Hello
i know that they are doing what they are supposed to at the hospital. There was a Covid outbreak in the ward and they are all working hard. But I’m sorta alone. I have to travel out of town to the hospital either an hour and a half bus or a taxi or a ridei work and have responsibilities so I can’t be there as much as I want Not much in the way of other visitors her siblings are elderly too.My sister is mentally ill she can’t help My husband works alotSo mom has cancer of the blood, and had a bowel blockage. She got really sick then got better but then her blood cancer flared up and she needed transfusions again. Now she’s weak she fell twice recently this latest time hurt her thumb really badly it’s sprained plus bruised all over Shes on pain meds can’t walk anymore is very confused Doctors don’t let me know what is happening to herI get scared. I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want her to suffer I want her to get exercise again, and see the sunshine and listen to music and whatever makes her smile frankly I’m worriedany words of encouragement?
Everything is going to be OK. You can get through this even if it feels like you can’t. Just breathe and know that what is, is. When suffering or disease is intense and there is no possibility of recovery, death is no longer to be feared. It instead becomes release.
You posted same thing, 5 or 6 times it's obvious you are at the end of your rope, you can't help your mom with this strong of emotions, and this is not healthy for you.
So try some breathing exercises, catch your breath.
I'm wondering what's your moms age?
You are right now , in fight, flight or freeze mode.
Do some mindfulness, then explain to us better what's going on.
Hopefully the next time you get to see her you will be able to push her outside in a wheelchair for some fresh air and sunshine, and get to play her some of her favorite music.