My mom is 94, has lived alone in the house since my dad passed away 4 1/2 years ago. My brother and I went there every evening and called her every afternoon to make sure she was ok and to make dinner. Last Summer she fell two separate times requiring separate hospital stays of a few weeks each time. She broke a bone in her foot one time and the other time hit her head, along with other bruises. She insisted on going home and continuing the same routine. I wanted to place her in a nursing home, where she would be watched 24/7, but my brother was against it. She's gone downhill, forgetting pots on the stove, staying up all night watching TV, unable to deal with bills, only taking sponge baths, etc. A few weeks ago she fell again, on the carpet by her bed. My brother found her and phoned me to help lift her into bed. She's only about 90lbs but I have osteoporosis and arthritis so it was pretty awkward getting her off the floor. I think we should've phoned 911, but she said she wasn't in pain and my brother said he'd stay with her to make sure she was ok. She was shaken up but by the end of the week she was alot better. About 10 days later she was just starting to use her walker again, when he left the room for a minute to get her something, and he heard a thud. She had fallen from standing by the foot of her bed to the floor. This time someone working in the backyard helped my brother lift her back to bed. Right now (this happened 8 days ago) she's got a badly bruised, swollen upper arm, shoulder, bruised knee. Last night she told me the back of her head also hurts. But maybe that's because she's been lying flat on her back for a week and refuses to get up even to use the commode, we have to use the bedpan. She mostly just goes in her Depends. She said she's afraid to even sit because she may fall again. It's worse everyday, even eating soup flat on her back, her head just on one pillow. I think she should be in hospital. This 2nd fall was 8 days ago and she absolutely refuses to try to get up, she sits up on the bed occasionally, with my brother right beside her. He's been staying there 24/7 since this happened and now I'm worried about him because of the stress and lack of sleep. She won't accept outside help, only wants us to be there. I'm only there every 2nd day now, because of my own health problems. Even though she's 94, she's very stubborn and will not get up. She's got some degree of dementia, takes donnepezil, which I suggested my brother ask the Dr for, about 3 years ago, also she has a pacemaker, takes diuretics, and thyroid meds. I wanted to put her in a nursing home when she came out of hospital last Summer, but my brother felt she'd be happier at home, and she was, until a few weeks ago. I'd really like any advice on what to do now, since we, mainly my brother, do everything for her, and she refuses to get up out of bed. Should we call an ambulance? What should we say is wrong with her, because last time the hospital discharged her last Summer, they said it was because she had recovered and no longer had an a acute condition. Is this refusal to get up and 2 falls in 17 days acute?? I think she should be in hospital.
Offer the pain meds if only Tylenol or Norco but something to relief the pain. It's got to hurt.
Watch for constipation too. Offer Stool softener, drink plenty of fluids. Push fluids on her to excrete the anesthesia. She will be extra sleepy for days due to the anesthesia.
She definitely needs to start walking and moving that arm, so don't baby her. Pace her activity providing rest when she looks or says she is tired.
So glad your mom is where she needs to be now - she will start to heal after her 'retreat into her shell' which that broken shoulder initiated which a normal response to a trauma like she had -
I know this was hard on you & bro but now you are in the system you will so much more help now - you were right that there was something untoward with your mom - our instinks are the subliminal alerting of a deeper awareness & you listened to yours .... GOOD ON YOU for going with your gut instink that something was wrong & out of kilter with her & got her the help she so badly needed - remember "d' nile" isn't just a river in Egypt
Just remember, they will bombard you with info - you & bro need to really look at this as it can be overwhelming - do either of you have a 'strength' in anything? ... like is either of you in financial or medical profession - divide this up between you going to where strengths are shown or just pick a part each so that you can wade through this
NEVER SIGN ANYTHING IN A HURRY - you have to look at everything well because you don't know where the loopholes are - if you are ONTARIO I have some experience as both mom & dad are in nursing homes here, so I will try to help where I can - if another province maybe my family contacts will know -
Keep letting us know how she is doing - you & bro are doing a good job taking care of her but at sometime you both may need to step up again keep her safe - hugs M
If it's practical, you could try taking her some edible treats that you know she really loves. Ice cream, or a really good milkshake (use a cold bag or a Thermos flask), or just anything that she always ordered first at a restaurant, but in tiny amounts just to tempt her. It might be possible to stimulate her appetite and get her restarted on eating that way, and be good for her morale.
We're not in the room with her, looking at her chart and we're not medical professionals. UTIS can cause a variety of symptoms, some of them psychiatric, in elders.
I know this is a sad and hard time for you; you love your mom and I'm happy that you were able to get her to agree to the hospital and that she's not in pain.
You and your brother need to have a conversation with mom's doctors about what is going on.
Add narcotic painkillers and it's no wonder your mom is lethargic
Her body is working hard to fight infection
As barb suggests - talk directly with doctor
Her shoulder will freeze if she doesn't do her physical therapy but have you been told her prognosis ?
#1 Age
#2 Strong pain meds
#3 "The body in non motion"
#4 Loss of pharyngeal reflex