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VSO, if this delusion that you are stealing is new, PLEASE have your mom tested for a UTI.

When you print out statements for her, use a Sharpie to black out the number.
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Her bank probably has useful advice to offer about protecting herself from identity theft and other common scams and frauds. Go to their website and print off some leaflets. You can always leave them on top of the statements.

Lots of clients not only leave this kind of information lying about but will even wave it under our noses and ask our opinion. The Code of Conduct requires us to treat personal data with the same respect as any other property, i.e. basically don't touch it. If you can't trust the caregivers in your mother's home, you may have bigger concerns than whether they fail to turn a blind eye (as I agree they should do their best to).
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verystressedout, we are trying to help you and have given you a lot of good suggestions. But for some reason you are pushing those ideas aside.

Is it because you feel uncomfortable using a computer yourself or you don't have a computer? Are you writing to us here via your cellphone?

Do you have a close friend who can help you set up on-line banking for your Mom, thus you can request no more paper statements can be mailed to your Mom. If Mom complains, just tell her all banking is done by computer. And you keep a 3-ring binder with all of the printed out bank statements at your home, if you have printer access, or if your close friend has one.

If your Mom wants to know her balance of her account, she can still telephone the bank to get that information.
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verystressedout Oct 2022
Hi! My Mom is mentally competent. She decides. She doesn’t want to use a computer. I think many elderly people prefer to feel/read paper. She wants me to get the print-outs. I do, but then she leaves it on the table, for all to see. If I touch the papers, try to organize them, she shouts. She doesn’t want anyone touching her documents.
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verystressedout,

One option would be to set up online banking so that no one else can access the banking info. And keep those passwords safe with computer locked. Do the same with other mailings that may invite unwelcomed snooping or harmful exposure of personal data.
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verystressedout Oct 2022
She insists on having print-outs. And she doesn’t know how to use a computer.
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Is this NEW behaviour? This pananoid type thing?

UTI? New medication? New worry about finances?
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verystressedout Oct 2022
I’m innocent. I’m not sure how to protect myself.
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Thanks for all ideas. I’m being falsely accused of theft now.

She won’t let me touch, arrange anything. She screams if I touch her documents. She keeps things in folders, then scatters them on the table. All papers clearly visible. The caregivers are right next to her.

I put them in a neater pile, so caregivers can’t see the statements. She called family and said: now papers are missing, it’s because I moved things, and I stole the papers.

I immediately told her, I stole nothing. I was protecting her. She insists I’ve stolen important papers.
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Patathome01 Oct 2022
Verystressedout:
You are scared but not at a dead-end and may require professional help to deal with your mother's situation. Perhaps your mom has some type of mental decline like dementia. This is not normal behavior and requires that you take over her decisions. Hopefully you have POA to do it and protect her from identity theft. I read from you in our forum that her doctor will soon see her. If your mother still wants paper, then have statements mailed to yourself to manage her affairs.
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Met a man last week with papers around, couldn't figure out how to use his phone properly, or laptop, struggling with passwords to whatever. Also papers are 'missing'.

🚩 Planning & processing issues or just a bad day??
⚠️ Risk of becoming a fraud victim?
⚠️ Wanted someone to take him to a bank to get cash out..

No way Mister! I went with my gut insticts.

Very, you know your Mom best - I'd bet your instincts are right too.

I think I would try a nice new folder to collect them into one place as suggested. Because the 'Accountant' or 'Bank Manager' said to?

Then start being slueth.. is Mom being responsible with her funds? Or have things slipped/changed?
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“My Mom doesn’t want me to touch her documents”. Big deal, why be obedient about something so stupid? Get a folder for them, put it somewhere she can find them if she wants. Even in a folder on the desk is better than on open view.
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verystressedout Oct 2022
I did that.
Then she got angry I touched them, and said now some documents are missing and I stole them: she told the caregivers.
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Ask her if she wants to be robbed blind because she left her business out for all to see. Maybe that'll get her attention.
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Patathome01 Oct 2022
Her mom may be on some mental decline and not understand the consequences of her activity. Stressedout is waiting for her doctor to see her.
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verystressedout, yep, my Dad use to do the same thing, keep his bank and stock statements in full view on his desk.

Eventually I had all of Dad's financial statements and bills forwarded to my own address. I took over as his financial Power of Attorney.

You could tell Mom ,using what is called a "therapeutic fib", that everything is now on-line and she would need to use a computer to get her statements.
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Patathome01 Oct 2022
But she does not use a computer nor want learn to use one. Not sure she wants to use a smartphone, either. We are waiting for her doctor's evaluation information. Stressedout may reply as soon as she knows.
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On my statement the last 4 digits are the only ones that show.
I am with you though, Mom should not keep them where others can see them. Leaving her checks where they could be gotten would worry me more because her full bank acct is on them.
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verystressedout Oct 2022
Her bank statements have full numbers. She leaves it all out in the open. The caregivers can see all details.
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You could explain to her about online banking and how she can get her statements online. Then sign her up for it. Wheee! No more paper statements at all. Don't expect her to go for it, though. If she isn't already signed up for this, she probably distrusts it.
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freqflyer Oct 2022
Fawnby, with banks merging with other banks there has been many issues with people trying to get bank statements or trying to set up on-line service. It's been over six months for me trying to get into my current account, the software keeps setting up a brand new account for me. I have too many things tied to the current account. Even going in person to the bank was no help, neither was the phone number they gave me for tech help. Some banks require the holder of that account to have a certain cellphone... [sigh]
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Unless these caregivers have access to your mothers bank accounts personally, knowing how much she has in them is irrelevant. Do you think they are thieves who will somehow figure out a way to withdraw the money in her accounts simply because they know the balance??

Suggest to mom that she keep her bank statements in the drawer or out of plain sight, then let the matter go. If you have no trust at all in her caregivers, it's time to hire new ones.
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