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My husband is incontinent too. I use external catheters, texas catheters, every night and it has helped immensely. You can order them from a medical supply store along with urinal bags. Hope this helps. I know exactly what you are going through. My husband does not have much control over his bowels any more and it's really hard to deal with all the cleaning and laundry, among other things. Prayers to you.
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I don’t know if someone else has already mentioned this, but there is definitely a right and wrong way to put on adult diapers. Our bath aide shows us lots of good tricks, like how to line up the most absorbent part and get it snug but not too tight. We figured out on our own that the penis needs to be pointed down.
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Instead of depands, try true adult diapers and put down a couple of "peach pads" on the bed under him. You can buy those from amazon. Or you can get the non-disposable version that hospitals use. They are VERY absorbant. Then you would just have to possibly wash the pad every day instead of the sheets.
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I'am in a pull up in the day and a heavy diaper from North Shore during the night.My wife is well pleased with the way they work.
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