She has been in the hospital 3 times and the last time was for 5 weeks. She started with a UT infection that turned septic and returned again and again. She's 77 and she has stayed in bed of her own choice for the past 20 yrs and she was hooked on pain pills for a long time till about 3yrs ago. My dad is her caregiver and she will not eat or do basically anything the doctors tell her to and is just basically accusing him of not caring for her. The nurses and docs have said they are wasting their time and it's taking its toll on my dad. I help him when I can but she does me the same just let me rest is all she will do. She's bedridden on oxygen and basically can't do anything on her own.
And from what you have said, your mom is on methadone. That is an opiate(narcotic), which is given to treat pain, so are you sure she's still not addicted? That could certainly be adding to her issues.
Please help your dad find the best facility for your mom, so he can have some peace and enjoy the rest of his life.
What your mother 'wants' right now needs to be secondary to what your father needs right now. Enough is enough. But those decisions need to be made BY your father once HE decides he's had enough.
Good luck.