I had to put my mom into a dementia assisted living facility. She is now very angry and aggressive toward my sister and me when we go to visit her. She never was like this when she was at home and I cared for her but now she tells me how much she hates me and never wants to see me again for putting her this "hell hole" as she calls it! The staff during the day can seem to deflete this behavior but the night staff just puts her in her room when she starts yelling so by the time I get there to visit she is in such a state I can't do anything to calm her down except leave. Her DR has put her on Seroquel but it isn't doesn't seem to be doing anything.
I know this is the disease and not my mom yelling at me but I just feel so bad that I can't make her feel safe and calm at where she is.
Any suggestions?
My Dad had a window of being angry, which was unusual for him, loss of driving, loss of control, overwhelmed by everyday stuff, easily confused. It passed. He is on citalopram now, helps him, does nothing for me. I take a small amount of Lexapro generic at night (more makes me sleepy) and it works great. I take Welbutrin day time. I used to take Trazadone, It will improve sleep, a small dose. My mom was on Prozac for a while following a stroke, it settled her anger issues. Later with Effexor - (Venlafaxine) to help with pain and mood. I am allergic to Vanlafaxine.
Some Of The Things That Come From Her Mouth Are Hurtful. I Take What She Says And Keep It To Myself Rather Than Defending Myself Verbally And Creating Argument.
Currently, She Is Takling Medication (Xanax) For Anxiety. Can Someone Recommend Anything, From Exercise To Medication(s), That Would Lessen The "Nasty" Effects Of Dimentia?
I don't have any easy answer for you. However, I am taking care of my mom at home and I know that she loves me even when she seems so mean. It is the illness talking through my mom. One minute, I am an angel for giving her such good care and not long after that I am mean and I don't understand because I am not going through what she is going through. She's right. I don't know and don't want to ever know. However, spend any time you can with your mom and know that she is sick and angry but that she loves you. Remember, these are people who were once vibrant and strong and they are facing reality whether they consciously realize it or not. I wish you and your family all the best!
It may also be that your mom needs some time to settle in to her new environment. Talk to the DON about what the timeline usually is for patient's settling in. As tough as it is, sometimes it's better to stay away for a week or more. I'm so sorry that you're going through this rough patch.