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Stroke victim with high blood, diabetes type 1. He won't take his medicine and I think that makes it worse. He hasn't been eating and he'll skip days in between. It's been like this for a week now. His doctor is barely in and won't be in on the weekend. When she came to check on him, she just said it might be his depression. But now I think it might be more? He's always in bed and sometimes he'll sit up and sit in his wheelchair but eating is a no. Everyone is telling me to relax but I can't. Should I call 911? He doesn't want me to bc he keeps shaking his head when I say so but maybe I should do it anyway?

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Does he have A DNR OR POLST in order and CLOSE BY TO HIS BED? If not, make sure you talk with his doctor about it....
If he wants to be taken to ER... and HE WANTS 911 to be called... BUT IF YOU KNOW HE doesn't want this special attention,... ,make sure you have the correct paper work in order... DO NOT RESUSCITATE... = DNR

Or POLST... ask his doctor... if you don't know.

Maybe he doesn't want to play this game of "life" anymore :(
I am in the mode for DNR and POLST.... I don't want my life to be strung out longer than necessary if I am "going to be an anchor" . I don't have a big family. I don't want them to take care of me...." I wasn't good at that job... I think the they won't be either... nor do I want them to feel they need to be burdened with me. This is life... the circle of life..
As I am writing, a friend is expecting first grandchild while decisions for dad are being made about his cancer and what to do or not to do... THE CIRCLE OF LIFE...
LITERALLY...
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Another thought since he's unable to speak:   use flash cards, or a tablet, some type of method by which he can nod or shake his head, or even write out answers.

I had to do that when my father was trached for several months, unable to speak except when the speech therapist adjusted the trach mechanism so he could talk, but only while she was present.

So I (a) got a notebook (those typical student spiral bound notebooks with small rings on the side), (b) created a larger selection options (backed by cardboard to keep it from getting wrinkled up) on which I included a multitude of potential needs (too warm, too cold, needed a nurse to contact me if I wasn't there, needed bathroom assistance, etc.).   He could point to what he needed.

One of his church members knew sign language, and I considered that but wasn't sure I could learn enough in the short time available to be of use.  

You might consider flash cards as well - something to allow him to express himself.  It could make a world of difference.
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The fact that he's coughing either on a liquid or his own saliva suggests to me that a swallowing disorder needs to be considered, ASAP.

If his doctor is too busy, find another.   A speech pathologist might also be located through an ER visit; the staff could arrange for him to see a speech specialist either on site or by appointment.  

You might also try some applesauce to see if he can swallow that w/o coughing; that's what speech therapists used to recommend for my father as a change of pace from pureed foods, as well as a softener for delectable like cookies.
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I would make sure that he is at least drinking several Ensures during the day, as that will give his body much needed nutrients. You might also want his Dr to check his mouth for any sores or broken teeth that might be bothering him and keeping him from wanting to eat. He might also be having trouble swallowing, which can be very serious, as that can lead to aspiration pneumonia and even death. His Dr can perform a swallowing test to check that. And if you don't like his Dr for any reason, find him another one that will give him the help he needs. Definitely sounds like he needs to have a thorough examination. Good luck.
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doreooo22 Mar 2021
Hi! Thanks for answering. I've tried Ensure :( idk why but he hates the taste. I got a generic version of Vanilla Ensure from Walgreens with some Thick-It powder to see if he'll drink that down. Yeah, I was told about aphasia worsening and he's been coughing quite a bit lately either on his drink or his own saliva.

His doctor is kind but my dad is part of a low-income clinic. Idk if it's because they don't really have a lot of resources but its weird because she took blood tests and never got back to me. Every time I have the time to call, they say she's off or she's busy with a patient.

Thanks for reassuring my thoughts. I think it'll be best to take him in too. Hopefully he gets admitted
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Is he able to talk, or does he just shake his head when you bring it up? He might be making a decision, and you need to respect it. He has a lot of health issues at a very young age, and perhaps he's very tired of them all.

Sometimes when people are sick like he is, eating just isn't interesting to them. My mother hasn't eaten the equivalent of an entire meal since the middle of December. She's living on Ensure, a milkshake drink that provides her with calories and protein, but she can't live on it forever. Her body is shutting down, and that's OK.

I think you should listen to the others, and respect him when he says not to call 911. You might ask your other relatives to look into hospice care for him, because they'll keep him comfortable, come to the house to care for him, and it's all paid for my Medicare. It might be a good option for him.
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doreooo22 Mar 2021
He's not able to talk. He can let you know through gestures, like his head shaking or nodding. Sometimes it's hard to decipher but this morning I asked him to squeeze my hand if he wanted to go to the hospital. He started squeezing a lot and nodding. When I go to call and I tell "I'm calling 911", he then starts shaking his head and making his "no" face. It's a bit frustrating bc I want him to go but he might start hitting people (he's not a fan of nurses).
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I don't know how you can 'relax' if your grandfather is not taking his meds, isn't eating for a week, and has basically become bedbound! Furthermore, what kind of doctor hears this type of thing and says 'it might be his depression' then leaves?

I'd call 911 and get him taken by ambulance to the ER if it were me. Something is going on b/c he's exhibiting new symptoms which could be anything from a new stroke to 100 other things including a worsening of his diabetes from refusing to eat. That alone could create a medical emergency in short order! The EMS staff will check him out and determine on the spot if he needs to be taken to the hospital.

About 15 years ago, I was having a medical emergency myself & told my daughter NOT to call 911, which she did anyway, which turned out to be a good thing. My BP was 220/120 and the EMT had to give me a dose of nitroglycerin in the ambulance in order to prevent a stroke. Sometimes you just have to go against your loved ones wishes and do what YOU feel to be the right thing.

GOOD LUCK!
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doreooo22 Mar 2021
Right? I'm kinda known for "freaking out" but I'm just trying to do my best here. I'm only 22. I'm not a doctor and I want my grandpa to get the care he needs. I don't really care if I look crazy, at least it would put our minds at ease. My grandpa can't talk so it's very hard to know if he's in pain.

I'm glad your daughter called! I should do that too. If the paramedics say its fine then at least I tried
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Staying hydrated is far more important than eating. Hopefully you can keep him drinking something. There are many reasons he may not want food— depression, tooth ache, loss of taste, swallowing difficulties, the list goes on and on. After my mother’s stroke she had a test called video fluoroscopy that watched food as it was chewed and swallowed. It was valuable in learning that she at first needed pureed foods and later no food by mouth at all. Your grandpa definitely needs a thorough medical evaluation to determine what’s going on
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doreooo22 Mar 2021
He drinks a lot, he's been into hot chocolate at the moment. I need to get a swallow test done but his doctor is so busy /: I think I'll call 911 and maybe if he gets admitted, I can get it done.
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