This is a call for advice. My mom has had Parkinson's and dementia for 5 years now and has slowly and steadily been declining. Our current caregivers are a mixed bag, and one in particular is giving her subpar care (refusing to cut her nails, sits her in front of TV all day, doesn't want my mom's sister over because she's bossy and points out her mistakes, can't take any critique or feedback, once had her on a wet bed pad for hours, also not skilled enough to hold her up when she has fainting spells, etc.). In her care, my mom is declining noticeably more quickly. We have other caregivers who are better and are now available to take over the schedule but my dad refuses. Context: he has a girlfriend who I believe is encouraging him to step back from my mother's care. He is currently on a 4-month long summer "respite" from my mom, so no one is there with her (I am on study abroad for the semester, a hard choice but I do feel as a person in their mid-20s it's my dad's responsibility more than mine to be there) AND he does not like the idea of this new schedule that would have only the better caregivers. The cost is the same. So the only possible conclusions I have are A) he's unwilling to admit that this caregiver is subpar because it would reflect badly on him or B) he and his gf are conspiring against my mom whether so intentionally or not, to have my mom decline faster and to the point she gets put in a home so he and his gf don't have to deal with her care anymore.
My questions are twofold: what do you think? Is it possible this nefarious plot is actually happening? And, what are the standards to define elder neglect? If I can prove that my dad is not doing what he ought to is there any way I can legally take over the responsibility of my mom's care (without my dad's consent)?
Many conditions do not have a linear path of decline. There can be stagnant and slower periods, and then rapid decline. With you being away from home, you may not have your finger on the pulse of her timeline. It will be interesting to hear your thoughts once you return home.
To answer your questions:
I do not believe for a moment that your father has a scheme for your mother's decline, or he would not have in-home services for her. It sounds like after 5 years of this, he is no longer on top of his game, even if legally responsible for her care. You say he doesn't want to change caregiver schedules, but there could be many reasons for that aside from financial. How can you help him while abroad? Is he ready to hand over the reins to you once you return?
It sounds like your aunt is on top of your mom's care, and perhaps willing to step in more until you return and can assess the entire situation in person.
How can your Dad speed up Parkinson’s with neglecting Mom?
As caregiver to husband with PD i know few things, and of course not even the best specialists are sure of disease trajectory.
PD after five years often escalates for different reasons, could be meds, obviously neurologist should determine that.
PD is characterized by slow progression generally, but with dementia could progress rapidly, again, drs opinion needed.
It is true for different reasons, many people with PD do better at home, again, as my husband is highly functional and exceptionally cognitive and often people in facilities are put together, assumption being made they all have PD and dementIa, which is 40% of PD.
Quality of life is important, again, it does not diminish or speed up progression.
You, being good daughter have concerns, but, I suspect you are getting part of the story from your aunt, whose opinion is rather subjective.
Objectivity and facts are necessary with this disease. And simple fact remains nobody got better with Parkinson.