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I thought about my own previously very long answer and have read a lot of the others and I think it just boils down to one of two choices - 1) just do what you have to do, knowing it's the right thing whether she appreciates it or not (or anyone else does or not) and decide to let things roll off your back or 2) if you can't do that, find her a safe, warm place that is within whatever she can afford and see her very limitedly to protect yourself. That option of course will also bring rain because - AS THE BLACK SHEEP person - you cannot do anything right. So really you just have to do the best with what you can live with. If someone judges you just know they are NOT YOU and get on with life. You only get one go round!
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I agree. It's just difficult to make that first step to save myself.
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A few things as I read your painful question.. where were you when your sister was "caring" for your Mom?

LOVE your Mom. Be tender-hearted and forgiving. She sounds like she was abused under the care of your sister (who clearly was unable to care for herself let alone an aging parent). Pray. Seek God. Seek His love.

Can you pay for someone to help you? There are organizations that may be able to provide volunteers to help you.

Caring for a parent with dementia and other ailments is so hard. I know. But at the end of the day, we are responsible for how we respond and how we treat others.

Also, tell your Mom how you feel. This is so therapeutic. Don't shrink back - but make sure you speak the truth in love. For example: Mom, I love you so much, but I feel like you don't love me the same in return.
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