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When I get him to the bathroom he wants me to leave him alone for a while When I return i find him 'digging' up his rectum to pull feces out. Any reasons why that might be happening and what can I do to prevent it. It is causing his hemerrhoids to get irritated.

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Gastroenterologist DH aunt went to (after two ER visits and a fleet enema and X-rays at ER ) prescribed polyethylene glycol daily and to stop stool softener. Her insurance paid for the poly. It’s basically the same thing as Miralax.

This worked for her and we never had another problem.

For more water try the small bottles of water. They are easy to handle and I was able to get aunt to drink the whole bottle at one time. She still uses them in the NH. Her skin is amazing for almost 98.

I found she would only sip water from a glass and not drink that much.

I also found her geriatric primary through the gastro and we were able to get her thyroid meds straight. Everyone, ERs, gastro was telling me that she had “too much thyroid on board”. Her previous primary wouldn’t adjust it. We moved on to a more knowledgeable doctor for aunts issues.

Please do keep a log of what you try so you can discuss with his primary. Some products will effect kidneys and/or heart.

My dad would just put syrup on anything he was eating and it did the trick.

Massage is also effective.

This attached link from the Cleveland Clinic explains that stool,softener tests the same as placebo for constipation. It has its use but doesn’t help chronic constipation.

https://www.ccjm.org/content/84/5/397


https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/massage-for-constipation#abdominal-massage
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Give him two stool softeners a day and some miralax in his coffee. Of course pass this by his doctors. You can also use benefiber in his drinks.
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Reply to Southernwaver
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I do give him stool softener each night. He is not drinking enough water, so I know that is a problem but don't know how to make him drink. I did contact DR - he gave me some samples of Miralax to try putting in his juice each morning. Guess like everything else, its a trial and error thing. One thing is for sure though it is definitely a Dementia type thing we think. Thanks for everyones input!!
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Southernwaver Aug 17, 2024
4 sugar free Russell stover candies will work (ask me how I now) but he can’t trust a fart!
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Miralax was too harsh for Mom. It was not that she thought she needed to go everyday, it was the Hospital and Rehab. She was put, also, on Colace and Senna. Nothing worked. Milk of Magnesia was the only thing that worked.

Is Dad on iron or any opioid based pain killers. If so, these can cause a problem. Also, because he isn't walking. I would start with those fruits and vegetables that have fiber in them. Lots of water. I would also speak with his doctor.

Cover mentioned M&Ms. I looked it up. Seems like they have no idea why, but they do help you go. I have never heard of this but I do know that diet candy with Sorbitol in it can cause diarrhea in large amounts. Maybe just piece would help? Problem with laxatives is you do not want the body to rely on them.
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cover9339 Aug 6, 2024
Thanks :}
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Try Miralax -- it's over the counter.
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If it hasn't been said, make sure his finger nails are trimmed and smooth.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Magnesium (natural supplement) given 3 times a day will solve any problems with constipation. You actually have to build up a tolerance for it. An extra benefit of magnesium is it is calming and can be helpful for sleep.
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Geaton777 Aug 6, 2024
"When taken by mouth: Magnesium is LIKELY SAFE for most people when taken appropriately. Doses less than 350 mg daily are safe for most adults. In some people, magnesium might cause stomach upset, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and other side effects. When taken in very large amounts (greater than 350 mg daily), magnesium is POSSIBLY UNSAFE. Large doses might cause too much magnesium to build up in the body, causing serious side effects including an irregular heartbeat, low blood pressure, confusion, slowed breathing, coma, and death."

Source: https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-998/magnesium

Supplements aren't free from having potentially harmful interactions with other prescription drugs. The primary physician or pharmacist should be consulted before administering.
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Colace
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Reply to cover9339
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My Dad used to have a similar issue - even used gloves to extract poop! Uugh. I started giving him 3-4 Bard Valley Natural Delights Organic Pitted Medjool Dates each morning with his breakfast. He loved them and it also solved his constipation issues. Dad since then is now unable to eat solids any longer so this is a thing of the past for us. But I could totally feel your pain on this one. I kinda had a PTSD response as I was reading it! lol uuuggh! If your Dad has an issue with eating these - you can always blend them up in a nice smoothie! They taste like caramel. Good luck to you! Remember - This too shall pass!
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Reply to Mamacrow
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I agree with others suggesting possible anxiety and therefore talking to his doc about meds. I also agree with anti-strip jumpsuits, and transition him to disposable briefs, and waterproof mattress protector. My Mom is similar... they are of the generation where it was optimal to have a BM every day.

My Aunt tells the story of when they lived in the Bronx in their Italian neighborhood. There was a kid there named Manzi. Apparently, Manzi's Mother would regularly fling open the 2nd story window and yell down to him in the street, "Manzi, hai fatto poo poo???" (Manzi, did you poop today??) We still yell this in our house.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Next time he really needs an enima, start on the diet and medicine options already mentioned about two days in advance. Once his immediate problem is solved (messily for you), you want to be sure that more hard stool isn’t in the system to repeat the problem. I reckon for me it normally takes 2 days for normal food to get through the system, for DH it takes 3 days, so be sure to start in advance.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 5, 2024
Just in case it isn't clear, the enima clears out the bowel, not the whole gut, and you don't want the gut contents to repeat the problem.
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Seems from your added info, the problem is more agitation than lack of being able to poop. Ask the doctor for a non constipating medication to help calm his agitation, and add this to the routine of stool softener and whatever else. If this doesn’t work, you may have to resort to clothing sold for dementia patients designed so that they cannot take it off to prevent him from causing harm
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Charles, has the doctor done any testing of your dad's colon? If he is digging it out, it seems as though it isn't coming out.

If they have tested and everything but dad's brain is fine, I would introduce bulk forming foods, maybe citrucel (sp?), metamucil or extra fruits and veggies, because some diets just do not create a lot of waste. I do recommend daily magnesium supplements to help keep everyone's system performing as best as possible, magnesium oxide will create loose stool, so nix anything for that if the supplement has that as 1 of the mags.

Best of luck, this is a tough issue.
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cover9339 Aug 5, 2024
M&Ms, grapes, foods with Olestra.
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Increase water consumption.

Increase fiber (can be Citracel if he's not a veggies man).

Add in Dulcolax, Colace or any stool softener.

Get more "exercise" like walking around the house.

Pain relievers all create constipation. If he's on any opioids, all the more. "Sleeping aids" like Tylenol PM also create a problem.

When I was on massive doses of Tylenol after my knee replacement surgery, even though I was on a prescription laxative and stool softener, I was amazed at how constipated I became (and I even eat lots of nature fiber and veggies).

He can become impacted if it isn't dealt with, or it can create a pain in his abdomen bad enough to require a trip to the ER (been there, done that with my Mom who is a retired RN and swore to me it wasn't constipation. It was.)

Constipation makes you feel crummy, and can cause you to lose your appetite.

There's rectal suppositories or the Fleet enema...
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Charles23 Aug 5, 2024
Thanks for your input. My dad just recently got confined to a wheelchair and does not nor cannot walk anymore. It just seems his is obsessed with going to the bathroom (#2) EVERYDAY. It is an obsession. Therefore, when he gets constipated I guess he thinks he has to 'go'. After numerous conversations with him and trips to the ER where they just give him and Enima and send us home for him to crap all over himself and everything else, it is just not working for the long haul. I give him stool softener every night. Just frustrating for him and for me. Thanks again for the input!!
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Does your father use a stool softener at all? While you don't want to "overdose" him with products and cause loose bowel movement, neither should be having to pull the feces out. Have you tried natural helps such as prunes or kiwi or drinking more fluids? You may want to start with those before moving onto pharmaceuticals. But a call to his health care provider is in order. Severe constipation can lead to a myriad of problems, such as fecal impaction, which will require a visit to the ED.
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