She has been with us since Feb. We have had about 6 caregivers and she has lasted longer than any of them. We tried using an agency but had such a bad experience that we decided that private care was more affordable and dependable. I really hate to lose this one and it really isn't the food, it is more that I feel cautious about trusting her now. Mom does not have valuables laying around and I take care of all the financial stuff so the food isn't something I really keep an eye on. Finding another caregiver just fills me with despair.
Another option is to keep food tray for the Carer, she must be too tired and then it’s natural to feel hungry after working hard.
If she's taking it for no good reason, gently explain that if she takes any more, she will not be welcome as a caregiver and you will let her go. Figure out beforehand how you will replace her.
Definitely continue to watch it closely, but find a way to ask her as well, without accusing her.
I can't resist the urge here to suggest that you watch the movie, Driving Miss Daisy. There's a scene near the beginning that reminds me somewhat of this situation.
I referenced Driving Miss Daisy as well.
I could never allow someone to stay privately with my mother knowing she is a thief. Does the caregiver look emaciated like she is starving?
I am trying to look at this with as much compassion as possible. You could sit down with her and tell her you that you know she has been stealing from your moms freezer and ask her why she feels entitled to take something that doesn't belong to her. If her answer is that her family is hungry and that normally would not steal but she was desperate and that made her cross that line ...and you believe her, maybe you could tell her that if she wants to eat a meal with your mom throughout the day, you don't have a problem with supplying her with that, but she is not to take anything that doesn't belong to her and reiterate that you monitor and count everything from jewelry to food and that you are entrusting her with the most precious thing ...your mother... and that you need to be able to trust her. Offering her meals while she is with your mom and giving her a list of food pantry's in your area is extending an olive branch and taking a leap of faith.
Good Luck.
If you let her go as has been suggested the next one may do the same thing as people are havins hard times now!
Good luck to you and your Mom and thank you for taking good care of her!
Is there a possibility your mom offered her the food or it was given to a neighbor or discarded?
Need more info but a conversation needs to be had whether it was a misunderstanding or intentional.
The flow of said conversation depends on what is discovered.
I would also ask her if she has any suggestions on keeping things on track for mom as she slips further away from her memory. (I would pay her a few extra hours to help you set up the inventory) If she won't engage with you in prevention measures, she is probably heading out the door at some not so distant point. I am not trying to stress you out, but the way you worded your update throws all kinds of flags and from my personal experience with employees, this person responded inappropriately for the question that was asked. But maybe you are like me and you have a hard time conveying what you want to say in the written word and it is all grand. But as a professional she should be willing to help you prepare for what is to be with your mom as she ages. This will also give her some extra hours and really show her that you value her and her knowledge.
I am glad that you talked to her, communicating with the person that we trust our loved ones with is so important and truly can help avoid most problems.
If you don't feel comfortable doing that, you can tell her that you have noticed food missing from the freezer and ask her to keep a closer eye on your mother. That way, she knows that you are aware that food is missing and she might stop taking it
The last resort is to put a lock on the freezer so nobody but the person that has the key can get in it.
Dont find another Caregiver and consider the amount of food she takes as a raise in salary.
Install cameras thruout the home.
If it's certain items then try not to restock those items, buy things she doesn't seem to want to take home.
you need to let her know you are aware of the meals taken...sweeping it under the rug only lets the incorrect behavior to be validated...let her explain why she feels justified to take without asking...understanding her and her motive.
Her conscious has not held her back.
What did her resume look like. The last job was she let go? Was stealing an issue at last job...was she vetted...
criminal record?
This behavior is indicative of a pattern. If not confronted can lead to
other issues. She needs to know that you are aware.
The boundary of stealing, once broken becomes easier and easier to steal larger and larger things.