I’m in a pickle - my mom has been in rehab 6 weeks and is going nuts. She told me ortho doc released her and she can be discharged from rehab and wants me to come get her and bring her to my house to continue recovery.
Feedback from the Golden Child is No she hasn’t been released, No she is not ambulatory, but it’s fine if she comes to my house till after the holidays and he will start looking for 24 hour care for her as that is what doctor recommended.
It’s funny how six weeks ago they - Golden Child and his wife did not even acknowledge me as a family member but now that the heavy lifting needs to be done he responds. He has weasled out of helping me moving her out of the rehab, loading her in and out of wheelchair, etc. when he was the one who admitted her there.
Everything in me says don’t do this. My brother has known for Years mom needs assisted living. This recent injury is proof. He controls her money - he could have already arranged a place. Waiting till after the holidays to even look for options while I single handedly take on her 24/7 care sounds too much like it will never get done cause he knows I’m stuck.
Take the xmas vibe to her: music, lights, food. (She's probably so bored). Party together!
Then go home alone.
Yeah right. I'll bet that's absolutely dandy with bro. No worries. And no hurry with his search for the ideal 24 hour care home, either... Perfect!
Smile sweetly and say that you wouldn't want to put mother through the upheaval and discomfort of two moves. Much better to wait until he's found her a permanent placement and then you'll be happy to help.
If the pressure continues, make your smile gradually less sweet until they finally understand the word "no." Take her a nice present for Christmas but don't let her over your threshold.