She can't get services and she is well off. Let's just say she has money and I am suffering. I lived with my 100 yr. old grandma for 7 yrs and now she can't be left alone. I am also struggling to take care of my son. What do I do? I can't pay my bills and going in debt. I am the only one out of 6 grandchildren who takes care of her, no one visits or talks to her. 7 yrs ago, my mom asked me to take care of her, I dropped out of college, rerouted my son's school, and moved 500 miles away from my immediate family. I kept my promise to my mom even though she passed from cancer 3 yrs ago. A month ago, I lost my dad and I couldn't be with him, because I was taking care of my grandma. I am getting depressed because of this. My grandma's 89 yr old brother is her POA and pays her bills. I approached him about it and he tells me she doesn't have the finances, but I believe that to be untrue. I know what my grandma has and in no way am I using her for financial gains. In no way the amount I desperately need per months breaks her piggy bank. What do I do? I can't even work because I can't leave her alone. Just recently I helped her recover $ 6,300 in assets and thought she would be able to help me and she says no!!! That was my mom's money. I can't take it anymore!!!
Grandma needs care. Grandma should be paying for that care. She doesn't have to because you are there.
To assist them in their choice, you might also like to get together some leaflets or webpages from agencies in your area, including prices. Then uncle can see which option is more affordable, too.
I hope he's not in for too much of a shock.
It is totally unfair that you need to forfeit your own financial security for someone who HAS a financial security.
Even if your Uncle offers you pay, it won't be the same as getting pay from having a good job where you get money put into Social Security and into Medicare, plus paid sick days, possible a company 401(k) for savings, and most important paid health insurance. After 7 years, it is time for someone else to take the baton.
I know there will be a lot of grumbling, possible rows and snits. Ignore it, stick to your plan and start looking for some place new, even a cousin or friend who can take you in until you find employment and save enough to pay for an apartment.
I hope it won't be impossible to improve things with the grandmother's situation so that Jessy can both look back on a job well done and be ready to move on from a more secure footing when the time comes.
You need to be working legitimately to save for your own retirement. That can be done with grandma with a care agreement and her as employer. You would need an elder law attorney to draft the agreement which should be grandma's expense. You would also need representation to review an offer should one come.
You first priority is to take care of you! Spoken by a daughter that cared for her mother for four years before I changed things and realised I need to protect myself.
What are you going to do when you can't work any longer and haven't got Social Security because you're not paying into the system?
Do you and your son have health insurance?
On a separate note, make sure you take time to reflect on your new life that you're going to head to. Give yourself a needed mental and emotional health boost by dreaming of where you want to head to, a new place (or stay there and be paid for when you're not out working in the world), going back to college, how to pick up pursuing your dreams that you stopped when you took over care of your grandmother, and what wonderful things you'll do with your son when you're free.
Even if you have a low paying job, you will be better off. You can claim your son on your taxes and get an Earned Income Tax credit. This can be up to about $3000 if you qualify.
Get a job and move out.
You needs to have a caregiver agreement, written by a lawyer and notorized , that pays you a living wage. Otherwise, you need to leave.
Get paid, or leave! It really is that simple. Maybe you haven't seen that yourself because you've been encouraged to do the "Godly" thing. That sure turns out to be convenient for grandmother, doesn't it?
The going rate for live-in 24/7 help is $60,000 per year. It's complicated because you have a son, but you could make a decent wage taking care of an elderly person if your grandmother won't pay you.
This isn't about Grandma being charitable.
This is about PAYING for services GM gets. Not "helping" you and "giving" you financial assistance. Please stop thinking that GM should be more generous. She just should pay what she owes! Generosity has nothing to do with it.
And why would your uncle exploit you like this? Is he a "holy" person, too?