great, but I also surround the bed with towels that I wash daily.
It's a challenge.
God bless.
Also, getting a rubber sheet is on my "to do" list

Bleach them. That’s what I use on undergarments. Also I buy puppy training pads xxl, put them under sheet with a towel on top of sheet where she’s sleeping. Be prepared and ready to do extra laundry. Best of luck.

Consider looking at the problem like having an Adult Baby. Put a liner on the mattress and let her wear Adult Diapers at night.

There are many things out there to help with urine smell like Clrox Urine Remover or putting Vinegar in your wash, ect.

Mom wets bed every night. I have found a few things work.
1. Get and start washing the wet things AS SOON AS SHE GETS UP. Mom gives me a bad time about getting the nightie, but time = smell.
2. I rinse soiled items with a cup of white vinegar (buy the store brand in big jug) then wash in warm water with Tide. Others have favorite detergents but Tide works for me.
3. Whenever possible, I put sheets, bed pads, nighties, etc. outside to dry. Sunshine is a natural disinfectant and leaves smelling good. I run those items in dryer on "fluff" cycle with dryer balls to soften.
Sounds like a lot of work. It is, but you develop a routine.

GOOD luck and if you learn something, pass it on.

My Mother has LBD doesn’t get up all night, And sits mostly all day in her recliner. If she tells me she has to go pee it’s usually number 2.
I was using Depends with an inner liner didn’t work, I have found the answer haven’t had a wet bed In 6 months, I use amfincontinence.com. I get my mom
Abena Abra-Flex Premuim Protective Underwear Level 3.
and Abena Abri-Form Comfort Brief Adult Diaper Plastic Backed level 4.
the underwear will last all day unless she has a bowel movement. And that is not using the bathroom all day. At night I use the diaper and cover them with the underwear, to make sure they stay secure. In the morning I just remove the diaper. I keep scissors in the bathroom to cut the diaper off. Trying to pull the blue tabs doesn’t really work out to good. Thy cost more than depends but they work.
they also have recurring shipments.
and the shipping is fast.

My sister uses Perisil for her adult son and it works great!

I see you say she might be coming to live with you. If she is not safe to live alone, if there are any other options, that would be better. Just because she is your mother, does not mean her care has to become your job. Urine may be be the only thing she cannot manage on her own. And the whole process of managing all that and whatever else she needs would be very intense.

I used disposable adult diapers.(Certainty from Walgreens) for my mom along with Tena pads (#7) Overnight and Ultimate along with disposable liners (Certainty Extra-Long) from Walgreens. It cut down on laundry.
Now she is bed bound and I use the Tena pads and disposable liners with a pad underneath the liners. I do not use disposable diapers any more. They were causing sores and UTI's.This is how the hospitals do it. Plus I give her cranberry juice to drink (Langerbury Cranberry Juice Plus). Vitamin C also helps prevent UTI. And drink water.

Have them check for a UTI. It is not often, but when Mom, 90 yrs old, has that trouble it is because of a UTI. She doesn't complain of burning or pain either just frequency, cloudy, and stronger smell.

Check with your washing machine manufacturer before using vinegar. Some parts do not tolerate vinegar. That said, I love using vinegar in the laundry, but not so much around the house (the smell bothers dh and causes him to become agitated). Our issue was a cat that sprayed and I found Nok Out to be the one product that finally did the job. You have to buy it online. It also goes by the name SNiPER, I think the only difference is the second one is listed as hospital strength.

Borax powder for clothes, I just posted that on another question. I found that tip here on the forum and it works! I had tried everything and borax was the only thing that worked. The instructions were to add 1/2 cup to the laundry with your detergent but I always used at least a full cup. Try it, it really does work.

Make sure the bed she’ll be sleeping on has a waterproof sheet under the regular sheet. Buy several good ones so you can swap them out when wash the bedding.

You can buy room air cleaners, machines with filters that help. You can also buy charcoal pouches that you can toss under her bed or anywhere she might have an accident. If she wears adult diapers, buy good ones and make sure they fit properly. Don’t let her sit on anything that isn’t completely covered in plastic first.

Is she mobile and can she toilet herself during the day? Make sure you understand the extent of her needs before you undertake her care. I cared for both of my folks for several years before they died and their deaths were nothing but a huge relief for me. As much as I loved them, I’ve never grieved a day for them. Caring for an elderly parent can and will suck the life out of you, no matter how much you love them.

anything with urine cannot sit in a hamper. We keep a wash tub or bucket full of water with some white vinegar and soak until we have a load. (Vinegar doesn’t need to say it’s for cleaning—they charge more for that!) To wash, we add white vinegar and oxy clean and/or washing soda. Let them soak once the washer is full of water.

Baking soda. Does she wear depends?

I had the same issue before I read on the forum about white vinegar. I add white vinegar to the warm wash cycle using the bleach dispenser and everything comes out smelling fine - clothes, bedding, and washable pads. I also include white vinegar in the carpet cleaning solution and the bathroom mop water. You can smell the vinegar for a while during cleaning, but it dissipates leaving the normal cleaning solution smells.

Either you are unusually sensitive to the odour of urine, or you are not washing the laundry at a high enough temperature, or there is something wrong with your mother's urine.

Urine from a healthy urinary tract is not especially smelly, or not until it's been left lying around the place for a while anyway; and a biological detergent + a good hot laundry cycle + in-wash disinfectant should leave bedlinen perfectly fresh.

What do you think of the care your mother has received so far at this rehab facility? If they can't even keep her dry and comfortable at night it doesn't sound promising...