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i know that they are doing what they are supposed to at the hospital. There was a Covid outbreak in the ward and they are all working hard. But I’m sorta alone. I have to travel out of town to the hospital either an hour and a half bus or a taxi or a ridei work and have responsibilities so I can’t be there as much as I want Not much in the way of other visitors her siblings are elderly too.My sister is mentally ill she can’t help My husband works alotSo mom has cancer of the blood, and had a bowel blockage. She got really sick then got better but then her blood cancer flared up and she needed transfusions again. Now she’s weak she fell twice recently this latest time hurt her thumb really badly it’s sprained plus bruised all over Shes on pain meds can’t walk anymore is very confused Doctors don’t let me know what is happening to herI get scared. I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want her to suffer I want her to get exercise again, and see the sunshine and listen to music and whatever makes her smile frankly I’m worriedany words of encouragement?

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Do you have POA? Can you afford an inexpensive motel/hotel where you can stay a few days? That way you could be face to face with the staff. They then see a real person with concern. My daughter says not having POA can be worked around. If Mom can make her own decisions, she can sign a HIPAA form giving you the right to have her info. Maybe even able to give you POA thru a Social Worker. But you need to be there.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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seeing someone you love suffering and moving towards the end is very hard and I get you feel like you wish you could help her. If you do get the chance to push her out in the sunshine or by a window, or play some of her favorite music like funky grandma says, that would be good for you and for your mom. Or bring her flowers or a bite of something she loves or a picture of the two of you when you were on vacation or holidays or happy. Or just hold her hand and brush her hair and tell her you love her and she was a good mom (if this is true) or remind her of one or two of your favorite memories together from long ago. Even if she can’t respond. If she is worried about something like what will happen after she is gone, tell her it’s OK and you will take care of it.

Everything is going to be OK. You can get through this even if it feels like you can’t. Just breathe and know that what is, is. When suffering or disease is intense and there is no possibility of recovery, death is no longer to be feared. It instead becomes release.
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Reply to Suzy23
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Pirate, It sounds like you are very upset. I understand why, it sounds like your mom is very ill, but you need to get control of your emotions.

You posted same thing, 5 or 6 times it's obvious you are at the end of your rope, you can't help your mom with this strong of emotions, and this is not healthy for you.

So try some breathing exercises, catch your breath.

I'm wondering what's your moms age?

You are right now , in fight, flight or freeze mode.

Do some mindfulness, then explain to us better what's going on.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Your mom is where she needs to be right now and I'm sure being well taken care of. And I'm sure that you can call the nurses station nearest her room any time to check on her.
Hopefully the next time you get to see her you will be able to push her outside in a wheelchair for some fresh air and sunshine, and get to play her some of her favorite music.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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