Won't move back to the master bedroom because my dad died in there 5 years ago. We’ve offered to redecorate but she won’t go for it. Like many other situations on here she is controlling, strong willed and independent and can be mean. We went through several years of this with my husband's parents and now my own mother. I’ve never felt close to her but I’m going to suck it up and do the right thing. Any tips on talking to her about her inability to get around? I’m kind of afraid of her. Ps. She is cognitively 100% able just has increasing issues with arthritis.
Move out old Master Bedroom furniture, & depending on space/function use it as a changing room only..unless a changing/ dressing area can be made in another room.
Privacy: Room Dividers, Curtains on did or tension rod ( no holes)..the ones with the metal circles are earliest to open. Or ceiling mount vertical blinds make. Visual wall when closed and open for 'normalcy' in daytime.
Try to have good light blockage so she can sleep better. Bring down the photo and personal items she is accustomed to.
When she objects, refuse to rearrange things. Tell close friends it is doctors orders! She will have the bed and furniture she feels safe with.
You need to respect her memories & fears of losing your father in the old Master BR!! These are strong, deep emotional..paint won't change! She needs to respect your need to know she is safe.
Yes, EMS can get her from upstairs, but it takes longer...time is brain function.. quality of life in an emergency! You want her to have the best quality of life in her home, and Will Do Everything That Requires, even if it is upsetting to her.
Her health dictated the need! It is hard losing choices, but this choice has been taken from you both!
Again, focus on respect of her concerns about room where her husband died! Tell her that was why you chose this option. Yes, her opinion does matter! That is why she is not sleeping I the room she doesn't want to sleep...die in... Don't say die, let her say it!
Good Luck
We have had the bed in three of the downstairs rooms (2 living rooms and the study), but then again I enjoy moving furniture and rearranging. Makes life more interesting!
Geeeez, where there’s a will there’s a way, I suppose. I can’t imagine her crawling up the stairs. Kind of sad.
It took 2 hospitalizations and the post-hospitalization rehabs at home until finally she couldn't pass the physical therapist's test and was too weak to walk up even one step, before she would stop using the stairs and upstairs bedroom. She had falls, but luckily never on the stairs - just in her bedroom late at night.
A caution: everyone thought she was amazingly perfectly cognizant, but now that she has had obvious post-stroke cognition deficits I realize that her unreasonable stubbornness about the stairs was an early symptom of cognitive decline. She couldn't conceive of doing anything differently and couldn't understand the very good reasons people gave her for moving her bedroom downstairs.