She has severe macular degeneration and has decided she does not want to leave her condo. She has no other physical issues. She has an aide during the day and when I don’t order any chocolate for her to have in the house she gets furious with the aides and very abusive to them. I am afraid they will quit. Her friends bring her chocolate even tho I ask them to stop. They say she is so old she should be able to do what she wants. All she does is sit in the sofa all day listening to the radio and is starting to have trouble standing up due to her weight. I don’t know what to do.
Would consulting with her MD help? Do you have POA? I have to admit I tend to slide into the camp of let her do whatever she wants...but then the issue of her not being able to stand due to the weight, which could lead to incontinence issues (not being able to get up fast enough to the bathroom)...that concerns me.
I often think "what would I want"...
Does she eat other food/meals during the day. Can it be rationed out? Or is that too insulting and juvenile? Heck, maybe she's found the secret of survival is eating chocolate with no other health issues.
But the discussions of chocolate are interesting!
And, OTOH, what could be more appropriate for Valentines' Day than discussing chocolate? I think I'll make some fudge to celebrate the day.
Some of the weight gain is probably due to more sitting than ever before. I'm a chocoholic - so that craving is real! To a degree, I think at her age if she wants chocolate, let her have it BUT also understand the additional calories with less exercise. Hope you can find a happy medium in the problem.
Make it worth her while:
Chocolate covered almonds
Chocolate covered cranberries
Chocolate covered oranges
Chocolate covered raisins
Chocolate covered anything.
For Valentines and ever other day too :)))
Oh, and chocolate covered strawberries are so delish too (if you can get the strawbs at this time of year. I'm in the southern hemisphere so they are plentiful :)
How much chocolate is she eating?
What sort of chocolate does she most enjoy?
What else is she eating?
Are you sure the mobility loss is all to do with her weight?
20lbs in two months... I'm trying to tot up how much chocolate you'd have to put away to gain that much weight. The calculation defeats me, but it must be a fair old bit, surely.
Have you had a quick look at her lower legs to see if there's any oedema? That can also lead to rapid weight gain and decreased mobility; and it's the work of a moment to rule it out.
When you reach a certain age and you have lost everything and everybody with whom you could relate, while for your children and grand children and great grandchildren you are somebody they love dearly and pity a little, who is too old to understand today's life and is still glued to memories of things that are boring and even difficult to believe, when you reach the point you know you have no real future on your path, you have to stick to the few things that give you pleasure to find the strength to resist standing up on the lounching pad waiting for the call to go.
So, Linda, Do not worry about your mother, she knows what's good for her. Let her have it, as much as she needs and of the kind she prefers. And do it with a smile on your face and let her friends give her what they want otherwise they might stop visiting her afraid to displease you. Let's hope your mother is as stubborn as I am so that once you stop pushing her she'll cut on the quantity of chocolate by herself. You know, at a certain age we have the impression that everybody is bossing us and that we are considered and treated like small children so we try very hard to show that we are still mature adults with our personality , our ideas and our dignity and we hate to be pushed around by our know-it-all children.
Best wishes to you and most of all to your mother who evidently finds it difficult to adapt to the idea of getting really old. I keep telling my people that should I be still alive, in a few years they could sell me as an antique on e-Bay and get rid of me.
3 kgs. per month is a little more than 6 lbs. a month.
I looked this up for the U.S. readers here, and myself because I never learned to convert kgs to lbs.
I like your idea to order it monthly.
So sorry to hear that you have lost your husband, after taking such good care of him all those years! I do not know you, but was so impressed with your post, I looked up some of your great answers.
Hope you are getting along well these days. Chocolate really does help, doesn't it? An antioxidant we are told.
AgingCare is changing some features, so as a member here, I am testing out the ability to edit a reply. If it works, I will be back to say it worked or not, below:
Editing this "reply" has worked.
I’d be curious to know from others if their parents eat more sweets? I’ve always heard that’s the last taste to go and I notice my mom eats more sweets.
I'm surprised at the frivolous comments.
Someone is bringing her the chocolate. That's called being codependent. Let her scream at the aides. You want her to stop eating chocolate? Make sure she doesn't get it anymore or watch her get fatter and fatter and get sicker and sicker. It's pretty simple in my opinion.
I didn't say anything about depriving someone of the pleasures in life. But to give anyone, let alone a 99 year old enough chocolate to the point where they gain 20 Ibs in two months is beyond ridiculous. (In my opinion)
Sorry, I stand by my comments.
I do love chocolate! Dark chocolate is my favorite.
🔹The OP did not state an actual amount of chocolate her mother was eating, so a dietitcian could not calculate the quantities that would result in that much weight gain.
🔹The OP concluded that her mother gained because of the chocolate. That could be faulty reasoning. There could be so many reasons, including medication, and failure to move around and exercise. Maybe we will never know, because....the OP did not return.
🔹The sky is blue.